Take these broken wings and learn to fly
by CitySleeps
Summary: Kurt never went to Dalton, he never met Blaine. He had a really rough year and now he is not himself anymore. He is sad and lonely. Burt hires Blaine to help with cars in garage over the summer and that's how Blaine and Kurt meet. Blaine will be the light in the dark.
1. Prologue

Prologue

Burt Hummel was really worried about his son. Kurt hadn't had an easiest year. He was bullied, badly; he was threatened; they even made him a prom QUEEN and Burt was sure, that there was something more, that Kurt hadn't told him about. Burt started thinking, that if he would have convinced his son to go to Dalton, Kurt wouldn't be so depressed. Kurt would be much happier, like he was before. But now, Kurt was barely eating, he actually didn't care about his clothes anymore and Burt hadn't heard him singing for months. Kurt was lonely and sad, pushing people away. Kurt wasn't… Kurt.

"Do you know about Kurt's plans for the summer?" Burt asked Finn one day at a garage.

Finn swallowed over the engine. It was obvious, that Finn didn't feel comfortable, when Burt asked him about Kurt.. again.

"No," Finn answered but didn't stop working. "I don't think he has any."

Burt scratched his neck and frowned.

"Is Rachel still trying to bond with him?" Burt asked Finn again. And Finn was still terribly uncomfortable.

"No," he said. "After… New York .. Kurt got really mad at her and he they had a fight, so Rachel gave up."

"Hm," Burt hummed. Right.. New York. Kurt was really disappointed when they lost the competition, although he loved New York itself. It was the last positive event in his life. Probably the only positive event in this year.

"Do you think that he needs.. you know, help?" Burt asked a few moments later.

Finn gave him a long look, before answering.

"Like an.. psychologist?" Burt nodded. „I think it wouldn't hurt."

* * *

„Are you Burt Hummel?"

Burt turned to the voice and a saw a boy, not older, that Kurt, standing by the car he was working on.

„Yes?"

„I'm Blaine. Blaine Anderson," the boy introduced. „I heard, that you are looking for employee for the summer."

„You want a job?" Burt was suprised. Yes, Finn could handle cars very well, but this boy really didn't seem like someone.. who woud know much about the engines.

„For the summer, yes," Blaine nodded. „My dad and I worked on a car few years back, so it wouldn't be my first time.."

„Huh," Burt signed. He examined Blaine's proper look. „Don't give me wrong, but you seem like a kind of boy, whose parents are rich. Why would you need a job anyway?"

Blaine carefully bit his lip. „Uhm, yes they are wealthy enough to provide me a safe private school, but I wouldn't call them rich. I just want to collect some money for future.."

Burt's heart raced. There weren't many private schools around here..

„You go to Dalton?"

Blaine's face light up with suprise, but now he became really nervious. Burt guessed, that he had also his reasons for going to such a fancy and.. safe school.

„Yeah," Blaine answered, but didn't say nothing more.

"I wanted my son to transfer there back in the fall, but he refused.. it isn't exactly the cheapest, you know, and he has too big heart to spend such money.. He's a lot like his mother.."

Blaine smiled shyly and stayed there in silence, as Burt finished up his work. It was late, and now was the good time to get home to get some rest. Dinner would be ready soon..

"I tell you what," he told Blaine. "Come here tomorrow and I'll see if you have what it takes to have the job, and then, we'll talk about it, okay?"

"Okay," Blaine nodded. "Yes, that's great. What time should I come?"


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Burt was really surprised, when he saw, how good Blaine was with cars. He couldn't fix everything yet, but he was really fast leaner. So Blaine was officially hired. It went great, that way Finn had more free time to spend with Rachel over the summer.

"You're from Dalton?" Finn had asked Blaine, when they first met. "We won your glee club this year.."

Blaine frowned. "You're in New Directions? I though you looked familiar.."

"And you are the lead singer of Warblers, aren't you?" Finn laughed awkwardly.

"I guess we're competitors, huh?" Blaine smiled and quickly got back to work.

It was few weeks later, when it happened. Kurt came to garage with some lunch for Finn and Burt. Burt guessed that it was one of Carole's ideas to get Kurt out of the house.

"It's great to see you outside of the house, kiddo," Burt told him, when he started eating his lunch. Kurt sat on the chair, not really far away from him and gave him a long look.

"What?" Burt asked. "I'm really worried about you."

"Dad, I'm fine," Kurt assured him. "And if we are having this talk again, I'm going to leave."

"Okay, okay," Burt signed and shut himself up with a sandwich.

"So, do you have a new worker here, or what?" Kurt asked a few moments later, when he noticed Blaine on the other side of the garage, working on a car.

"What?" was Burt confused for a second and turned to look, where Kurt was looking. "Oh yeah, Blaine. He's here for the summer. I thought I told you about him last week.. you know.. over the dinner."

"I probably wasn't listening," Kurt mumbled carelessly, as he tried to find a better angle, to look at the boy.

"He goes to Dalton," Burt said. "I think you should introduce yourself to him.."

Kurt turned his head back to his father and watched at him with a judgmental stare.

"I know who he is. He is the lead singer of the Warblers. I won't introduce myself to my competition."

"See, that's why I'm worried about you," Burt spurted out. "An old you, would introduce yourself to a nice guy who you obviously find attractive. An old you wouldn't care if he is you competition or not."

"Fine," Kurt signed angrily and stood up. "I'm going to introduce myself. To an attractive boy. Who's probably straight anyway." These words were more meant to himself, than Burt. Was Kurt really.. nervous?

Kurt walked over Blaine, who was literally under the car, and stopped. It took a while, before Blaine rolled himself out and looked at him questioningly.

"Hi," Blaine said. "You must be Kurt."

"You must be Blaine."

Blaine narrowed his eyes as he turned his head for a second to take a look at Burt, who was watching the whole situation intensively. Slowly, Blaine started to stand up to take a better look at the boy.

"Are you in New Directions too?" he asked.

"Yup, we're competitions," Kurt answered with a cold tone, ignoring Blaine's examining eyes.

"Yeah, I thought so.. It was awkward for Finn too."

Even more awkward, weird silence followed.

"So how's Dalton?" Kurt finally opened his mouth again, with a much warmer tone this time and crossed his arms.

"It's great.. it's safe. It's a great school." Blaine swallowed and reached for something to clean his hands. "Burt told me, that he wanted you to transfer, but you refused."

"Yeah, I didn't like the idea of me spending his honeymoon money on private schools, just for the sake of lack of bullies."

"Huh." Blaine leaned to the car. "I guess you had some trouble in your school.."

"You could say that.." Kurt signed and walked over the shelf right next to them, just to take a look at the tools. "I'm the only gay kid out of the closet," he continued talking as he turned back to Blaine. "It can be quite harsh sometimes." For a second, there was some kind of fear in Kurt's eyes. Fear of rejection.

"Only gay kid out of the closet?" Blaine raised his eyebrows. "So there's someone in the closet?"

Kurt's eyes darkened instantly and he glanced quickly to his father, who was still watching and probably even listening them.

"I should go," Kurt said as he turned his back to Blaine and walked out of the garage.

* * *

Dinner that night was rather quiet. Finn was too busy with eating, to say anything, Burt found himself just staring at his son, who barely had touched his food again and Carole was the only one, who tried to break the ice.

"So Burt, how is the new kid, Blaine?" Carole asked, trying to make this dinner a little less awkward. "Is he doing alride?"

Carole had to punch Burt with her leg under the table, to get his attention.

"Uhm, yeah, what?"

"I asked about Blaine? How is he doing?" Carole repeated with annoyance.

"Oh, he's great. It's great to have younger and brighter people in garage, you know.." Burt answered.

"Kurt, have you met Blaine?" Finn sputtered. "You know, he's gay too."

Kurt's eyes lightened open immediately.

"Are seriously saying, that you asked him about that?" Kurt's voice was full of judgment.

Finn's face flushed and he almost choke.

"Uhm, yeah, kinda.."

Kurt rolled his eyes. A short silence followed, before Burt opened his mouth to talk.

"Why don't you take a chance on him?" Burt said then. With that, Kurt was the one who almost choked.

"What?" he exclaimed dramatically and took a sip of his juice.

"Yeah, he is gay, you're gay, why not?"

"Burt," Carole warned, but Burt didn't understand why.

"So that's why I should go for him? Because we're both gay?"

Burt didn't answer, just frowned. Now he saw the blank in this situation.

"Sorry, I didn't mean that.." he excused and looked blankly at his wife, silently asking for help.

"Kurt, I think, what Burt is trying to tell you, is that, maybe having a gay friend, wouldn't hurt," Carole spoke gently.

"Having any kind of friend wouldn't hurt," Fill uttered under his breath, so Kurt barely heard him.

"You know, you could use someone, who understands you the way, that we will probably never understand.." Carole continued. " And if you like him, then maybe, you could just.. hang out with him more. Only, if you want this. We're not forcing you, you know.."

Kurt played with his food. He didn't have an appetite. Again. No one said anything for a while. But Burt found himself watching over his troubled son again.

"Kurt, you could really use some help," Burt signed then. "I don't want to force you into anything, but it really seems like, you should talk with someone… a specialist maybe..?"

"Okay, fine, dad," Kurt snorted then. "I will go and talk to Blaine or whatever and you'll see that I don't need to see any kind of specialist, okay?"

Burt watched at Kurt's angry eyes and nodded.

"Okay," he said. "Okay for now."


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Everything was really quiet when Kurt arrived to garage the next day. All he could hear was a radio with Katy Perry's song and someone humming along.

It was Blaine, who was changing a car's tire, and started singing 'Teenage Dream' a lot louder, like he would share that song with Katy. Kurt stood there, on the other side of the garage and leaning on the wall, while listening him sing. Kurt had to admit, he was really good. Kurt had heard Blaine singing before, but he had never really noticed it.

"Suddenly it is crystal clear," Kurt said, when the song ended, "why you are the lead singer of the Warblers."

Blaine jumped at Kurt's voice. Immediately he was back on his feet, looking at Kurt, some kind of startle in his eyes.

This was the first time, when Kurt noticed his eyes: brown, maybe even golden, sweet and kind of sad, like he had something to be sorry for.

"Kurt," Blaine mumbled under his breath and reached for radio, to turn it off. "Burt and Finn aren't around, they went to.. Westville for the day."

"Oh, I know," Kurt said and slowly started walking towards Blaine. And Kurt did know. He had heard Burt and Finn talking about it in the morning: how they had to drive out of Lima to help a client. "I came here to see you."

Blaine's eyebrows rose instantly.

"Me?" he asked with a surprised tone and watched how Kurt got closer to him.

"This is for you," Kurt stated, a little nervous and shaky himself and handed Blaine a coffee cup. "I feel like I kinda owe it to you after yesterday."

Blaine took the cup, but still questionable and confused look on his face.

"It wasn't exactly the nicest introducing. I can be kinda bitchy..."

Blaine chuckled as he took a sip of his coffee, while Kurt did the same.

"I wouldn't call it bitchy," Blaine said then and Kurt shot him an amused look. "Not really wanting to talk, maybe."

Kurt swallowed and turned his head, to not look into Blaine's eyes.

"I'm guessing you still don't," Blaine signed then.

Kurt walked over to the chair, not really far away from the car that Blaine was working on, and sat.

"Look, I get it," Blaine said then, as he turned back to his work. "You've had a rough year and you don't want to relive it with sharing. I've been there. But I hope you know, that closing yourself to other people, won't make it better.

Kurt's heart raced as he frowned at Blaine's words.

"What my dad told you?"

"Oh, nothing," Blaine answered quickly, when he saw Kurt's expression. "Just that you've had a rough year and he wanted you to transfer to Dalton."

"So it's something that Finn said?" Kurt guessed and with that Blaine's face fell. Blaine checked Kurt's expression again, before he continued, doubtfully.

"Well, he just expresses his anger a lot, while he's working. He keeps going on about something, that you said to his girlfriend and how ungrateful you are after all he did for you.."

Kurt froze, unsure, how to react. So he just stayed there with no expression, while Blaine checked him again, probably feeling slightly guilty for saying the things he just said.

"Well, you can't blame him," Kurt spoke a few moments later with a shaky voice. He tried to stay calm, but he really wanted to go back home, to his room, where no one was around and just lock himself there for the rest of the day.

Blaine on the other hand, obviously felt terribly uncomfortable, so he just kept up with his work.

Neither of them didn't say a word for couple of minutes, while Kurt was trying to deal with what he had just heard. When he sensed the reality again, Kurt peeked at Blaine, just to take a look at him, while he wasn't watching.

Kurt had to admit: Blaine really was terribly handsome and attractive. And a sheer fact, that he really was gay, almost drove Kurt insane. So yeah, he decided, maybe he really could go for Blaine: for the start, he could just talk with someone, who might understand him better.

"There was this bully," he started with a quiet tone. He knew that Blaine would hear him. "David Karofsky, who just pushed me around and slushed me all the time. But starting this year, it all became worse and now he was like.. always around. So one day, out of nowhere I found this weird.. courage in me, that I didn't have before. And after he had pushed me again, I followed him to the locker room and asked him, why he was doing this do me and he just.. kissed me."

Blaine's eyes grew wide as he turned his face to take a look at Kurt.

"It was quite a shock, but I shoved him away. I guess it was shock for him too, so fortunately he left after that. And uhm, I've never told anyone about it.."

"Why?" Blaine squeaked at surprise.

"Because," Kurt answered. "I'm not the kind of person, who would push someone out of the closet. I know, how hard it can be, so I never told anyone, that he kissed me."

Blaine nodded, silently saying that he understands.

"But after that, Karofsky threatened to kill me, if I ever told anybody him. Still, I told my dad that he threatened to kill me and that's why he wanted me to transfer."

Kurt stopped for a second, trying to breath normally again, before continuing.

"Me and Karofsky.. worked things out for the end of the school year and he apologized, so I guess it ended up quite well. He transfers next year, so hopefully, it will get better, but you know.. it wasn't exactly the perfect version of the first kiss.."

By the time Kurt had courage to look at Blaine again, Blaine had already stood up and walked a little closer to him. His eyes were filled with commiseration.

"I'll buy you a lunch," Blaine said then and walked over the dressing room to change.

* * *

"Those blazers are not so awful!" Blaine exclaimed over his lunch.

Kurt laughed. "You're right," he told Blaine. "Maybe not on EVERYONE, but wearing the same damn thing every SINGLE day, you have to admit, this is certainly not the best part of private school!"

"Well, uniform is not the reason to not to go to Dalton. It's still a great school."

"You keep repeating that," Kurt pointed out quietly.

"Yeah, sorry," Blaine apologized

Silence followed. Not heavy, or awkward, just a short silence, when they both took a chance to just eat for a second.

"Do think that I should have transferred? " Kurt asked then.

Blaine took a moment before answering.

"Maybe," he said. "Like I said, Dalton is a great school and it's safe, but the funny thing is, that if you had asked me about Dalton before this.. kissing thing," Blaine lowered his voice for that. "Then I would have told you how I didn't have any courage at my old school and how I ran from bullies."

Kurt let himself to drown into Blaine's beautiful eyes, as they both looked directly at each other.

"But you know," Blaine signed and turned his face back to his food. "I understand why you didn't want to transfer. I know that Dalton is not an option for everyone."

Kurt nodded slowly and silence followed again.

"So, when you said that those blazer don't look awful on EVERYONE, then who exactly, did you meant?"

Kurt smiled shyly, trying not to start blushing.

"You're impossible," he told Blaine and had another bite of his lunch. It was the first time after months, when he had an appetite.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Their lunch at Breadstix was lovely, Kurt had to admit. They talked a lot about music and movies, Blaine told him stories about Dalton and about his friends and he never pushed Kurt to talk about his friends. For an hour, Kurt almost forgot, why the walls of his room were so safe to run to. For an hour he felt normal and free again, but as soon as they made out of the restaurant and Blaine had to return to the garage, Kurt was alone again. He almost promised Blaine to stop by the garage again, but once he was back at home, he locked himself in for the rest of the week again.

The more he thought about their lunch, the more exposed he felt. He regretted telling about Karofsky to Blaine. He felt so pathetic for almost crying about his sad sad story to Blaine. Why the hell would Blaine even care about that? Why he would even tell Blaine that the only time, Kurt had been this close to a boy, was the time, when he was kissed by bully? What would Blaine think about him now?

And what if Blaine told about Karofsky to his dad? Burt would kill Karofsky and tell the whole city that Karofsky is just as gay as Kurt was. And then he would be disappointed in Kurt for not telling him..

So no, Kurt never went back to garage, because he just wasn't sure how to be around Blaine. Of course, he was still afraid that Blaine and Burt might talk too much and he became really paranoiac around his father, so he spent even more time in his room, lying on the bed, browsing internet or just doing nothing. He left his room only for bathroom or for dinner.

So this is how Kurt spent his entire week, until in Friday he found a surprise in their kitchen, when he went there for dinner.

Blaine was standing by the kitchen cabinet, looking like someone, who's a little lost.

"Blaine," Kurt stuttered in surprise. "Wha-what are you doing here?"

"Uhm.." Blaine mumbled, but didn't get to answer because Carole and Burt walked into kitchen.

"Hey kiddo," Burt said as Carole walked to the stove to take a look at the dinner, that should be ready right away. "I invited Blaine to join us, it's not healthy to spend Fridays alone."

Still confused, Kurt was searching for answers from Blaine.

"My parents are out of town, so I'm home alone.." he almost whispered for explanation.

Kurt turned away, trying not to panic. _Blaine is in your kitchen, Blaine is in your kitchen_, a voice in his head repeated. He wasn't even sure, why exactly did he wanted to panic. Was it because he hadn't showered for almost two days or was it because the dinner would be really awkward.

But it really wasn't awkward. At least at the start, when Finn, Burt and Blaine were discussing football, while Kurt and Carole were quite quiet. Well, Kurt was quiet, Carole was just too busy with smiling to really say anything.

"So, Kurt, what have you been doing?" Burt asked once they ran out of football themed discussions.

"Uhm, you know, usual.." Kurt answered and shot his dad an angry look. Burt did it on purpose, Kurt was sure.

"You know, I've been thinking about that seeing a specialist thing-"

"DAD!"

"And I'm thinking, that if you don't want to see one, then I will make you work in garage."

"Could we NOT talk about that right now?" Kurt exclaimed and really starting to panic, trying not to look at Blaine, who probably felt quite awkward too.

"You will NEVER talk about it, no matter, if there's someone here, or not!" Burt was almost yelling.

"Burt," Carole said with an asking tone.

"And now you're trying to pressurize me?"

Burt didn't answer. He went silence, afraid to admit, that yes, he was trying to pressurize his son with Blaine over there.

So Kurt turned his head away from his dad, watched his food, what he didn't want to eat anyway and then stood up. Without saying a word, he left the room and turned back to his room.

When he closed the door, he leaned on the wall and tried to just breathe. Painful tears ran down his cheeks, as it became harder to keep it together.

A few minutes later, someone knocked on the door.

"Sweetie, are you alride?" Carolie asked.

Kurt swallowed hard and cleared his voice, before answering.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said. "I'm sorry, I'm not really hungry."

"Okay," she mumbled and walked away.

* * *

Blaine didn't get attached to people easily, but Kurt Hummel was someone, who was now constantly in his mind now, when he realized that he really needs help. Of course there was something more. They had good time during their lunch, it was great to discuss books and music with him, he was a great company.

So after Blaine had assured Burt, that he they were okay, and he understands, why he actually was invited, he arrived home, tired and spent. He went straight to bed and staring a ceiling for a little while, thinking about Kurt. He wanted to help him so badly, but he really wasn't sure how.

"So how's Kurt?" Blaine asked Burt on Monday morning, when they worked together on a car, that was just bought in.

Burt signed. "I don't know."

Blaine didn't say a word. Burt was the one who looked like someone, who really needed some advice.

"It's just that," Burt said with a lot louder voice, giving up at his work and looking down directly into Blaine's eyes. "I just don't have any idea, how to help him you know.. I just want him to be like he was before: dressed like chocolate factory and singing like Diana Ross, while dancing in his room in a really tight costume."

Blaine, accidentally, imagined Kurt dancing.

"I know I wasn't exactly perfect father, when he came out to me, but we had a wonderful relationship before.."

Blaine looked at Burt, seeing a worry in his eyes, but didn't find the right words to say anything. So he finished his work too, and straightened up.

"Sorry, kid," Burt apologized after this weird moment, when they both looked into each other's eyes. "Never mind, I just have a lot in my mind. You should take the rest of the day off, there's not much to be done today anyway."

"Are you sure?" Blaine asked before removing his cloves.

"Yes, of course, you've done a lot, you could really use this. I'm gonna stay here."

"Okay."

Blaine went to change, but instead of driving back home, he found himself driving towards Burt's house.

He knocked the door a few times, before it was opened. He wasn't sure why, but he expected Carole. It was Kurt. This suited him even better. He looked worn out and tense, wearing grey sweatpants and shirt.

"What do YOU want?" Kurt asked with an unfriendly tone.

Blaine sniffed. "You were right, you really can be bitchy.."

Kurt's face softened a bit. "Sorry," he singed. "Do you want to come in?"

Blaine's face lightened up with a smile and he tried really hard to not look weird.

"Sure."

They walked through a hallway, towards the kitchen, where Kurt stopped and turned to look at his face again.

"Are you home alone?" Blaine asked to break the silence.

"Finn is out with Rachel, Carole is at work and Burt at garage.. shouldn't you be in the garage?"

"Burt gave me a day off."

"Oh."

"Now I'm sorry, but I still want to know, why you're here.." Kurt demanded with a soft tone, when he finally stopped walking.

"I'm here for you actually," Blaine said nervously. Kurt's face light up with surprise. "I thought, that maybe we could go for coffee."

"It's almost afternoon."

"It's never too late for coffee.."

Kurt examined Blaine's face for a few seconds.

"Why?" Kurt asked after thinking pause.

"I really enjoyed our lunch, so I wondered, If we could kind of.. repeat that.."

Kurt looked doubtful, maybe even skeptical.

„Look," Blaine signed then. „I know, that you think, that I'm here for a pity party, but I swear I'm not."

"You're not?" Kurt asked with a high pitch.

"No," Blaine assured. But Kurt still wasn't sure. "You don't have to say a word about your life, If it suits you better."

"Have you told Burt?" Kurt asked then, looking a little nervious.

"Have I told what?"

"About Karofsky."

"Of course not," Blaine assured, feeling a little offenced. He couldn't blaime Kurt, they barely knew each other. "I would never ever tell it to anybody. It's not my secret to tell."

With that, Kurt was convinced.

"I'm going to change," Kurt told him and left Blaine alone in the kitchen for a moment to change his clothes.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

28. June:

08.24

To: Kurt

How does your dad deal with workers who are 24 minutes late?

08.24

From: Kurt

He looks quite calm. But your coffee is cold.

08.25

To: Kurt

Wait, you're there?

08.26

Yup, he wasn't kidding, when he yelled at me over that dinner, saying, that he would make me work at the garage. And now you're 26 minutes late.

08.27

Aand I'm here.

* * *

19.12

To: Kurt

Is it mean to say, that I'm actually glad, that your dad makes you work in garage?

19.13

From: Kurt

Considering the reasons, WHY he makes me work, yes it's a little mean.

19.13

To: Kurt

Sorry

* * *

2. jule:

14.37

From: Kurt

I know, it's Saturday, but it would be really weird to eat lunch without you.

14.38

To: Kurt

I didn't have any idea, that I could be such an addiction. I'm sorry, I can't right now, my brother is in town.

14.38

From: Kurt

Oh. You have a brother?

14.38

To: Kurt

Yeah, you'll be okay?

14.39

From: Kurt

Yes, I will replace you with MY brother.

14.40

To: Kurt

I'm not replacing you.

14.40

From: Kurt

Blaine, I know, I'm kidding. It's okay

14.40

To: Kurt

You're sure?

14.41

From: Kurt

Blaine, you sound like a pity party.

14.42

To: Kurt

Sorry

* * *

14.15

To: Kurt

So I feel kinda bad for blowing you off yesterday.

14.16

From: Kurt

Blaine, you didn't blow me off.

14.16

To: Kurt

Okay, yes, that sounded dirty

14.17

From: Kurt

OH MY GOD NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT

From: Kurt

I meant that I you didn't ditch me or anything. You were just busy and I understand

14.18

To: Kurt

Awkward. Sorry.

To: Kurt

So, no lunch?

14.20

From: Kurt

If you promise not to mention sex again, then I'm coming.

14.21

To: Kurt

You know you sound like one of those virgins, who don't have courage to learn about sex.

14.22

From: Kurt

You know , I think, that I won't come anyway.

14.22

To: Kurt

Wait, you DON'T know nothing about sex?

14.23.

From: Kurt

Okay, yes, I don't. I have just as much sexual appealing as baby penguin and I'm quite fine with it. Now could we PLEASE stop texting about sex.

14.23

To: Kurt

You know you're have to learn about it some day.

14.24

From: Kurt

I know, but not right now.

* * *

"So, where's Kurt?" Blaine asked Monday morning, when Burt and Finn came to garage without Kurt.

"He wasn't feeling well," Finn answered and started working. Burt and Blaine were now alone, Finn in the other side of the garage.

Blaine hesitated, but asked then: "Burt, I know, it's a weird question, but have you and Kurt ever talked about.. sex?

* * *

20.11

From: Kurt

Please tell me, that you weren't the one, who made my dad give me the 'talk'.

20.11

To: Kurt

There has been awfully a lot of apologizes in our texts.

20.12

From: Kurt

Oh my god and whose fault is that?

Kurt was still blushing, when he saw Blaine on Tuesday morning, but didn't say anything. Blaine handed him a coffee, he had bought for him, trying to make Kurt a little less mad at him. It seemed to Blaine, that it worked.

At lunch time, Burt and Finn left the garage, so Blaine and Kurt were left alone. As Kurt didn't exactly work with cars, Blaine hadn't had a chance to talk with him yet.

"So on the scales of one to ten, how mad are you?"

"I'm not mad at you," Kurt signed as he took a bite of a sandwich, he had bought himself this morning. Blaine felt confused. "I'm.. embarrassed," he explained with a quiet tone, although, no one would hear them.

"Why?"

"Because, I'm not comfortable talking about this stuff. With anybody. And don't take this personally, but it's super weird with you."

"Huh," was all that Blaine could manage to say. "You know, that I'm just as inexperienced as you. I've never had a boyfriend. Yes, I've met a few gay guys before, but they were barely my friends.."

Blaine could hear Kurt swallowing. "Well, that makes a nice change," he smiled with a shaky voice. Blaine wondered for a second, if Kurt felt some kind of pressure

"Do you mind asking me, how is your relationship with your father?" Blaine asked then, and mentally slapping himself. "I mean, you guys really don't talk while you're working, so I wondered, if this.. talk made it even worse."

A little smile appeared to Kurt's face. His blue eyes were looking directly into Blaine's, making him even more adorable.

"Uhm," Kurt snapped then, when he finally noticed the weird moment between them, when nether of them said anything. "No, don't worry. You didn't make anything worse, things are just.. heavy right now."

"I've noticed," Blaine said uttered quietly. "But you know, you are really lucky with Burt."

"What do you mean?" Kurt looked.. dubious, like he wanted to ask something specific. "Are.. you and your dad okay?"

"Oh, yes," Blaine answered quickly. "I'm quite lucky also, my parents are great, but when it comes to my sexuality, they aren't so open minded, like Burt. Things can be quite.. difficult between us sometimes."

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize," Blaine signed then and smiled too. "It's okay. I just hope you appreciate Burt."

Kurt was hesitant before, he spoke again. "Maybe.. I didn't at first, but uhm.. back in the fall he had an heart attack and he was in coma, so after that.. I really do. Appreciate him. Sorry.. if it doesn't seems so."

Blaine was suprised to hear Kurt talking about.. something they really didn't talk about. And he regreted a little for taking up this theme at the first place.

"Now, who's the one, who is apologizing a lot?"

Kurt smiled, again, and Blaine thought, if he could make Kurt's smile last forever.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Kurt wasn't sure how, but somehow he and Blaine became friends during the next weeks. It was actually a wonderful way to spend July in his father's garage. It was still hard for Kurt to completely trust Blaine, so he hadn't really opened up yet but Kurt knew that the time, when he's going to have to tell Blaine more about himself, wasn't far away anymore. Blaine was caring and lovely, not pushing him, just being around. There were some really sweet moments, that made Kurt smile, just like then, when Blaine asked, if he had changed worse anything between Kurt and Burt.

They knew each other's location all the time, trough the texting. Their lunches became longer and it seemed to Kurt, that Burt didn't even mind, if they were away from work too long, as long as they were together. They talked hours through the phone about music and books, before they realized, that it was almost midnight and they should probably get some rest, before returning to work.

It was the last Saturday of July and they were eating dinner at Breadstix after seeing a movie. The movie-dinner thing was quite new to them, but neither of them felt uncomfortable, since they were too busy with talking about the movie.

"Kurt?" a woman's voice sounded suddenly out of nowhere. Kurt recognized it with a second.

"Mercedes!" he hailed, a little too loudly and nervously. The girl was standing not so far away from them, Sam right behind her, both of them kind of sad looking. They had obviously just finished with dinner. Kurt tried to stay calm, as he looked at Mercedes and then to Blaine, who swallowed awkwardly. "Meet my.. friend, Blaine," Kurt said then. "Blaine, these are Mercedes and.. Sam."

Kurt wondered for second, why Sam and Mercedes were having dinner together, but he really couldn't think about it much longer, since the awkwardness in this situation lasted.

"You're from New Directions too, right?" Blaine asked as he and Mercedes shook hands, really, really lazily. Mercedes examined Blaine suspiciously.

"You look really familiar.." Sam decided to speak a second later. "Aren't you the lead singer of the Warblers?"

"Uhm, yeah," Blaine answered with a weak smile. Kurt thought that meeting his competitors was a still a bit uncomfortable for Blaine. Or maybe it was just weird, because he and Blaine were sitting behind the same dinner table.

"Blaine.. works in my father's garage for the summer," Kurt explained to Mercedes's questionable look.

"Oh," Mercedes signed. "Uhm, how are you?" she turned to Kurt then. "I haven't seen you for a while.." They hadn't seen each other since the ending of the school year.

"I'm.. getting better," Kurt said. "Yourself?" he peeked at Sam, who was still trying to make himself invisible behind the girl.

Mercedes turned a bit for a second to take a look at the boy before answering. "Could be better."

Silence followed, when Kurt was trying to read something out from Mercedes's and Sam's weird faces and Blaine just let his eyes hit his almost empty plate.

"Okay," Mercedes exhaled then with a high pitch. "We're going to go then.. It was nice seeing you."

She turned her back to Kurt, as they started walking away, when suddenly Kurt stopped them.

"Mercedes!" he shouted, then stood up and walked over her. "I know that I've been quite.. off but I'd really liked to make it up."

A faith smile appeared on girl's face and that made Kurt's heart swell. He really missed her. "I'd like that," she said. "Give me a call some day.."

"Sure."

"See ya, Kurt."

"Bye."

"Somebody special?" Blaine asked, when Kurt returned to their table.

"Yes," Kurt smiled feeling even better now. "You could say that."

* * *

"So how was the date?" Burt asked when Kurt arrived home that evening.

"It wasn't a date, dad," Kurt answered. "We're just friends."

"Yeah, right," Burt uttered under his breath. Kurt decided to ignore that.

"I met Mercedes, at Breadstix," Kurt stated then, witch was a bit weird, because he hadn't talked with Burt about these random things for a long time.

"Did ya?" Burt surprised and looked away from the tv for a second to watch Kurt. "Well keep that up, and I will release you from the garage work."

Kurt's heart stopped. He wasn't sure, if he wanted that anymore. Or did he..?

* * *

On Monday, Kurt had to cancel his regular coffee with Blaine and asked his dad the morning off, so he could meet Mercedes at Lima Bean.

"You can take the whole day off," Burt had told him.

"So tell me about you and Blaine, are you like.. together?" Mercedes asked, when they sat down.

"Really, Mercedes? Really? We haven't seen each other for two months and that's the first thing you ask?"

"And whose fault is that?" Mercedes gushed.

"Sorry," Kurt signed and took a sip of his coffee.

"But seriously, what's with you and Blaine?"

"How do you know, that he's even gay?"

With that Mercedes choked. "Wait, he is?"

They both started laughing.

"We're just friends, 'cedes," Kurt said, when he could catch breath normally again. "But please explain me, why did I see you and Sam together.. again." Theme switch, yes, that's what Kurt needed. He really didn't want to talk about Blaine right now.

"Oh, we were kinda like a.. thing over the summer."

"You two dated?" Kurt mumbled, although it really wasn't a big surprise. He had suspected it.

"Yeah, but he's family is moving now, so.."

"Oh."

"I guess nice as it lasted," Mercedes smiled with a memory.

"Is that.. what you were talking about on Saturday? You both looked really pale."

"Yes, we decided that this would be our last dinner together. He's probably driving away right now."

"I'm sorry."

Mercedes shrugged sadly.

* * *

It was the ending of the hard week. There has been a lot of broken cars and a lot of cleaning in garage, so Kurt was spent, tired and although he was quite fine with hanging out with Blaine, he still missed his safe room, where all he could do is sleep.

Blaine had been busy with his work that this week had only been about few lunches together. Although he and Mercedes had texted a few times, they hadn't met again. So Kurt was alone again. And it didn't take long, before he remembered the comfortable feeling, that his room gave it to him.

"So do you let me off the hook?" Kurt asked Burt in Friday, when they were closing the shop. Blaine and Finn were already changing clothes, so they he and Burt were alone.

"Off the hook?" Burt didn't understand.

"Do I have to keep working here?"

"Oh," Burt signed then. "About that.. I think you should keep working until the school starts."

"What?" Kurt exhaled. "Are you serious? Why? You said that if I keep up hanging out with Blaine, you would release me!"

An awkward silence followed, since Kurt could feel somebody else looking at them, feeling .. shocked.

"Is that the only reason, why we've been hanging out?" a different kind of voice echoed behind Kurt.

Kurt turned and looked at Blaine's golden and disappointed eyes. He didn't even notice, when Blaine and Finn had returned.

"What?" Kurt stuttered in confusion. "No, Blaine."

But Blaine didn't gave Kurt a chance to explain, as turned his back and walked out of the garage.

* * *

5. August:

19.24

To: Blaine

Blaine, please, let me explain. It's not what you think.

21.11

To: Blaine

I really don't want to do it over texting, so could you please at least answer my calls?

22.22

To: Blaine

So they say, that if you make wish over 11.11, 22.22 or 00.00, it will come true. .

22.23

To: Blaine

I don't even know why I texted that, but guess, what my wish was..

23.14

To: Blaine

Dammit, I have nothing else to say right now, than I'm sorry for what you heard and it's not what you think. And I'd really liked to talk with you because I have so much to tell you and god I really need you to listen.

6. August:

00.56

To: Blaine

I can't sleep.

* * *

"Give guy a break," Burt told Kurt next morning. "Let him be, he will talk to you. He can't ignore you forever."

"It just drives me mad," Kurt gushed dramatically as he forcefully hit the fork into the omelet. "That's completely not what I meant and I can't even tell him that. I mean, I could text him the whole story, but that's just.." Kurt shut up. He couldn't continue. He couldn't tell his father about the real reasons, why he tried to resist the urge to text Blaine the whole story. He couldn't.

And Burt didn't push. He just left it.

* * *

8. August:

13.17

To: Blaine

Okay, that's it. I can't stand it anymore and I can't wait until tomorrow, so I guess I don't have an option. I like you, Blaine. I like you a lot. And I didn't want to admit it at first, because the biggest crushes always end up with some kind of heartbreak for me and after that year, I don't like to share my feeling with anyone. But I like you and that's why I hanged out with you.

13.18

To: Blaine

That's why I came for movies and dinners and lunches and coffees. That's why. This is the whole story and I hate to tell this over some stupid text.

* * *

"Kurt," Burt said with a voice that meant bad news. It was Sunday afternoon, hours after Kurt's last text to Blaine. "Blaine called. He quit the work."

"Oh," Kurt's heart fell. That could only mean one thing..

Kurt knew that he wouldn't have much sleep tonight.

* * *

"So last time we met, we didn't have a chance to talk about that Blaine guy," Mercedes winked, as they were standing on the coffee line.

"There's nothing to talk about," Kurt signed sadly. "Besides, I don't think I'll ever see again anyway."

"What?" Mercedes exhaled. "Why? I thought you too were friends."

"Well you know me.. we are friends and we didn't talk to each other for two months."

"Oh."

"Yeah. 'Oh'. I'm good at pushing people away."

Mercedes's eyes narrowed weirdly.

"Well.. do you like him?"

Kurt swallowed before answering. He just wasn't sure, if it was safe to answer.

"Yes," Kurt said then, feeling his heart lighten up a little, since he could share it's heaviness.

"Like.. Really 'like'? Like boyfriend like?"

"Yes, Mercedes, like really like. I like him a lot. I had a hell of a year and the summer hadn't been any different, if there wasn't Blaine. You know my dad wanted me to see a psychologist and then we started hanging out and everything went so much better. I mean I liked him from the start, but it wasn't easy, since I've had some trust issues. And he's been the light in the dark. And now he heard me something.. really bad saying my dad, and he completely misunderstood it."

"Have you tried apologizing?"

"Yes, of course, but he doesn't answer my calls or my text."

"What about your feelings? Does he know about them?"

That's where Kurt's heart fell down, to a dark and lonely place that made it broke.

"Yes, he kind of does. I .. um, texted about them yesterday, but he didn't answer and then quit work, so here I am."

"Oh, Kurt," Mercedes signed with the sorry.

"So you can guess where it leaves me to," Kurt continued, very nearly crying. "God, it's like going through this crushing-Finn thing again. Starts with this friendship kind of thing and ends up with calling me fag and leaving me crying."

"I'm so sorry, Kurt," Mercedes said then as she pulled him into a hug.

"Sorry.." Kurt heard someone else whispering. He couldn't see who he was, until Mercedes let him go, so Kurt could turn and watch as Blaine was hurried outside.

"Oh my god, how long was he here?" Kurt almost hiccoughed.

Mercedes didn't answer, just simply watched at him at that was enough.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Oh god, Blaine was a horrible guy. He could stop beating himself up for what he had done to Kurt. He thought that Kurt had done something to him, but he had been just completely wrong and selfish. Blaine was so mad at himself that he just drove around for hours, thinking. He stopped the few times and picked up the phone, trying to send Kurt some kind of text, but his hands started shaking so badly and his mind was empty of words. Kurt had clearly had a horrible year and now, he, Blaine, had ruined his summer too.

He liked Kurt, he did, but he wasn't sure if he could really give Kurt what he wanted. Kurt was worth more than just friendship and Blaine wasn't sure, how he was feeling about that. He liked Kurt. But as it for now, it was just as a friend.

It was probably noon already, when his phone rang. So he stopped the car, tried to calm down a little, before answering.

"Hey, Blaine," Burt's friendly voice echoed, as it had nothing happened. "I just wanted to tell you that I left your paycheck to Finn's, so if you want that, you should probably go a get that."

"Uhm.." Blaine couldn't really make any words.

"He has a day off, so you should probably find him at home."

Damn it, Burt, Blaine thought. You really do have your ways to make people, what they don't want to do, don't you?

"Thanks Burt, I will."

"Okay then. Bye."

It was the goodbye, not just the end of Blaine's summer job, but also the goodbye to Burt, who has been a great teacher and leader to him over these last two months.

"Bye."

So he drove back to Lima, to Hummels-Hudsons house, praying that Kurt would still be out with Mercedes and wouldn't answer the door.

Blaine was really relieved, when it was Finn at the door.

"Oh, hey, man, Burt told me you would come over. Come in. I will go and find that check for you.."

Finn was gone with a second and Blaine was left alone in the living room, when he heard it.

He heard a beautiful, light voice singing, like angel. The Beatles song, 'Blackbird'. It came from the Kurt's room, he was sure.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night  
Take these broken wings and learn to fly  
All your life  
You were only waiting for this moment to arise"

Blaine's heart melted. Or swelled, he really couldn't tell. But it made it gabble, changing something in him, making it harder to breath.

„Blaine," he heard a girls voice suddenly, as the singing continued. „What are you doing here?" Mercedes asked.

„I.. uhm.." Blaine honestly forgot the reason, why he was there at the first place stupidly looking towards to the Kurt's room and then at Mercedes.

„Look, Blaine," Mercedes spoke then. „I don't hate you or anything, but the thing is, that Kurt has been through a hell. He had a hard year. Not because of that bullying and what happened with his father. Mostly, because he was lonely and he didn't let anybody else to help him. Did you know, that some kids made him a prom QUEEN?"

Blaine swallowed. Kurt hadn't really talked about anything, when it came to his school or this year..

„It's supposed to be joke, but it wasn't funny at all. He didn't even want to go this stupid prom, but the New Directions performed, so he didn't have much choice. So he was selected for the prom queen and I don't know how, but somehow he went up there and took the crown and.. he was just really brave. But the sad part is, that once he came down and music started, he didn't have anyone to dance with. He just stood there, while everybody else started dancing until he finally left. He was all alone."

Blaine was speechless, feeling more and more horrible. Because that's what he was – he was a horrible guy.

"What I'm trying to say Blaine, that you've done enough and I believe, that you can be sorry and everything, but it's just better, if you leave right now, before it gets worse. Kurt can't stand rejection. So just leave it.."

Blaine didn't say to Mercedes, that he was there because of that stupid pay check that he really didn't care about anyway. He didn't tell Mercedes, that he didn't go there to reject Kurt. And he didn't tell her, that now he was more confused about his feelings, than ever, so she just walked towards Kurt's room and closed the door as she went in. Blaine thought that Kurt wouldn't know that Blaine was there, hearing him sing for the very first time, and after that Blaine became more and more dubious about his feelings.

* * *

10. August:

2.56

To: Kurt

I need to talk with you.

* * *

Blaine was nervously sitting and waiting at Lima Bean. The text, he had sent at the night, was the only text he had sent. He wanted to tell something to Kurt, but not over the text or over the phone. It had to be said straight, so he could look into his eyes. Now he actually understood why Kurt didn't want to explain the confusion through the text earlier. So there Blaine was, sitting and hoping, that Kurt will come for coffee.

He waited a bit over an hour, before Kurt came. The boy entered with a tired look on his face, Mercedes by his side, probably trying to back him up. As soon, as they noticed each other, Blaine was on his feet, a cup of nonfat mocha for Kurt in his hands.

„Kurt," he spoke, but couldn't really say nothing more.

„Blaine," Kurt mumbled with a surprised tone in his voice.

And that was all none of them had said, because Blaine had thought about it all night, but he was still too nervous about his words, so he just grabbed gently Kurt's face with his free hand and pulled him close enough to press his lips to Kurt's.

It took a second, before Kurt realized what was happening and tugged Blaine closer, so they were melted into each other, not really caring if there were too many homophobic people in the shop. They ignored Mercedes, who was really confused, unable to do something. They kissed like they needed it more than air.

Of course, at some point they needed to breath, so they broke the kiss, but didn't let go of each other's faces as their foreheads and noses were in touch, both of them smiling shyly, feeling so much better, because the kiss said everything, that needed to be said.

"I'm s-so sorry, Kurt," Blaine startled, looking into Kurt's beautiful blue eyes. "I was such a jerk, I was so confused about my feelings and I didn't want to hurt you so quit the work, but now I was up all night and realized that I DO have feelings for you and I've been looking forever and oh my god I was such an jerk and I'm so sorry."

"I don't even care right now," Kurt signed as he pulled Blaine closer and they kissed again.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Kisses. A lot of sweet and sloppy kisses under the bright sunshine. Yes, Kurt thought, that's how the whole summer should have been. But hey, they had another month to keep that up.

So Kurt and Blaine were sitting at the park's swings, where they came, to talk, but neither of them hadn't said a word since the arriving. They had tugged each other's swings close enough to reach for the contact they needed.

"As much," Blaine mumbled between the kisses. "as I'd love to," kiss "to continue," kiss "we both," kiss "need air."

"You sure?" Kurt asked, as they didn't stop.

Blaine didn't answer, he just deepened the kiss. They were panting, when they finally broke the kiss. Their faces stayed close and hands were tangled.

"I don't think, that I will ever forgive myself," Blaine spoke into the silence.

"What?"

"Putting you through that hell with those past few days, just because I couldn't translate my own feelings."

Kurt smiled as he grabbed Blaine's hands tighter.

"Don't worry," Kurt said. "I know how it can be. It's not like I really understood mine nether." Kurt stopped for a second, before continuing. "The last week.. was really confusing to me. When I told my dad, that I had met Mercedes, he kind of.. promised me that, if I keep up with that.. social life kind of thing, he would let me off the hook with the work. And the first thing I thought about was that I really didn't want that, because work meant you. But as he allowed me to stay home on Monday I remembered, why I liked to stay all alone in my room all day at the first place. I guess that's when I realized how close we've become over these last weeks and I felt, like I should tell more about myself. You know.. about all that, what I don't want to talk about. And I kind of freaked out a little and that's why I was so upset, when my dad told me, that I would have to keep working."

Blaine was looking directly into Kurt's eyes.

"Just thought, that you should know, since I hadn't told you that part," Kurt added then. "But uhm, I didn't realize how much I really like you, until this weekend, when I understood, what is my life without you. And then I thought, that maybe I do trust you enough to talk about this year and this is were I actually got that.. feelings part.."

And now was Blaine the one, who smiled shyly. Kurt's throat was try and he couldn't say anything else.

"Do you mind walking?" he asked and stood up, giving Kurt his hand. Kurt let Blaine hold his hand carefully, as they walked through the park.

"I did care about you, a lot," Blaine said then and their eyes met once again. "But I was too busy with this fear to screw this up to actually look up to the truth." Blaine stopped walking. "And the truth is that I really wanted to do this." And he pressed his lips against Kurt's once again. Kurt smiled under Blaine's lips. "If you don't mind, I might start doing that a lot."

Kurt's stomach was filled with happy butterflies as he slowly started to understand, that this is how Blaine asked him to be his boyfriend.

"I think I don't."

They stood and kissed for a while as they both were really thankful for the fact, that the park was almost empty, so they didn't have deal with homophobic people. They were together and this moment was perfect and nothing else mattered.

"It's a great ending for these weird days."

"That's the polite statement," Blaine answers. "But yes, it is. We got each other out of it."

Kurt's smile grew even wider and he had to stop that, because he probably looked weird already.

"And by the way," Blaine continued, as they started walking again. "I don't want you to tell me anything about yourself, if you're not comfortable."

Kurt's phone started ringing and he had to let go of Blaine's hand as he found it in his pocket.

"Kurt, I know you're with Mercedes, but you still have to show up at the garage.." Burt's kind of angry voice echoed through the phone.

"Oh," Kurt signed and looked at Blaine with a sorry look. "Uhm, yes, sorry. I'll be there."

Kurt ended the call and stared at Blaine. "Do you have to garage?" Blaine asked. Kurt nodded, because words were still a little awkward between them. "Do you think that Burt will take me back?"

Kurt couldn't help but jump at Blaine and grab him into a hug. It was a bit surprising to Blaine, but he hugged back.

* * *

"Hi dad, sorry I'm late," Kurt hailed when they arrived to garage, hands still tangled together.

"Where the hell have you been?" Burt asked when he pulled his head, quite literally, out of the car's engine. Then he saw it. Boys, holding each other's hands and smiling brightly, as it would be the happiest day of their life.

"Sorry, " Kurt apologized again, as Burt looked at them hazily. "Where do you need me?"

"Uhm, I think Finn needs help," Burt answered, but didn't blink once.

Kurt was the one who had to let go of Blaine's had again as he walked over Finn, who had also been staring at them, leaving Blaine and Burt alone.

Kurt didn't hear over the drill, that one of the usual workers used behind them, what Blaine and Burt said to each other, but when they started working over the car together, Kurt concluded, that Blaine was hired again.

* * *

Burt asked Blaine to join their family usual dinner, when they closed the shop. Kurt was little frightened of that idea at first, so Blaine doubted, when he saw Kurt's reaction.

"Of course you should come," Kurt said then, with a lot more confidence.

"You sure, you're okay with it?" Blaine asked and his worry made Kurt's heart swell. "I mean, I don't want you to be uncomfortable, we all remember how the last dinner ended."

"Yes of course, I'm okay," Kurt assured and realized then, that Burt was watching, and listening them talk, since he wasn't so far away from them.

So it was settled. Kurt and Blaine drove with silence in Blaine's car, since Kurt hadn't used his this day and Burt and Finn drove in Burt's car. No one needed to say anything, Kurt's day had been filled with happiness, he wasn't even sure, if this was reality. He wondered, if he's just stuck in some kind of dream. He really didn't want this dream to end.

When they sat by the table, Blaine, Finn and Burt started talking about the football again. Although, it felt a lot like the last time, that Blaine had been there, Kurt didn't really mind. This time Kurt was really busy with smiling, just like Carole, as he allowed himself to look Blaine.

"So are you two like a..couple now?" Finn asked.

Kurt choke. "Wow, Finn," he coughed. "You really do now how to ask stuff, don't you?"

Blaine chuckled, clearly trying not to start laughing. The awkwardness of this situation lasted.

"Well, are you?" Burt asked as well and Carole shot him a disapproval look.

"Dad, you're making this kind of awkward," Kurt answered blushing and ignored looking at Blaine.

"I think," Blaine said then with a voice full of confident. "It's safe to say, that we are."

Kurt smiled and turned for a second to look at his boyfriend, who smiled back to him and took his hand to hold.

* * *

"As I have to admit," Blaine told that night at the doorstep, about to head home, when they said goodbye. "This was a really beautiful and happy day, I hadn't sleep in days so I'm probably going to fall for my bed as soon as I get home."

"I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way," Kurt laughed and leaned on the door.

"I'll call you in the morning. Or text you. I'll pick you up, then buy you a coffee and then we'll head to the garage, if it's okay to you."

"Sounds lovely."

With that, Blaine moved closer to Kurt and kissed him tenderly. And Kurt kissed back. He had kind of missed that from the morning. It was a sweet goodbye kiss, that unfortunately had to end.

"See you in the morning, Kurt," Blaine smiled then, still close to his face.

"Goodnight."

Blaine pulled away and turned to his car, as Kurt watched him go. This night, a nice sleep was granted for both of them.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Hey," Blaine smiled, when Kurt opened the door on Saturday.

"Hey yourself," Kurt smiled back and let him in.

"Missed you," Blaine said as he pulled Kurt to a hello kiss.

It seemed that every kiss was initiated by Blaine. He didn't really mind, but now he started wondering, if there was any specific reason for that. What if Kurt didn't like all this kissing and closeness? What if he wasn't comfortable? That would have made sense, considering what he'd been through.

Kurt dragged him to the living room, they sat on the sofa and Kurt put on a Broadway musical. As they watched it, Kurt lifted himself, slowly starting to rely against Blaine, until Blaine put his arm around Kurt and tugged him closer, so Kurt head was on Blaine's shoulder. It wasn't the most comfortable position for neither of them, but Blaine could fee Kurt's breathing that way and that was really relaxing.

"Where are everybody else?" Blaine asked, when he realized how oddly quiet the house was.

"Finn is out with Rachel, Carole is running some errands and Burt didn't find anything better to do, than spend more time at the garage."

Blaine smiled at that. Burt was always kind of restless soul and it seemed to Blaine, that Kurt would be too, if he hadn't been through this depression. Was he getting better? Blaine couldn't really say.

Almost half an hour later, someone's car pulled by the house and Kurt straightened up. "It's my dad," he mumbled.

A minute later, Burt entered the house, to Blaine's surprise, Finn and a brown haired girl behind him. Blaine concluded, that it was Rachel, Finn's girlfriend. Kurt had also noticed that. Blaine could tell, that Kurt became weirdly intense, when he saw them.

"Hey," Burt said, when they walked to the living room. "Finn's car broke down, so I brought them here for a while, if it's okay."

Kurt swallowed. Hard.

"Blaine, do you mind, if we stop watching and go to my room?" he asked then, with a high and nervous tone.

Blaine froze for a second. The idea of him and Kurt being in Kurt's room seemed a little awkward. But it shouldn't be weird, he told himself. It's just not a comfort zone yet.

"Sure," Blaine almost whispered.

Blaine followed Kurt to his room, leaving Finn, Rachel and Burt behind, who all looked at them with suspicious looks, until they were out of sight.

"Classy," was all that Blaine could really say, when they stepped into the room. Beige walls and furniture of dark wood.

"I'm sorry," Kurt signed, still talking nervously when he finally closed the door. "You've probably figured out yourself, that me and Rachel don't really get along.."

Blaine smiled a bit, just pulling the corners of his mouth up. Kurt rambled and walked a little too far away from him.

"Kurt," Blaine said with a warm tone and walked closer to him. "It's okay. I get it."

Kurt's face lighted up a little with relief when Blaine rubbed gently his right hand's thumb over Kurt's cheek as he held boy's face. Kurt's eyes darkened a bit when Blaine looked directly into them.

"Besides, I'm more than sure, that you know those Broadway musicals by heart anyway and you have those records somewhere right here."

Kurt smiled and pulled away from Blaine's hand. Blaine felt a little disappointed and tried not to take it personally. He is just finding some music, Blaine repeated in his head and looked for distraction with looking around the room. He notices the picture on the night table by the bed.

"Is this your mum?" he asked as he took the frame to take a better look. Blaine knew that Kurt's mother died, when he eight. Surprisingly, this was something that Kurt had told him about. Blaine wondered if talking about his mother just didn't hurt so much anymore or if Kurt had told him that just to clarify this weird family situation.

Kurt looked up at from his loudspeakers from the other side of the room to see, what Blaine asks about.

"Oh, yes," he answered just when he turned his ipod in with some quiet music.

"You look a lot like her."

Kurt smiled a bit sadly when he walked over to bed. Blaine was surprised, how close he actually came.

"My dad keeps repeating that," Kurt said and took the picture in his hand. "He says that I remind him her every day. Or at least I used to.." With that, Kurt put the picture down and looked at Blaine, who can't help but feel confused and uncomfortable. "I'm sorry," Kurt apologized when he somehow understood Blaine's feelings and sat down to the bed. Blaine sat next to him. "There just a lot I should tell you about, but the more I think about it, the more I'm afraid, that you will understand, how big mess up you're dating with."

"Hey, stop right there," Blaine swallowed, as the words didn't want to come out easily. It wasn't the easiest thing to talk about, since they usually ignored that theme. "You're not a mess up, you've had some rough time. And I told you: I don't want you to tell me anything, you don't feel comfortable with."

Kurt smiled lightly again.

"You just gonna have to.. take these broken wings and learn to fly," Blaine almost whispered then and regretting it immediately.

Kurt frowned a little, but it didn't stop the smile.

"Actually, if we're already talking about that.. I would like to ask something," Blaine said then, hoping that Kurt would just ignore his whisper.

Kurt's smiled disappeared immediately.

"No, don't worry," Blaine added quickly, when he saw Kurt's expression. "It's nothing bad. It's just that, I've had a great couple of days and I know, that we're not supposed to feel completely comfortable with this closeness yet and I understand, that it may be hard for you after your.. past but I'm starting to wonder, if I should.. back off a little?"

"Back off?" Kurt asked a few seconds later, when had looked at Blaine with a confused look. "By closeness, you mean like.. kissing?"

Blaine nodded carefully.

"Oh, no, Blaine, no," Kurt said then. "No, no. That's not what it is. No, no."

"You know, that I wouldn't be mad.." Blaine tried to say, but Kurt moved so fast, that Blaine couldn't even realize it, until their lips were clued.

"I'm comfortable," Kurt panted and held Blaine's face close. It kind of became their thing: the face holding, trying to express caring, when they didn't know how to put it into words. "I mean, yes, it's a bit awkward to me, because I've become like.. really shy, which is so not, what used to be.. But no, I'm not uncomfortable or anything. And that Karofsky's thing is nothing like this. It's almost a forgotten case. So no, unless you don't want it, you don't have to back off."

Blaine felt relieved with that, so much better and smiled. He brought Kurt's face closer to kiss him again, but then they realized that they are sitting on Kurt's bed and it's not really appropriate.

"But still," Kurt said when they broke apart and fell down to the bed to lie. "I should tell you more about myself, it's actually really selfish of me to keep that all to myself, when we agreed on being boyfriends."

Blaine shrugged to that. It was probably the first time, that Kurt had used to word 'boyfriend' to describe him.

"I mean," Kurt continued. "You haven't even heard me sing. Oh god, you haven't heard me sing. You're probably going to broke up with me, when you'll hear me sing."

"What?" Blaine exhaled and leaned on his elbow, so he could look down to Kurt. "That's completely ridiculous."

"I sing like a girl."

"You do not."

Kurt frowned to that. "How would you know? I mean, yes, we've probably met each other at the competition before, but I'm sure, that my voice was just melted to the background. And I don't recall actually singing around you. I actually haven't sing at all over this summer.."

"Well that's not true," Blaine said. With that, he was busted.

Kurt looked at him demandingly. So Blaine just gave up.

"Yeah, about that Beatles verse before.." Blaine signed. "I heard you singing 'Blackbid' on Monday."

"What?"

"Burt sent me here to take my last paycheck, I'm sure he did it on purpose but so I came here and waited Finn to find it and you were singing here.."

"That's so embarrassing. I mean I heard you ringing the doorbell and I wondered who you are, but I thought it was just one of Finn's friends who stopped by or something.." Kurt said with a rush under his breath and blushed.

"Believe me, it's should be nothing but embarrassing," Blaine assured. Kurt gave him a questionable look. "That was actually the reason, why I started to wonder, if I have feelings for you.."

Kurt was silent, just gazing at Blaine.

"God, that must have been the cheesiest line I've ever said."

Kurt laughed, actually laughed at that, not just smiled. Blaine had heard him laugh only few times before, so it was nice to hear that again. Kurt pulled Blaine down to a lovely kiss and Blaine decided not to bring up what Mercedes had told him that day..


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"So Kurt," Tina asked as soon as she, Mercedes and Kurt sat down for a coffee on Monday morning. He hadn't seen Tina all summer. Well, Kurt hadn't seen really anyone from the Glee club during the summer, except Finn, Rachel during her Finn visits, Mercedes and Sam. "I heard that you finally have a boyfriend."

Kurt shot a disapproving look at Mercedes.

"Oh, don't look at me," Mercedes said then. "Blame it on Rachel. The whole Glee club got so many calls about how she ran into Blaine on Saturday, who happens to be a lead singer of Warblers, that I think some of us just turned their phones off for Sunday."

Kurt couldn't help, but laugh.

"So it's true?" Tina enquired. "You're dating with the lead singer of Warblers?"

"Oh, girl, it's true," Mercedes hailed. "If you had only seen the makeup session, they put up right in this shop last week.."

"Oh, god," Kurt groaned.

"Talking about me again?" a different voice suddenly echoed behind them. Kurt jerked a little as he turned around to see Blaine.

"Well good morning," Kurt said and leaned for a little sweet kiss. "So you haven't met Tina yet.."

"Hey."

Tina smiled and waved over his coffee.

"Nice. At least I know for sure, that you dump for girls not boys," Blaine laughed. They had to skip their traditional morning coffee again, so Kurt could meet up with Tina and Mercedes.

"I didn't dump you."

"I know, I'm just teasing," Blaine smiled and gently ran his fingers through Kurt's hair. Kurt could hear Tina and Mercedes quite 'aww's. "But I'd better hurry up now. Inversely to you, I don't have a morning off."

"See you later."

"It was nice seeing you all," Blaine almost bowed with politeness, turned around and left in a hurry.

Kurt turned back to Tina and Mercedes who smiled at him happily. They were happy for him. It was a short moment, when Kurt thought about loneliness but didn't feel it.

"So Mercedes," Kurt said finally, when he started to feel awkward because this staring. "Dare to explain, who the hell is Shane?"

"Ow," Mercedes swallowed. "Right."

"Spill it girl," Tina and Kurt demanded immediately and laughed.

* * *

Blaine and Kurt were lying on Kurt's bed again, staring at the ceiling, a soft melodies played on the background. They were too exhausted of work to really say anything. So they were just lying there, hands tangled together.

"What are you thinking of?" Kurt asked, when he had felt Blaine's eyes on him for quite a long time.

"This week," Blaine answered. "It's been a wonderful week."

"Yeah it is," Kurt smiled and turned his head to look at Blaine too. "Of course, if we don't count the previous Monday.."

Blaine laughed quietly. "No, I don't." They were silent again for a second. Blaine slowly stood up a little, leaning on his elbow and started carefully stroke Kurt's hair. Kurt relaxed on that, still drowning into Blaine's golden eyes.

"Tomorrow is kind of our anniversary," Blaine said then. Kurt couldn't help but chuckle sarcastically. "One week."

"If I would had heard you saying it about an year ago, I would had smiled on that, really stupidly, but right now I try not to laugh out loud."

"You can laugh out loud," Blaine mumbled. "I even won't get mad."

So Kurt laughed, not much louder than usually, but just laughed a little. And then the silence hit again. It wasn't the right time to discuss music or something random like this, it was time for silence or.. confessions.

"Remember when I said, that Karofsky was my first kiss?" Kurt asked a moment later.

"Mhm."

"Well, it's not technically true.."

Blaine froze and stopped the hair touching.

"See.. I dated this girl.. Brittany for like a week.."

"What?"

"My dad and Carole had just started dating, and he tried to bond with Finn, so I was kind of jealous. I tried to act like more.. straight and Brittany.. is not the smartest girl, plus she used to like to fool around a lot. So we dated. Like for an week or so. And of course, we kissed."

"For a week?"

"Yeah."

"What an irony.."

Blaine dropped down on his back and stared the ceiling again.

"It wasn't.. this year. It was on my sophomore year, I was struggling with coming out back then."

"Oh, wow, you kissed a girl.." Blaine hissed, so Kurt barely heard him. "I didn't see THAT coming.."

"But I don't consider it as my first kiss because.. well because Brittany is still a girl."

Blaine laughed again and turned back to Kurt's head.

"Maybe I should change my plans I had for celebrating this one week anniversary," he joked.

"Oh, shut up." Kurt gently punched Blaine's shoulder as he rolled in laugh.

"But actually," Blaine coughed, when he stopped laughing. "I do have plans for us tomorrow."

"Yeah?"

"In the morning, when I saw you with Mercedes and Tina, I realized that you actually haven't seen none of MY friends. So you can say no, but I was wondering if you would want to come to Westerville with me tomorrow and meet two of them."

"Two of them as like.. Wes and David?" Kurt wondered. Blaine had told him a lot about his life and friends in Dalton, so Kurt knew a little about Blaine's closest friends.

"Yes," Blaine smiled. He probably didn't believe, that Kurt would remember those names.

"Sure, why not," Kurt answered, but slowly starting to get nervous inside.

* * *

They met up next morning and although celebrating the one week anniversary was a joke, Blaine still kissed him as soon as they walked into the coffee shop, just like he had done a week ago.

A day in the garage was quite usual. Kurt knew, that Burt was watching him and Blaine really intensively, when they worked closely, so they didn't have a chance to kiss every time they wanted to. These kisses were just part of them now: light and simple, which kept them close, expressing and reminding each other their feelings. It wasn't something too big or intimate.

Kurt asked Burt to leave an hour before the closing and since there weren't many clients left anyway, Burt didn't mind. They drove to Kurt's house, so Kurt could change, and then sat into Blaine's car.

"I thought we were going to Westerville?" Kurt asked, when he realized that they weren't driving in the right direction.

"Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you," Blaine answered. "Change of plans: since Wes or David couldn't come up with some good place to hang in Westerville, we just decided to meet at my house."

"You don't live in Westerville?" Kurt was surprised. Blaine actually hadn't mentioned, where he lived, but Kurt had automatically assumed that.

"No, it's just Dalton there. I actually live quite close to Lima.."

They were quiet again, only radio playing quietly on the background. That's when it finally hit Kurt:

"We're going to your house?"

Although Kurt tried to hide it, Blaine obviously sensed the panic in Kurt's voice.

"Is it a problem?" he question and turned away from the road for a second to look at Kurt.

"Uhm, no," Kurt mumbled. He was enough nervous because of the fact, that he's going to meet Blaine's best friends, but this is where the panic started to kick in. You should be happy, Kurt told himself. You can finally see Blaine's house, if you're extra lucky, maybe even his room. But that didn't help at all

"Seriously, Kurt," Blaine asked a few seconds later, when Kurt didn't say anything else. "If it's not okay to you, we can turn around and hang at your place or something.."

"No, no," Kurt, surprisingly rushed to say. "It's okay, I promise. I'm just a little nervous."

"Why?" Blaine looked really confused and Kurt hesitated, before confessing.

"Because, it's kind of a big thing, not that it would be bad. I just feel like.. I'm learning to know a new part of your life and it's kind of scary."

"We don't have to.."

"No, it's fine. I want to, I do. It just makes believe more, that I should tell you.. you know.. more about myself."

"Kurt, we've been through this," Blaine signed then. Kurt wondered, if he got tired of this. "I told you, I don't want you to tell anything, you're not comfortable with." Blaine tried looking into Kurt's eyes, probably to prove his words some way, but as he was still driving, it wasn't really possible. "Besides, this is more like me feeling, like I'm a part of your everyday life, but you don't even know where I live. I was afraid, that you would feel like I'm not bringing you into my life.."

"Where did you get that idea?"

Blaine stilled, before answering. "David.."

And that was enough for Kurt to understand the crazy mind of Blaine's. He knew, that Blaine was really close to these guys and somehow it made sense..

"Please tell me, that your parents aren't at least home."

Blaine laughed. "No, they won't be back until later. I wouldn't introduce you to my friends AND my parents at the same day. Even I would be wreck by now then.."


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Make yourself at home," Blaine mumbled, quite quietly for some reason, when they walked into the house.

"Geez, Blaine, I don't think that you can come to my house anymore.." Kurt said as he walked in.

"What? Why not?" A little panic attack rushed over Blaine, but Kurt just laughed at that.

"Because compared to this house.. mine is like an McDonald's."

"Oh, shut up. It's not that.. fancy." Blaine calmed himself down and slowly realized how ridiculous his panic was.

"I know, but since you can afford Dalton, I kind of expected a castle."

"Ouch," Blaine smiled and leaned closer to his boyfriend. "Are you sorry for realizing, that your boyfriend isn't rich?"

"A little," Kurt teased back and Blaine planted a soft kiss on his lips. It took a moment, before Blaine realized that they were kissing.. in Blaine's hallway. Maybe it felt a little awkward, but still nice.

"Are you still interested for seeing the rest of the house?" Blaine asked with a wide grin as he pulled away.

Kurt shrugged. "If I have to."

* * *

"This is your room?" Kurt really sounded surprised.

"Something wrong with that?"

Kurt stepped closer to the shelf of trophies and gently touched them. "No," he answered with the same soft tone, he always used, when he was calm. Blaine wondered if he was really calm by now, or if he was just acting. "But you sure were right. That room makes me realize that there's really is a huge part of you, that I know nothing about..."

Something little died in Blaine that moment. Or maybe in Kurt too, Blaine thought, since he didn't say anything for a long time.

"A little champion, aren't we?" Kurt winked then and turned away from the trophies and noticed the hair product by the mirror.

"Privet school stuff," Blaine just mumbled, but he wasn't sure if Kurt even tried to listen to him, because the bottles of hair product had attracted Kurt.

"Wow, Blaine. You use awfully lot of hair gel," Kurt said, when he finally put the bottle down.

"You have no idea,."

Carefully, really slowly, Blaine stepped closer to him, not really sure, what he was going to do, but feeling the need to use some privacy. Sure, they've been all alone in the house before, but the fact, that this time it was Blaine's home, not Kurt's, changed something in him. He really tried not to act by his teenager's hormones. This wasn't the right time and they both knew that: they've been together only for a week and clearly Kurt was still having minor problems with this closeness thing, even though he was improving.

Kurt noticed that, but Blaine couldn't understand his eyes, if he was getting more nervous or excited.

"When will the guys come?" Kurt asked with a shaky voice. Well, now it was clear: Kurt surely was nervous, but was if this was because of the fact, that he was going to meet Wes and David, or because Blaine's steps were just suspiciously slow.

"They should be here by now, but I guess they're late. Their timing has always been bad."

Blaine changed softer and kindly pulled Kurt closer, trying to be caring and hide what was his mind: a fantasy of them making out. Kurt was nervous, if not close to panic: Blaine could feel Kurt's heart race, so he took other boy's face and held it gently, to look directly into his eyes.

"You're nervous." It was a sure statement, but Kurt didn't look surprised. He didn't ask Blaine, how he'd knew that. He stayed the same, just nodded. "Don't be."

Kurt smiled lightly, probably trying to say something, but didn't find the words. So Blaine did what he liked to do the most, when it came to Kurt: kissed him. To think about it, he did kiss him a lot in these tiny moments, but this felt like something bigger. Blaine reminded himself, that it shouldn't feel like that. The kiss was deeper and more intimate than usually. Now Blaine could feel his own kind of painful heartbeats, but didn't stop. They kept kissing, until they didn't have any air left in their lungs. But as usual, they didn't break away immediately, but stayed, forehead and noses touching.

"Do you want to sit down?" Blaine asked slightly pointing to the bed. Kurt froze for a moment and Blaine was about to say sorry, when something Kurt changed as he nodded surely.

So they sat by the bed, arms still linked and faces still close. They sat like that, eyes closed, for a while, until Blaine leaned to kiss again. The kiss turned into much like the precious one: deep and passionate and they tried to get even closer, by grabbing each other's arms and pulling the bodies. Blaine thought about how inappropriate it probably still was, considering the fact that Kurt probably even shouldn't be so comfortable with that. But Kurt didn't stop, and for a second it seemed to Blaine, that it was Kurt, who tried to make it more intimate. A second later, Blaine realized that somehow, he wasn't sure how, Kurt had gotten to his lap, his hands on Blaine's shoulders gripping the shirt he was wearing, boy's legs around Blaine's torso and pulling each other against, still kissing hardly, if not roughly and hungrily. Blaine felt himself getting hard and he started to panic. Now it was sure that the lines were crossed too much by now and he was about to try breaking off, when the doorbell rang.

Kurt pulled away with an annoying look on his face and rolled his eyes, both of them were panting. Although Blaine was relieved, he still couldn't help but feel disappointed.

"You were right," Kurt said, when he could finally catch the breath. "They do have a bad timing."

Blaine laughed lightly, also trying to breath normally again. "There's always the next time," he winked weakly and the doorbell rang again. With that, Kurt moved away from Blaine's lap.

Blaine stood up, hoping that the blush on his cheeks wasn't something too obvious for his friends and walked downstairs to open the door.

"Hey hobbit!" Wes and David yelled at the same time and literally attacked Blaine as they shifted him off the ground. "Haven't seen for a long time."

They didn't put Blaine down until they were safely in the hallway.

"Where the hell have you been?" David asked.

"Dude, are you blushing? Why are you blushing?" Wes questioned also. The questions were too fast, leaving to time for Blaine to answer.

"Aww, Blushy Blaine," David laughed.

"Oh, shut up," Blaine signed, his mind was still his bedroom. "I told you, I got a job, I've been busy."

"You must be Kurt," Wes exhaled suddenly, his eyes light open and gazing the stairs. Blaine turned around to see Kurt standing at the top of the stairs, lightly smiling. He slowly stepped down.

"I've heard a lot about you," he said calmly as he shook David's hand and Blaine wondered how he managed to look so.. elegant.

"Oh and we've heard about you too," Wes laughed and shook Kurt's hand. Blaine really wanted to hit Wes at this moment.

"Wes, is it just me, or is Kurt also blushing?" David asked then. Kurt's eyes widened, Blaine's probably too.

"Oh my god, why are you both blushing?"

"Is that something to do with the reason why we had to wait so long, before you opened to door?"

"Oh, shut up, both of you," Blaine said, and really hit David's arm this time. He tried to stay calm as Kurt, but he felt his cheeks flush even more. "Let's find something to eat."

"So Kurt," David said with his food in his mouth. "Blaine tells me that you almost transferred to Dalton. What changed your mind?"

Blaine wanted to slap David. because clearly, there wasn't any filter between David's mouth and brain. He should have never told them about that. Kurt looked up at Blaine with a light fear in his eyes as Blaine tried to mount his sorry.

"David don't you think it's kind of personal?" Wes muttered when he noticed the silent socializing between Blaine and Kurt.

"Sorry," David mumbled.

"It's okay," Kurt smiled to Blaine's surprise. "It's just that the only way my family could afford it would have canceled my dad's honeymoon and I didn't agree with it.."

David nodded and left that by asking questions about the New Directions.

"I'm so sorry," Blaine almost whispered later, when David and Wes started arguing about something unimportant. "I swear, that's all I told them."

"Don't worry," Kurt shrugged carelessly but Blaine wondered, if David's question had made Kurt feel like he couldn't trust him. He apologized more, when he drove Kurt back to Lima and Kurt always said it was okay, but Blaine couldn't stop feeling sorry.

"Blaine," Kurt said with a really deep voice before leaving the car. "They clearly didn't know about me more, than they should have. I mean, that would explain the question David asked. And it's totally okay, it's nothing I'm hiding anyway.." He kissed Blaine, almost just as deeply and passionately like they kissed in Blaine's bedroom before, but this time it lasted just for a few seconds. Blaine relaxed and smiled.


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Kurt got really used Blaine being around all the time. It was easy, when they spent so much time together: Blaine picked Kurt up in the mornings and drove them to the coffee shop. After that they spent most of the day working, which wasn't the easiest part of the day, since Burt started to give them tasks that kept them apart. After work they usually ended up at Hummel-Hudson's residence, if they didn't have plans for a movie and a dinner at Breadstix. Kurt learned to enjoy Blaine's kisses and hand holding. So it was the middle of August, when he decided, that now was the time, when he felt completely fine with telling Blaine a little more about the things, they never talked about. Maybe he wouldn't tell everything in one conversation. Kurt wasn't sure anyway, which events were important enough to talk about.

It was a quiet Sunday evening and since Blaine's parents were out of town for the weekend, they used his house to enjoy the silence and privacy they had for each other. Kurt was a little nervous of an idea of two of them being alone in Blaine's house again, although he had enjoyed the last time. They did end up close, but just cuddling in the living room's sofa. They planned to watch some tv, but nether of them didn't have any idea, what was on, because they only had eyes for each other.

"Can I.. tell you something?" Kurt said quietly into the silence. Blaine startled lightly, probably just didn't expect to hear Kurt's voice. "It's about.. the things we agreed not to talk about."

"Kurt.." Blaine swallowed, but Kurt didn't even let him start.

"I know, that you said, that you don't want me to tell you anything, that I'm not comfortable with, but the truth is, I AM comfortable about this and I do want to talk about it, so I could just get it out, forget it and move on. And I believe that you have a right to know more about me."

Blaine's magically golden eyes looked into Kurt's, like he was trying to find out, if Kurt really meant his words.

"Okay," Blaine nodded then and Kurt tried to move even closer to him, almost sitting on Blaine's lap and gently brushed his own hand over boy's neck.

"So I thought I should tell you more about me and Finn.." Kurt started and felt Blaine's sudden gaze on him. "Do you remember that Monday morning, when you heard me and Mercedes talking about you in the coffee line?"

Blaine nodded again. "Something about you had a crush on him?"

Kurt laughed lightly, feeling embarrassed. He didn't like admitting that.

"Yeah," Kurt groaned as he put his chin on Blaine's shoulder. "It was in our.. sophomore year, before our parents started dating. I got pushed around back then a lot and he was like.. the first one, who actually kind of.. tried to stop it I guess? Like he hung around with the jocks and after another push he asked one of the guys to back off, but that was it."

"What a gentleman," Blaine puffed and Kurt hid his face onto Blaine's shoulder. It was the first time, they actually were so close. Sure, they've hugged before, but not so comfortably. "Sorry," Blaine said then, when Kurt didn't continue for long time.

"It's fine, you can laugh," Kurt muffled. "That's the funny part anyway." With that, Blaine shut up completely.

"Ironically, I was the one who set up our parents at the school's parents meeting. I wanted to get closer to him, which was actually a ridiculous move. Things got a little more serious, when our parents wanted to move in. I guess I got too close to him and he freaked out. We had to share a room and after I had designed it with stuff, that.. were more about me than about him, he like exploded and yelled at me and called me fag."

Blaine looked at Kurt's face with a sorry, but Kurt just shrugged.

"My dad heard that and so he ended it and we made up later, but things always remained.. heavy and difficult. I mean we where supposed to brothers now, but how was that possible, after he had called me a fag? I got over the crush with a broken heart. It was a painful lesson learnt."

"You know, that he shouldn't have yelled at you? It's not your fault.." Blaine interrupted suddenly. Kurt felt his heart melting of Blaine's caring.

"Yeah I know, but it's not like it's completely his fault nether. I had some problems with respecting his personal space you know.. But anyway, when our parents got married in November, we improved again. Things with Karofsky were really bad then, it was just after the kiss and the death treat, so Finn put up this long and really sweet speech at the wedding, of how amazing I am and how he will protect me for now on and god, we even danced, which was actually a little weird considering the past.. So I guess we're fine now. I mean, we still disagree on pretty much everything, but we are just as fine, as we can be."

Blaine smiled at that and nuzzled his face into Kurt's hair. He could do that now, when Kurt head was still on his shoulder. They stayed like that for a long time, saying nothing. Kurt was finished with talking and Blaine probably didn't find anything reasonable to say, still trying to understood everything he had just heard.

It was then, when they both heard the car pulling in the driveway. They both froze, unable to move, eyes suddenly wide open with fear.

"Shit," Blaine mumbled and tried to find his phone from his pocket to look at the time. Kurt straightened himself up and looked at the direction of the hallway. "I had no idea, that it's so late already."

"Your parents?" Kurt asked with a shaky voice, looking at Blaine, although he already knew the answer. Blaine nodded.

"Okay, Kurt, I don't think you have a choice," Blaine said then with a rushed tone. "But don't worry, they know that we're dating and they already like you from the things I've told them about you.."

Kurt felt unsure, suddenly really nervous and wishing, he didn't have to face it.

"And I know, I said that they weren't really accepting at first, but they are fine now, so please, don't try to freak out."

_Right_, Kurt thought. _You had to remind__ me__THAT__._But Kurt just nodded and they stood up as they heard someone walking in. Kurt wasn't sure, if he could stand normally and seemed like, Blaine understood that. He put his arm around Kurt and they slowly started walking toward the hallway.

"Oh, hi honey," Ms. Anderson said, as she noticed them. It took a moment before she realized that Blaine wasn't alone. Then she froze as she smiled.

Blaine waited for his father to walk in, before he tried to say anything. Kurt could feel Blaine's breath, ready to open his mouth, but his mother cut him off.

"You must be Kurt," she said and stepped closer to take Kurt's hand in hers. "It's great to finally meet you." Ms. Anderson stepped back and Mr. Anderson took her place.

"We've heard quite a lot about you," Mr. Anderson said, glancing at his son. Kurt started to wonder, what exactly Blaine had told them.

"Nice to meet you too," Kurt swallowed hardly, barely getting words out. He was surely less nervous now, but still not really calm.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?" Ms. Anderson said when the weird silence followed. "I don't have any strength to cook it myself, but we will probably order pizza or something.."

"Uhm, no thank you," Kurt answered, being a little surprised of an offer. "I should go home, my family is probably waiting."

"Oh," Ms. Anderson signed. "Maybe next time."

"Yeah, maybe next time."

"Well, we'll leave you two then," Mr. Anderson stated then and dragged his wife to kitchen, leaving Blaine and Kurt alone in the hallway.

"Are you sure you have to go?" Blaine whined and put his another arm around Kurt too, their foreheads touching. Kurt let his hands fall onto Blaine's arms which felt weirdly nice.

"I'd love to stay, but my dad is probably worried for now anyway."

Blaine groaned. "I thought that the social life thing was what he wanted."

"It is, but I don't think that spending the whole day with my boyfriend in an empty house is what he actually meant."

Blaine laughed. "Well, there was nothing he should have been worried about _this time_, isn't there?"

Kurt stared at Blaine, suddenly feeling surprised and awkward. He hoped that they would never bring up, what happened the last time they were there.

"Sorry," Blaine signed then. "I'm a jerk who knows nothing about boundaries."

Kurt laughed then too, feeling the awkwardness of this situation fading.

"You're not a jerk," he said. "And to be honest, I know nothing about boundaries too, because we haven't really set ones."

Blaine stroked gently Kurt's chin with his right hand. Kurt really started to like those sweet moments, because that made him feel.. wanted and maybe even.. loved? These moments were the reason, why felt so comfortable around Blaine: these moments weren't too much, but enough for intimacy. And Blaine didn't hold back with those.

"I'll text you before bed," Blaine uttered quietly and closed the gap between their lips.

"See you in the morning," Kurt mumbled as he broke away and let go his hands that he has been holding the whole time.

"Kurt," Blaine stopped Kurt from stepping outside. "Thank you for telling me about.. you and Finn."

Kurt smiled. "Thank you for listening."


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

It was a week before Kurt's junior year started, when he enjoyed the Saturday with Mercedes at the mall. He hadn't bought new clothes for himself for a long time, so it felt good to be back. Slowly Kurt realized how happy and relaxed he could feel around Mercedes, without any pressure. Of course he felt great around Blaine too, but this felt different. Kurt had really missed his friendship with Mercedes. He loved the mall also, but since he was closed to people for months, he hadn't come here.

„Aren't you excited about this year?" Mercedes asked him, when they sat down to eat some lunch.

That's when Kurt realized, that even though he wasn't really depressed anymore, there still wasn't anything to look forward to, when it came to his junior year. He had no idea what to do with his future after high school, what colleges to apply for. He was still just as gay as always, so he probably will still be bullied. And.. now he realized that he probably won't see Blaine every day.

„Yeah, I know," Mercedes signed to Kurt's silence, when he couldn't find an answer. „I mean, this year will be cool now, when I have Shane, but what will happen next. I mean, I have no plans for college and even if I had, what would happen with me and Shane?"

This is what Kurt hadn't even thought about. What will happen with him and Blaine, when they'll decide to move too far away from each other after high school ? Kurt was aware of the fact, that he was probably naive, because he knew, that there was quite big possibility for them to break up. Kurt had seen, how these relationships are complicated and he had witnessed too many break up's in Glee club. So that made him worry even more.

„Kurt, are you okay?" Mercedes questioned suddenly, when he tried to find Kurt's gaze. „You look pale."

„Oh, yeah, I'm okay," Kurt answered, although he knew that Mercedes knew, that it was a lie.

„You're thinking about Blaine, don't you?"

Kurt looked up to the girl and smiled. He liked how Mercedes knew him so well, that she could almost read his mind. Or maybe he was just too obvious.

„It's just that.. Blaine was the one who basically brought me back to life over these two months. I can't imagine what happens when he disappears."

Mercedes understood, he could tell.

„Look, Kurt I know that you guys have been dating like only.. three weeks for now, but I can tell that you mean a lot to him and I can assure you that he won't disappear, even though he doesn't go to the same school.."

„No, it's not just that," Kurt interrupted with kind of shaky voice. „If I've ever learned anything about relationships, than I've learned, that in high school, they don't last for long. And I think that when we are apart, there's just a bigger chance for things to go wrong.."

Mercedes just nodded, trying to say something, but wasn't sure what.

* * *

„You okay?" Blaine's voice came so suddenly, it almost made Kurt jump, although in reality it wasn't really possible, since they sat on Kurt's sofa again, curled up to each other. Everything was just so quiet before that question: Finn was in his room and Burt and Carole were out, so the only thing they could really hear was each other's breathing and the tv, what nether on them probably wasn't even watching again. „You're really quiet today."

„Oh, yes, I'm okay," Kurt answered with not so convincing tone.

"You sure?" Blaine asked more. "What are you thinking about?"

Kurt bit his lip, but decided that Blaine should need to hear the truth.

"Us," he said and pulled away from him, straitening up a little, so they weren't it their comfort positions anymore. Blaine did that too, a little scared look on his face. "The school starts in a week."

Blaine's expression changed and he signed heavily, like hadn't breathed for a while. "God, I thought you want to break up."

"That's ridiculous, " Kurt stated. "I don't want to break up, but I'm afraid of a break up."

Blaine frowned. "I don't follow you."

"I'm afraid that when the school rolls around and we won't be able to be together this often we will.. break up."

"Okay, why the hell are you repeating the phrase 'break up'?" Blaine gobbled with a panic. "Why do you think we break up?"

"Because we're in high school, where relationships don't work out so easily and let's be realistic: we will break up eventually," Kurt said, before he could even think about his words.

Blaine's eyes looked directly into Kurt's, filled with confusion and shock.

"Well, it's good to know, how much fate you have in us," Blaine mumbled, when he could finally say something and stood up.

"No, wait, that's not what I meant.." Kurt tried to say and stood up too, but Blaine was already half way out the door. "Blaine, please stop."

Blaine almost ran to his car, Kurt following him, but before he sat in, he stopped and around: "If you don't want this, than we can end this now," he said. "That way no one can get hurt."

Kurt watched as Blaine drove away. That wasn't truth, he thought. Kurt did felt hurt and dead inside, when he walked back inside and for a second he wondered, if that's the way it's supposed to be.

Kurt didn't sleep that night, of course. He laid on his, holding a phone and waited, as the sun rose. He hadn't sent a single text to Blaine because he wasn't sure if he could. Were they broken up now? Was this final? What did it meant? To be honest, Kurt knew nothing about relationships, he understood that now. He just wasn't sure, if he should try fixing. Maybe it was meant to be something short. He held the phone almost all night, fighting with himself, starting so many texts, but never really sending them.

It was six am in Sunday morning and Kurt decided that he can't lay there anymore. He needed to walk, a fresh air, so he pulled on some random jeans, t-shirt and a jacked, since it was probably quite chilly outside. He sneaked quietly through the house and as soon as he walked outside, a cool air touched his cheeks. He had just started walking, when he saw it: Blaine's car standing by the street, not so far away from the house.

Kurt's heart raced immediately and he slowly walked over. Blaine was in, his head leaning on the class, eyes closed and hands wrapped around himself, looking adorable but freezing. It wasn't the warmest morning.

Kurt had to find some courage, before he could knock on the class. Blaine reacted instantly, eyes flung open and straightening himself, before he noticed Kurt. He looked up to Kurt's eyes, mumbling something, that looked like "Kurt" and opening the door then.

"Blaine," Kurt breathed. It wasn't easy to manage some voice. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Couldn't sleep," Blaine answered when he was out of the car, standing in front of Kurt. "I came to see you, but it was too early.."

"How long have you been here?"

Blaine didn't answer right away. He bit his lip and pulled his phone out, checking the time. "About an hour or so.. Wait, why are you out so early."

Kurt shrugged, looking away for a moment. "Couldn't sleep either."

Blaine nodded, showing he understood, but not so comfortably. Silence followed, they were staring, saying nothing, because neither of them wasn't sure, where they were standing.

"I need to know," Blaine said then, with a little louder voice. "Do you want to break up?"

Kurt swallowed. He really didn't like that phrase, it just made him more and more comfortable, as he had been thinking about it so much with those past twenty four hours.

"No," he replied and with that, Blaine took him into cold but so warm embrace. Kurt pulled them even closer to each other and rested his chin on Blaine's shoulder.

"Good," Blaine whispered and didn't let go. They stayed like that for a long time.

"I'm so sorry," Kurt almost cried then, few tears running down his cheek. "I'm just so afraid to be alone again and I didn't even know what to do."

"Shh." Blaine shushed and pulled away to wipe the tears away. "It's okay. I get that and I overreacted."

Kurt smiled lightly, as they were silent again.

"Your hands are cold," Kurt said a few seconds later.

"Ah, sorry."

"You should come inside."

Blaine looked dubious, before responding. "Sure."

They walked to the house, Blaine cold hand linked with Kurt's, as he was looking for warmness. Kurt didn't really mind. Quietly they sneaked to Kurt's room and crawled into Kurt's bed. Kurt pulled the blanked over them and Blaine snuggled closer. Kurt thought that Blaine had already fallen asleep, when he suddenly spoke quietly.

"You're still afraid aren't you?"

Kurt signed. "I can't help it, I'm afraid of rejection. You're the only reason, why I feel almost normal again and I don't want to go back there."

Blaine shifted, so they could look directly into each other's eyes again. It was a safe place, where they could find the truth.

"I'm not saying that it won't be.. tricky, but we'll figure it out, I promise."

"It's not that easy, you know.."

"I know, but I already have an idea," Blaine assured.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I'll tell you about it in a few days, when I know better."

"Hmm, okay."

Kurt wanted to know more about that idea, but he was too tired to ask now, so he just closed his eyes as they both fell asleep in each other's embraces.


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Blaine woke up sensing the smell of soap and shampoo. Some kind of flower aroma. A moment later he felt Kurt's soft lips on his neck. Slowly, he opened his eyes and smiled at Kurt's bright face.

"I would say good morning, but it's not really morning anymore," Kurt said as he fell back to his pillow. They stared each other for a while, without saying a word. Kurt's eyes were too beautiful to ruin this calm and peaceful moment.

"What time is it?" Blaine groaned, when he sensed the reality again.

"About noon," Kurt answered and started to stroke Blaine's curls.

"Hmm." Blaine really liked how Kurt's fingers went through his hair again and again, so he didn't dare to move.

"Suddenly I understand all the hair gel," Kurt laughed.

"Oh, shut up, you love it," Blaine mumbled, before he could understand the meaning of his words. "I can see it in your face."

"I think I do," Kurt responded with a grind smile. Another silence followed, a little awkward this time, both of them probably trying to signify these words.

"So my dad was here a while ago," Kurt said then. The current mood changed instantly.

"What?"

"I didn't want to awake you. He came here only to ask me if I was going to get any breakfast." Blaine wondered how could Kurt stay so calm, like he wasn't talking about the fact that his dad had walked on them, while they were sleeping in Kurt's bed.

"What did you tell him? About me being here?"

"The truth. The whole story."

Blaine swallowed. "And he's okay with it?"

Kurt shrugged. "I guess I'll find out later. And don't you dare to apologize."

It was actually kind of funny, how Kurt knew, that Blaine got worried about this situation because he didn't want to cause any problems between Kurt and Burt. Their relationship has been rough enough.

"Don't your parents wonder, if they don't find you in your bedroom?" Kurt asked.

"I think they're still waking up right now, they came home really late. I'm quite sure, they know I'm with you."

"Hmm, lazy Sunday, huh?" Kurt yawned. Blaine found it adorable.

"The best, lazy Sunday. We should stay here for the whole day," Blaine answered and leaned closer to lazily shift himself on the top of Kurt and kissed the tip of his nose.

"As much as I would love that, I didn't wake you up for no reason."

Blaine groaned and rolled his eyes, but didn't move, holding their faces together, like they usually do.

"My dad actually told me to wake you up, so he'll be probably back here soon."

"You know, Burt's great," Blaine signed. "But right now.."

"I know," Kurt replied and slipped his hands out from the blanket to bring Blaine's face and his lips closer. "But as it for now, I think we can at least get away with _something_." The cap between their lips was closed to a short but deep kiss.

"Something, huh?" Blaine chuckled and they kissed again, much more deeply and passionately as Blaine leaned more on Kurt's body. For a second he thought about retreating, because Kurt's body was so skinny and sharp in Blaine's mind, but Kurt didn't let him do that and pulled Blaine against him, never stop kissing. It didn't take long, when the whole situation started to remind Blaine their kissing in Blaine's room, as neither of them didn't try to back off. Suddenly Blaine realized that his right leg was between Kurt's legs and his knee brushing gently against other boy's growing erection and oh god, Blaine was almost half hard himself.

"Boys, time to get up!" Burt's voice echoed suddenly out of nowhere as he burst the door open.

Blaine jerked off of Kurt, his heart racing in mind blowing speed, not sure if it was because of kissing Kurt or Burt's sudden entrance.

"We'll be right up!" Kurt hailed and hid his face with the blanket.

"Oh," Burt mumbled as he looked at them with a light blush and confusion, probably wondering, what the hell had he walked on and closed the door to leave just as suddenly as he had arrived.

"Oh wow," Blaine panted. "We sure need to set those boundaries."

It took a moment before Kurt reacted. Blaine waited for some kind of discussion or just an awkward silence, but instead of that, Kurt burst into laughter.

"This is funny for you?" Blaine almost exclaimed and Kurt didn't stop laughing. "This is your _father_, for the god's sake. The man will hate me for trying to ravish his son and he'll prohibit us.."

"You were trying to ravish me?" Kurt hiccough in his laugh.

"Wha- no," Blaine said quickly although Kurt still couldn't make his words seriously. "My point is, that that's what he may think."

"Can you hear yourself?" Kurt questioned then, when he could finally put the laughed aside and stood a little to sit. "You're being ridiculous. My dad don't think that you're trying to _ravish_me, he won't ban you, I would never let him do that. I mean, you're the reason why I'm not sitting in my room all day long, so I think he's rather thankful."

Blaine smiled at that, feeling the panic fading and stood too, to sit next to Kurt. "I just don't want to get you into any trouble."

"Why are you worried about me?" Kurt didn't understood. "It takes more than one to get into _this_kind of trouble. Besides, worry about yourself, he's your boss."

"Yeah, thanks for reminding me that," Blaine said sarcastically. "You're mean, you know that?"

Kurt laughed a little again and stood up off the bed. "I know."

* * *

Kurt and Blaine walked into the living room hand in hand. Burt and Carole were sitting in the living room, watching TV.

"About time," Burt uttered under his breath and Kurt shot him an annoying look.

"Good morning," Carole smiled and stood up to turn her way to kitchen. "Come, I'll find you guys something to eat."

"Wait," Burt said suddenly, when they followed Carole. They stopped. "Blaine, can I talk with you, for a second?" A tiny but annoying panic rushed over Blaine again.

"Dad," Kurt mumbled with a warning tone, not feeling happy about it.

"I just want to talk with my employee, Kurt, do you mind?" Burt and Kurt were both so stubborn, Blaine realized.

"Yeah, right," Kurt responded with a grimace on his face.

"It's okay," Blaine assured then. "I'll be right there."

Kurt watched Blaine with surprised look on his face, silently asking if he's sure. Blaine just nodded and let go of Kurt's hand. Kurt left dubiously.

Blaine turned to Burt, who looked more uncomfortable than mad.

"Blaine, come, sit." Blaine did as told, shaking a little. When did he get so nervous? He was a performer, for the god's sake, he should be used with any kind of attention. "So, school is only days away, which means that your work at the garage will be done, I'm guessing?"

"That was the plan, yes," Blaine swallowed.

"Well, I have to admit, I'm going to miss you, although I have a feeling, that I'll still be seeing you around."

Blaine grinned.

"You did a great work, you were a lot of help."

"Thanks." Was that it? Burt really wanted to talk about work?

"But that's not the only thing I'm thankful for. I also wanted to thank you for thank you for making _him_ smile again."

Blaine's heart sank. He knew without a doubt, who Burt was talking about.

"My pleasure," Blaine answered, still smiling widely and immediately slapping himself mentally. _Really, Blaine really?__ You have NO filter._ The voice in Blaine's head sounded a lot like Kurt. "I mean, I really care about Kurt."

"Hm," Burt growled softly. "I just hope, that you're with him for.. the right reasons."

_Oh god. _

"It's not just about.. helping him or the pity party, isn't it?"

_Oh._

"Of course not," Blaine burst out. "I really like him, I.." _love him?_Blaine didn't end the sentence.

"Okay, good," Burt said then, with much lighter tone. "That's all I wanted to say."

Blaine should've felt relieved, better, but he didn't. He felt annoyed of his own thoughts.

"So, you're free to go," Burt had to say before Blaine stood up again.

Suddenly his legs had turned into jelly. It didn't hurt but it was kind of ticklish and tingling feeling that made it difficult to walk normally. When he reached to kitchen, he had to lean against the wall. He looked at Kurt, who was talking and giggling with Carole. Kurt, who was so graceful and beautiful, but also so sharp that Blaine had an urge to wrap his arms around this boy and keep him forever.

"Everything okay?" Kurt asked with a worried tone, when he realized that Blaine was there. "You look pale. What did my dad tell you?"

It took a moment, before Blaine could respond.: "Nothing, everything is perfect."

That's when Blaine realized that he had fallen in love with Kurt Hummel.


	15. Chapter 14

**Okay, hey! So I guess I should finally contact a little with those fellow readers I have here! :)**

**So what you should know is that english is not my native language, so thats why I might have so many mistakes. It's also my very first fic, so be gentle :P.  
**

**Also, this story was originally posted to scarvesandcoffee,net , so I had some (okay, many) problems with uploading it here. I THINK I corrected everything now (I reupload most of the chapters), but if there are still some kind of stupid mistakes (like a wrong chapter in a wrong place etc) just let me know. I don't also mind if people correct my grammar mistakes - I don't have a beta, so no one checks my writing.  
**

**Oh, and in this story: Blaine and Kurt are both seniors and they will graduate together. Why? Because I DO NOT accept the fact that, Blaine is younger than Kurt..  
**

**I hope you like it! :)  
**

* * *

Chapter 14

Blaine was rather nervous when he left the Hummel-Hudson's house that Sunday. He had to assure Kurt that everything was okay and that Burt hadn't threatened him. Before he started driving, he sent texts to David and Wes, knowing, that it was his last chance to see them, before they would move away from Ohio to college.

He drove straight to the Lima Bean. It's not like he could come up with any better place to meet. Blaine knew, that he would be early, but he didn't care. He ordered a coffee and sat down, drowning into his thoughts.

"Hey hobbit," Wes called when they arrived. Blaine couldn't help but smile. The company of his friends always made things lighter.

"Will you ever stop calling me a hobbit?" he asked.

"Maybe when you find a boyfriend who is shorter than you," David laughed, somehow making it awkward.

"That's the thing. It won't happen," Blaine uttered, almost whispering.

"We'll.. order a coffee, and then we can talk," Wes signed then and dragged David to the coffee line. They returned a few minutes later.

"You okay?" David asked as they sat down. Blaine wasn't sure how to answer that, so he just decided to burst it out loud:

"I want to transfer to McKinley."

Silence. Only silence and weird faces followed. Wes took a sip of his drink. "And that's because I think I love him." Wes started to choke but neither of them still didn't say anything. They all knew, who Blaine was talking about. He looked at his friends and tried to read out some kind of reaction, but both boys stayed still, probably holding themselves back.

"Sorry," Blaine signed then and fell into shame. "I just needed to get that out, if it's too weird for you guys, we don't have to talk about that.."

"No, no," Wes stopped him. "It's not weird to talk about your relationship with Kurt, it's just.. weird is _what_ you are talking about."

"Yeah," David nodded with agreement. "Don't give us wrong, but you two have known each other for what.. two months? And you've been dating only for a few weeks and now you want to change your experience of senior year just because of him.. It just seems a little rushed and naïve."

Blaine didn't interrupt them and didn't try to say something when they stopped talking for a second, probably trying to find any kind of emotion from Blaine this time, but Blaine knew how to hide his feelings and hold them back.

"We like Kurt," David continued. "He's great and good for you and you two make a lovely couple. Your intension to transfer would make sense, if you two were together for more than just few weeks, but as it for now, it seems like you're just a little blinded of your first boyfriend."

Blaine listened, ignoring looking into their eyes. Sometimes he hated, how much they knew him. It made him feel exposed.

"Besides, Dalton is a great place for you," Wes shrugged a few seconds later.

"Because I'm gay?" Blaine exhaled, not trying to hold himself back.

"Don't try to make me feel bad here," Wes answered quickly. "We all know why you transferred to Dalton in the first place. It's safe for you."

"Well there's the other reason, why I should transfer then," Blaine spoke then but Wes and David looked confused. "After this year, the real world will come and McKinley would be a great practice. I will always stay gay and I probably will always be mocked, it's something I just have to be prepared for. "

"Woah, you did not just say that," Wes breathed after another silence that followed to Blaine's words.

Blaine sighed heavily, dropping his head to his arms before continuing talking. "Look, the actual reason why I wanted to talk with you guys is that I feel that if I transfer, I will somehow betray the Warblers because obviously I would join the New Directions.."

Wes and David obviously felt awkward, Blaine could easily tell.

"Well.. that shouldn't be a problem," David swallowed carefully. "I mean, you aren't betraying them. That is your life and this is just one of your choices."

Blaine should've felt better and relieved but somehow he didn't even care about that. He started to wonder, if David had his point with what he had said before. Blaine's heart felt heavy and his relationship with Kurt so much more difficult and David and Wes understood that.

"Blaine," Wes said after another silence. "We both want the best for you, you know that and we don't want to stop you for doing what makes you happy, but we just want you to be.. careful and sure. It's just kind of a big decision."

"The way I see it," David uttered as he finished his coffee. "If.. Kurt feels the same way you do, then go for it. If he doesn't.. just hold it back for a while."

With that, Blaine felt even worse. It was obvious that he couldn't be honest with Kurt about his feelings: it would be awkward and probably very uncomfortable for Kurt, who was still getting used with their relationship.

But Blaine couldn't talk about that anymore. Enough was said so he just decided to change the subject:

"So when can I see you guys again or are you going to ditch me for college parties?" he asked with a lustful tone, trying to forget about him and Kurt for a while.

"Don't be ridiculous," Wes laughed. "We will take you with us."

* * *

Kurt and Blaine didn't meet again that Sunday, but as usually, Blaine picked Kurt up on Monday morning and they drove to Lima Bean and then to garage.

"I thought that I would be happy once my obligations in garage end, but right now, I wish it didn't," Kurt said when they were standing in the coffee line.

Blaine bit his lip. "I know what you feel," he smiled lightly, wanting to say so much more than that. So instead of that, he put his arm around Kurt and pulled him closer and felt the scent of Kurt's shampoo.

"It still scares me, you know," Kurt signed.

"I know, it scares me too," Blaine answered. It frustrated him. He had a solution and god knew, how much he wanted to transfer to be closer to Kurt, but he couldn't. He couldn't rush, because that could end up badly and Kurt could run away. "But I promised, we'll figure something out."

Kurt looked pale as they shared their glances. Blaine took Kurt's face between his hands and stroke his cheek. God he was beautiful, even though he was pale and sharp and sad, but he was still truly beautiful.

"Yesterday morning when we fell asleep in my bed.. you said something about an idea.."

Blaine froze. _Damn it__, _Blaine knew that he couldn't lie.

"Yeah, I have to think about that. I don't want to talk about it though.."

For a second it seemed that Kurt let it go, but Blaine could see how restless it made him. Kurt wanted to know, what Blaine was talking about and seeing Kurt struggle in his thoughts made Blaine feel guilty.

"I am thinking about transferring to McKinley," Blaine mumbled then quietly, feeling a little nervous, like confessing it was some kind of risk. Kurt pulled away from Blaine's embrace suddenly and looked into Blaine's eyes. _Maybe it was a risk_, Blaine wondered then.

"Wait what? Since when have you been thinking about it?" Kurt stuttered with shock.

"Since Saturday evening, but clearly, I have to think about it.."

"That's ridiculous," Kurt spurted out then and Blaine felt his heart sinking. "Do you even know what you are talking about here? McKinley isn't safe! You would probably be pushed around just as much as I am and god, they throw slushies at your face and it's horrible and I can't let you do that."

Blaine felt confused and.. disappointed?

"Wait, you don't want me do transfer?"

Kurt shook his head. "I want to be with you every second of my life, but I don't want you to have to go through this hell for that."

Blaine smiled and pulled Kurt closer again. The warmth of Kurt's body was too comfortable and nice.

"I believe it would be worth it. Don't you?" Blaine breathed and felt Kurt stiffening.

"Blaine.." Kurt almost groaned and that's when Blaine understood, that it was too much for the other boy.

"Okay, no, don't say a word anymore, I can't stand another fight right now," Blaine said. "Kurt, I want to be with you and neither way, outside of our houses it won't be just as safe. Just like here," Blaine gestured to the coffee shop. "It's not even safe here, although right now it feels so, but we can't help it. So yes, I think that you are worth it. And I understand, if you don't feel the same way right now, you shouldn't say anything, that you don't believe."

Kurt looked at Blaine for a second and shook his head again.

"You are right," Kurt sighed then and tried pulling closer as well. "We can't help it and it is worth it. You're worth it. I want my senior year to be magical and you can make it magical. I won't ask you to transfer but I'll welcome you, if you do. I just don't understand yet how am I worth it."

Blaine smiled and although it was good to know how easily they could talk about things that weren't easy, Blaine was still nervous. _Now would be a perfect time to say __it, confess the true feelings he had for Kur__t_, he thought, except .. it wasn't.

"You are worth so much more," Blaine said instead and leaned closer to share a little kiss with his boyfriend, although they had silently agreed on minor intimacy in public. "And like a I said, I still have to think about it. I can't just bail on Warblers."

"Yeah, I know the feeling.." Kurt uttered when it was finally their turn to order a coffee.


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

School rolled around too quickly in Kurt's mind. It was harder than he had imagined because suddenly he was surrounded by people again. People, who knew his history more than Blaine and it made him feel uncomfortable and exposed. Kurt couldn't hide his fears and shivers from Glee club, because they knew almost everything that Kurt went through last year.

It also felt like he had to say goodbye to Blaine. His sweet Blaine, who had been a little distant and careful after their talk in Lima Bean. It was cold and scary without Blaine and Kurt didn't want to talk about the transferring, so the hadn't discussed it anymore. Sure, now when he walked in McKinley halls again, he really wished that Blaine would be there, maybe even holding his hand and ignoring the mean names they would have to deal with, but he cared too much about Blaine to make him through this. Dalton was safe and Blaine had an opportunity to go there, so he should stay there with Katy Perry showstoppers. The only version Blaine Kurt had here was through texts.

"Hey Kurt," Rachel said in their first Glee club meeting, with a kind of a cold tone. Kurt reminded painfully his words in New York that he had said to Rachel, but now was probably too late to apologize.

"Hey Rachel," Kurt answered quietly, just trying to pass the awkwardness.

More people came to the choir room and said hi to Kurt. They hadn't seen him whole summer, so it kind of made sense, how everybody tried to be as friendly as possible.

"How was your summer?" Artie asked, but Kurt couldn't find an answer right away.

"Oh, _he_ had a very good summer," Rachel whistled sarcastically instead. Kurt knew instantly, what Rachel was talking about. "I mean, he has been dating our competition after all."

"Stop it," Finn uttered quietly, but Kurt was sure that Finn was more scared of Rachel to really _stop _her.

Everyone stayed quiet. Of course they knew, what Rachel was talking about. They knew about Blaine, because Rachel had sent 'urgent' texts about Kurt dating Blaine few weeks back.

"Rachel, he is not a spy," Kurt signed heavily, but quietly, feeling tired. He didn't have much energy to fight with anyone. He had barely slept and the rest of the school day was already really exhausting.

"Oh, right, because Jessie was our lucky saint.."

"Oh, shut up," Mercedes spurted out suddenly. She was the only one who kept Kurt sane this day. "I've met Blaine and he is a really nice guy and good for Kurt. He is not a spy, believe me."

Kurt shot a thankful look at Mercedes, who sat next to him and he probably thanked someone, who he didn't even believe in, when Mr. Schuester walked in to talk about the pruple piano project.

* * *

Kurt and Blaine met after their first school day in Lima Bean. It was weird to see Blaine in his Warbler uniform, yet so adorable.

„Hi," Blaine smiled at him as soon as Kurt step in and gave him a quick kiss. Kurt couldn't help but notice other boys in uniforms watching them behind Blaine.

„Uhm, are these your friends?" Kurt asked doubtfully, when other boys were still staring at them. Blaine seemed to finally notice that.

"Yeah," Blaine breathed. Kurt was surprised but he told himself that he shouldn't be. After all, Blaine probably did have more friends than two, David and Wes, who graduated last year anyway. "Come."

Blaine dragged him closer to other guys, who weren't sitting so far away from them.

"So, guys, be normal," Blaine said with not so serious tone and wrap his left arm around Kurt, who felt kind of unconscious. "This is Kurt, my boyfriend."

All of the four guys smiled. It was actually kind of creepy because they kept winking at Blaine.

"Hi Kurt, we've heard quite a lot about you," a boy with dark hair and wide smile said.

"Kurt, these are Nick," Blaine gestured at the boy with dark hair. "Trent, Jeff and Thad."

"Hi," Kurt spoke shyly, almost whispering.

"You okay with it?" Blaine questioned quietly, so the other guys probably barely heard them. Kurt knew what Blaine meant: he understood that Blaine asked if Kurt was okay with meeting more Blaine's friends and that made Kurt fall harder. Those gentle moments showed how much Blaine actually had learned about him with those few weeks. Even though Kurt wasn't sure if he really was okay , he nodded to Blaine and smiled lightly.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Kurt assured.

"Will you sit with us?" one of the guys – Trent, Kurt remembered – asked.

Blaine shot Kurt an asking look, because they actually didn't plan to stay here much longer. Kurt shrugged. The guys seemed harmless.

"I'll get you a coffee. A grande nonfat mocha, right?"

Kurt smiled again and nodded. Damn, that boy didn't knew his past but he sure did remember his coffee order. He stared at Blaine a long time, as the boy walked towards the coffee line and couldn't stop the smiling. It was probably a little weird by now.

„You are in love with him, aren't you?" one of the guys suddenly said. Kurt jerked, he had almost forgot the fact that he was sitting by the table with four other guys.

„Sorry, wha-what?" Kurt stuttered and looked at their grinning faces. _Did they just tell that I'm in love?__?_

„Oh, don't worry," Jeff spoke . „He's totally in love with you too."

_What?_ THIS was unexpected. Kurt froze and watched at Jeff with kind of terror-shock in his eyes.

„Blaine is.." Kurt unable to end the sentence.

„In love with you," Nick nodded next to Kurt. „It's quite obvious."

Kurt stayed silent for a moment, trying to understand the exact meaning of these words. _Blaine is.. in love with me?__ No, not possible.._

„It's a little early for that," Kurt squeak when he could finally manage words again. „We've been dating barely for a month.." It seemed like Kurt was more talking with himself though.

„Early or not," Nick shrugged. „We know Blaine well and believe us, we can tell when this guy is in love."

Kurt whimpered and looked down to Blaine again. Blaine noticed him looking and smiled, but turned away then, because it was his turn to order. The thought of Blaine loving him was a little scary, but surprisingly really pleasant. Blaine was wonderful and everything that Kurt would wish from a perfect boyfriend.

„Look," Nick signed then, when Kurt didn't attempt to talk again. „Blaine has always been kind of always-positive-and-happy person, even after the hell he went through in his old school, but he sure have been lonely. But after this summer.. he is so much happier. We just hope, that you can appreciate it.."

„Yeah, we all remember Valentine's day.." Jeff said with a frown as he took a sip of his coffee. Trent bit his lip with a weird, worried face and Thad covered his mouth with his hand. Kurt felt more and more confused.

„What are you talking about?" Blaine asked, when he suddenly returned, sitting next to Kurt and handing him a coffee.

„Something about a Valentine's day..?" Kurt explained, although he wasn't sure himself, what was going on.

„Oh god," Blaine groaned at that. „Please no," he said when Nick took a breath to start explaining. „I've been gone for like.. two seconds and you guys already found a way to humiliate me."

Boys laugh teasingly.

„We couldn't say anything, you interrupted," Trent mumbled. He looked disappointed, so was Kurt.

„And you won't!" Blaine exhaled with wide gestures. But Kurt didn't want to let it got. He was too curious for that.

„Blaine, please," Kurt begged. „I want to know this mysterious story."

Blaine suppressed his lips „It's not that interesting," Blaine tried to make him leave it.

„Yeah, more just sad.." somebody, probably Jeff uttered sarcastically.

And Kurt kept begging with his eyes. Blaine groaned then again, giving Nick the permission he needed to talk.

„So," Nick started. „In Valentine's day, Blaine came to Warblers and asked to do a performance off-campus so he could sing to this guy at The Gap, what was his name?"

"Jeremiah," Jeff answered quickly. Kurt felt his heart skipping a beat. It was going to be _that_ kind of story..

"Right, Jeremiah, and Blaine had to _beg_, because it's something that Warblers don't usually do. And when we finally agreed, we sang _'When I get you alone'_ at _the store_on _Valentine's __, so Blaine could _impress himand ask him out or god knows what he wanted from this guy but what happens?"

"He turned Blaine down," Jeff spoke.

_Oh._

"Yes, Jeremiah turned me down," Blaine said with a quiet tone, which was filled with humiliation. "Turned out that he wasn't even out of the closet and he almost got fired because of me."

Nick and Trent tried to hold back their quiet huff of laugh but without any result.

"_Anyways_, we never spoke again and I don't want to back to The Gap ever again. It was the most humiliating experience in my life, which tells a lot because I've performed in theme parks and I was kind of hoping that _you guys_would let me forget it but hey, that's what friends are for."

Kurt laughed this time too, although he felt kind of bad for Blaine.

"Aand now you now," Blaine signed, obviously not feeling comfortable.

"Don't worry," Kurt said while pulling Blaine closer. "I had a crush on my step-brother; I think it's not much worse."

Kurt leaned to kiss Blaine on the lips, shortly again. But this little kiss was enough to make Kurt wonder more about other Warbler's words. This kiss was enough to make Kurt understand that was truly in love with Blaine.

* * *

The next days passed with the same rhythm. The school was tiring and annoying as Kurt tried to ignore the same kind of bulling he ignored last year. It wasn't that bad anymore, since Karofsky is gone, but it wasn't still easy.. The food fight made it even worse and too much drama was around with those first days.

It made him angry and shivering and the only way he could manage his day was thinking about Blaine, who waited him every day, after school at Lima Bean. Blaine, who maybe, was in love with him, but Kurt wasn't sure and he couldn't bring himself to say these simple words himself. Everything had happened too fast between Kurt and Blaine and Kurt didn't want to ruin it.

It was really overwhelming to find a purple piano in courtyard. _Really, Mr. Shue, really?_ Kurt thought. _The food fight wasn't enough to show that it's a bad idea?_No one didn't start the song, so it was surprising when suddenly the trumpets, trombones and the band started playing. And there he was: Blaine, adorable as ever with really nice red jeans dancing his way in and starting singing:

"_It's not unusual to be loved by anyone," _he sang and these words made Kurt whimper. He quickly reminded Nick's and Jeff's words that had kept him up all night. _"__It's not unusual to have fun with anyone."_

Blaine kept singing and dancing and he blew away the shock and confusion, that Kurt and probably everybody else from the Glee club had. And yes, he was incredible and wonderful but Kurt still couldn't stop thinking about the meaning of this song. Every time, the word 'love' came up, Kurt startled a little. But nothing made him startle more than the phrase: _„It's not unusual to find out I'm in love with you."_

The piano set on fire, when the song ended, so that made the whole situation even more shocking. Kurt wasn't sure what was happening, not until the teachers came down to send students to the class and Blaine tugged Kurt inside.

„What are you doing here? What was that?" Kurt exhaled when they reached to the school hallway.

„That was me auditioning for the New Directions," Blaine answered with a bright smile. „I don't understand the piano thing though.."

_Wait what?_ Kurt shook his head, still in deep confusion. Kurt didn't say anything for a long time. He tried his best to understand what Blaine had said. Did that really meant that Blaine will transfer? In that moment, he didn't give a damn about that piano.

„Blaine are you sure?" Kurt asked. „I told you, it will won't be easy around here.."

Blaine stopped him and just looked directly into Kurt's eyes „I know that, but the thing is: I can't be away from the person I love. No one can keep me away."

In that moment, they both froze, because neither of them didn't expect, what Blaine had just said. _Blaine said that he loves you_, Kurt said to himself. _Blain__e__ said that he loves you, Blaine said that he loves you._

„Yeah, I said that," Blaine signed suddenly.

Kurt swallowed. „I said that just out loud, didn't I?" he laughed heavily. Blaine nodded shyly.

Blaine was about to say something, probably to apologize or something, when Kurt pulled Blaine to a tight hug and rested his chin on Blaine's shoulder.

„I love you too, Blaine. It's probably too early to say it, but I don't care. I love you, Blaine."

Blaine relaxed against Kurt and tightened his arms around him.


	17. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

It was a beautiful day, Kurt decided and it wasn't just about the sunny weather. It was a beautiful day because he walked through McKinley halls with Blaine holding his hand. It was such a beautiful day that they didn't even notice when they passed jocks who didn't hold back what they had in mind. It was such a beautiful day, that Kurt didn't even waste himself on getting mad at Finn, who wasn't so welcoming to Blaine.

"Dad," Kurt swallowed when they arrived to their house. "Why are you home.. so early?"

Burt's gaze stayed on the TV as he answered: "I took the afternoon off, other guys will cover me. Hi Blaine!" Kurt was surprised: he didn't even know, that Burt had noticed Blaine's present.

"Hey, Burt," Blaine answered with kind of dry tone. A boy shot a longing look at him and Kurt knew that Blaine wanted to whine and convince Kurt to go to his empty house. But Kurt didn't feel like going there, he didn't feel completely comfortable there yet.

"Okay," Kurt breathed then a second later. "We're going to my room then."

Kurt dragged Blaine towards to his room, but it seemed that Burt had his own thoughts about that.

"Don't close the door!" a man yelled and Kurt froze instantly. He felt the blush on his cheeks when Blaine chuckled. Kurt tried not to look at him as they stopped.

"I can't believe you just said that," Kurt said, not yelling, but he knew, that his dad could hear him. He almost ran to his room, Blaine followed him with a little slower tempo. Despite what Burt had said Kurt closed the door.

"Don't you think you can get in trouble for that?" Blaine asked and that made Kurt a little nervous. He would've liked to just ignore what had happened and not to talk about that at all.

"I'll deal with that later," Kurt answered quickly and walked to the bed. He threw himself down and tried to relax.

"You know, I've always wondered," Blaine said as he crawled into the bed next to Kurt. "Didn't you get trouble that time, when Burt walked in on us, while we were.. kissing that morning."

That's when Kurt realized that Blaine didn't feel completely comfortable with talking about boundaries neither. Or maybe it was because he knew, that Kurt didn't feel comfortable.

"Nah," Kurt answered with as calm tone as possible and closed his eyes. "I mean, he was a little weird around me for a while, but I don't think he really wants to talk about.. that kind of stuff anymore. I mean, you were the one who made him to give me _the talk_.."

"Oh, shut up," Blaine laughed. They both seemed to finally realize that this discussion was actually a little awkward. They didn't want to talk about.. intimacy yet. They just wanted to stay in this sweet and comfortable zone, where the only serious intimacy was cuddling and maybe, just maybe, sometimes they could get away with a few more kisses.

"You know, you never told me what my dad said to you that day.." That was enough to change the topic.

"There's not much to tell," Blaine shrugged and moved closer to Kurt. Kurt opened his eyes and turned his head, to take a look at Blaine. For a second it seemed that Blaine wanted to say something more, but instead of that, he smiled and planted a small kiss on Kurt's lips.

That's when Kurt remembered the fact, that they hadn't had a chance to kiss properly this day yet. They had agreed on minor intimacy in public, which practically meant no kissing in public, but now they were in Kurt's house, in Kurt's room behind the closed doors. That was a safe place for something bigger than just hand holding.

So Kurt pulled Blaine closer to kiss him more deeply this time, but he also pulled back, so that things wouldn't get carried away again. He just wasn't sure if there was something to stop them this time and it was better to stop it right now, when he still had some blood in his brain left. On the other hand, Kurt wondered when Blaine's head fell down on bed next to him, it could be kind of celebrating. They could celebrate their first I-love-you thing, although it seemed so, _so_ cheesy. They could celebrate it with some kind of make up session.. And god, Kurt Hummel actually liked that idea a lot, even though discussing intimacy boundaries felt weird.

"Hey, Blaine?" Kurt mumbled and slowly turned enough to face Blaine, who had also closed his eyes to relax.

"Hm?" Blaine hummed, eyes stayed closed.

"You know, since we kind of had an.. important day today, we could celebrate."

Blaine smiled. Of course he understood, what Kurt was talking about. He probably even heard him thinking about it.

"And what exactly do you have in mind?" Blaine asked with a deep and oh-so-sexy voice.

Kurt placed his left hand on Blaine's body and traced boy's ribs with his fingers through the shirt.

"Well, the door is closed so.." he managed to say before Blaine's eyes flew quickly and suddenly open. "We could use that.."

"Kurt," Blaine almost whispered. It was hard to understand, if he wanted to stop them right there or if he wanted Kurt to crawl on top of him and just kiss him senseless. Maybe he wanted both.

But Kurt didn't want to stop them there anymore. Yes, he didn't want _everything_but it was safe to say that both of them wanted _something_so when Blaine pushed himself on his hands, Kurt moved closer and pressed his lip between Blaine's. This simple kiss was enough to make Blaine completely forget about the struggle he was probably having and pull their mouths back together.

It was different than it was the last time they had kissed so long in this bed: it was slow and kind of gentle, but really deep maybe even sensual, like they would actually want to lick each other. This was a side of him that Kurt wasn't aware of. Not before Blaine. And he didn't completely understand it yet, but he could tell that it had something to do with teenager's hormones. They kept up with that, not moving closer, it was all they really needed. Blaine took Kurt's lower lip between his teeth few minutes later and Kurt pulled away after that, with a mischievous smile on his face while moved his left hand up to lay it on Blaine's chest. He didn't exactly puss him away, but it was enough for Blaine to understand.

"You see?" Kurt said with a little too high pitch. "We can stop without someone's bad timing."

Blaine smiled back and nodded. "We can," he agreed and leaned closer again to kiss Kurt one last time.

Kurt stood up then, pulling Blaine up by hand as well.

"Come," he spoke with a lower tone this time. "Let's find something to eat. I'm starving."

They walked to the kitchen, followed by Burt's frown. While Kurt dig out some sandwich material, he heard another car pulling to the driveway. Probably Finn, Kurt thought and didn't trouble himself with looking outside. When he heard the front door open, he could tell that he was right - it was Finn, but what Kurt didn't realize was that Finn wasn't alone.

"Hey!" Rachel's positive voice echoed through the walls and made Kurt freeze. _Damn, why were they still a couple?_Kurt wondered angrily in his head.

He listened carefully, as they said their hellos to Burt and walked to the kitchen. Blaine was watching him – observed his exact reaction.

"Oh, hey guys!" Rachel greeted with a friendly tone. Even Finn seemed uncomfortable, Kurt wasn't sure if it was because of the problems that Rachel and Kurt were having or because of the problem he had with Blaine for some reason.

"Hey," Blaine answered with a small grin. Kurt nodded to Rachel and took the plate with sandwiches.

"Let's eat in my room," he uttered quietly to Blaine and walked out of the kitchen as soon as possible.

"Kurt," Burt said with a warning tone when he saw them passing. Kurt knew immediately what he meant with that.

"Yeah dad, I won't close the door so we couldn't impregnate each other," Kurt answered sarcastically, feeling a little nauseous of the whole situation he was running from. Ignoring his own words this time, he closed the door anyway and didn't look at Blaine's disapproving look.

They sat down on Kurt's bed in silence because Kurt was obviously not in a mood to talk. He felt mad and sick, but as he finally dared to look at Blaine again, who was silent the whole time, he wanted to hit himself. Blaine sat there with him, just eating and not bothering with the questions, but still having no answers at all. Kurt felt like he had ruined this beautiful day.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked when he finally noticed that Kurt was staring him. Kurt didn't answer, just shrugged carelessly. "Should I.. leave?"

"Oh, no, no," Kurt answered quickly. "No, the quite opposite actually. I think _I_ should explain you some things.."

Blaine nodded and swallowed the last piece of his sandwich.

"You know, that you still don't have to.." Blaine tried to tell but Kurt cut him off.

"I know," he simply stated and put his half eaten sandwich also away. "The thing is, that me and Rachel.. we are really similar actually, or at least we were. We were each other's competitors, probably still are, but you know, I haven't been fighting for solos in the glee club anyway.. But you know we both have the same taste of kind of music and.. the same kind of dreams, " Kurt stopped for a second to breath. He shouldn't have talked about that. He didn't want to discuss his dreams, it was too painful. "I guess that's why we kind of had always hated each other. She didn't like to _anyone_ really, but uhm, we were just really competitive. Still, she was the only one or at least the first one, who noticed how lonely I was last year and she made her steps to help me. We sang some duets and she even let me to choose her new outfits. But as I became worse because of this.. Karofsky's thing I didn't want to let anyone in. Especially after I refused to transfer. She never really gave up and that was actually really frustrating."

"But things were little different for me in New York. I felt better there, so I that's where I tried to let her in. We had breakfast at Tiffany's," Kurt laughed at that memory. "We even sneaked in to Broadway and sang another duet and god, you have no idea, how much better I felt out there. We talked about our.. future plans." Kurt felt a painful flick in his stomach. It was another thing with dreams, he didn't want to even mention. Not even to Blaine. Especially not to Blaine. "And I really, _really_ wanted to win nationals, because this was the only thing that kept me sane through the year. I worked so hard for this, trying to do my part as well as I could, but we didn't. We didn't win because of Finn's and Rachel's wicked love story, that had to be shared on the stage and that drove me insane. I got so mad and yelled at Rachel, saying all this bad stuff.." Kurt stopped himself again, because he felt like crying but the idea of this was ridiculous. He didn't want to cry, at least not in front of Blaine.

"I mean, others were mad too, you know.. If you would've only seen Santana.. But I was the meanest and I hate myself for it. I don't even know why I only yelled at Rachel, not at Finn.. Of course I was mad at him too, but I just threw all my anger on Rachel."

Kurt stopped this time for good, looking down because he did not need to see Blaine's pity gaze, when he did his best to look strong. Although Kurt knew that he was ready to tell Blaine about it still was hard to remind himself the memories that he had pressed down to forget for good.

"Have you tried to apologize?" Blaine asked then with a low and calm voice.

Kurt shook his head, confusing Blaine even more.

"No," he answered. "When we came back from New York, I.. changed to worse again and I stopped socializing for good. That's when I pushed Mercedes away and.. I ignored Rachel over the summer, when she came here with Finn and I was still too mad anyway.. And now it's probably too late." Kurt signed heavily. "Besides, I'm not sure if I want to apologize even now.."

"How come?" Blaine asked really carefully.

Kurt swallowed at that. He wasn't sure how to say it correctly. "She uhm.. said some things about you that made me really mad again.."

Kurt didn't have to look to know, that Blaine's eyebrows rose instantly.

"About _me_?"

"She believes you're a spy," Kurt stated then and tried to see Blaine's reaction. "She dated a guy from Vocal Adrenaline in our sophomore year, who ended up making breakfast on her head."

"Oh, god," Blaine groaned and moved closer to Kurt. He took Kurt's face between his hands and made the boy look straight to his eyes. "You know, that I'm not a spy, right?" he asked. "I would never _ever_ do that, and if you feel more comfortable, I can transfer back to Dalton."

"No!" Kurt almost exhaled. "I mean, yes, I know you're not a spy, which is weird, considering how much I usually trust people and I don't want you to transfer back to Dalton. Not now, when you're already here. It would be too painful to watch you go."

Blaine shook his head and pulled Kurt into his embrace.

"I won't go, unless you want me to," Blaine whispered to Kurt's ear. For a second Kurt thought about Blaine's words, thinking, if that was the way to get Blaine go back to Dalton and keep him safe.. "I love you."

"I love you too," Kurt signed.

They stayed like that for a while, before Kurt let go of his painful thoughts for a second and started to felt the guilt building up.

"Sorry for ruining this celebrating," Kurt apologized as he pulled away from Blaine's hug.

"You didn't ruin anything," Blaine tried to assure with a light kiss, but Kurt didn't really believe him this time.


	18. Chapter 17

**AN: Thank you for your feedback, I really appreciate it! **

**These chapters never turn out the way I plan, but it seems to me that they all end with confessions/crying/fighting? :D Yeah, that's something I should probably work on..  
**

* * *

Chapter 17

Blaine found out quickly that McKinley wasn't that bad. Yes, he got called names, even by one of the teachers and people didn't seem to care if they were in his way, but really, he kind of liked it there. With some exceptions he was really welcomed to New Directions and even Mr. Schuester was really fond of him. Blaine wondered if it was because of his past singing experiences.

But Kurt was different in school, Blaine could tell after only few days in McKinley. He was more quiet and scared of every piece of touching. He often looked tired or annoyed. Kurt never said his opinion in Glee club rehearsal and didn't mind singing on the background which was a shame in Blaine's mind. Kurt had a great voice he could easily use for so much more.

"You know, for some reason I always thought that Kurt would run for the class president," Tina said before the English class one day. Kurt and Blaine had many classes together but English wasn't one of them.

Blaine frowned. "How come?"

"He used to be a fighter. I always imagined that he would be a class president and fight against the bullying that way.."

In some way, it made a perfect sense even though Blaine had never seen this fighter side of Kurt. He knew that Kurt was stubborn, sure, but this was different.

"He is doing better now, you know," Tina said when Blaine fell into the silence. "With you, I mean."

Blaine smiled shyly. Hearing this always made him feel a little better, useful maybe, but this time he couldn't bring himself to feel good about it.

"Right now.. I wouldn't be so sure," Blaine mumbled quietly.

Tina looked at him with a suspicious look, but didn't comment. Blaine was thankful, he didn't want to talk about that anyway.

* * *

"So what do you think about me auditioning for Tony?" Blaine asked as carefully as he could during the booty camp. Although Blaine understood Mr. Schuester's concern about club's dancing skills he still couldn't help but feel mad. How come that the teacher didn't see how Kurt was struggling? Kurt was a wreck and Blaine wondered if he wanted to quit.

"Uh," Kurt panted through the steps. "You'd be a perfect Tony."

"Will you be auditioning?" Blaine asked few minutes later, feeling a little spent himself. "For the musical?"

Kurt let out a sarcastic snort. _I guess it would be a 'no' then_. But Blaine wasn't done with asking.

"Why not? It would be useful in college application.."

"Yeah, if I will ever write one," Kurt answered quickly and carelessly, like it didn't matter.

_Wait, what?_ Blaine was speechless but that's when Mr. Schuester interrupted to say something that Blaine didn't hear anyway, so he dropped it, making the mental note to talk about that with Kurt later.

* * *

They walked towards Blaine's car in the end of the day, when he asked about that again: "Kurt, what did you meant with that college thing?."

"What college thing?" Kurt muttered quietly. His walking and face expression changed suddenly. Blaine could see how he tried to act normally, but was still a little shaky to that question.

"You know what I'm talking about, Kurt." Blaine's voice was deep and commanding. He couldn't really help it.

Kurt stopped by the car and opened the door.

"There's nothing much to say," he sighed then. "I don't have any idea what I'm going to do after this year.." He sat into the car with carelessly, like they would just discuss another movie, like it wasn't important.

But it _was_ important and Blaine couldn't hide the surprise. Blaine wasn't shocked because of Kurt had just said: he wasn't the only one, who still wasn't sure what do with his life after high school. Blaine felt shocked because of the way, how Kurt said it: like it really didn't matter.

Slowly, Blaine followed and sat in too. He gazed at Kurt, who seemed quite tensed. They didn't talk about that during the ride, just agreed on going to Blaine's empty house instead of Kurt's because of Finn, who was probably arriving home any minute. Both of them felt more comfortable with each other without their families around, but this wasn't the only reason why Blaine didn't want to Kurt's house that day. He had enough of Finn for that day.

They didn't say a word to each other on their way to the house and the silence tensed even more

"Do you want something to eat or drink?" Blaine asked then when they walked into the kitchen.

Kurt shook his head and sat down by the kitchen counteron the stool. Blaine found himself a class and drank a little water, before looking at Kurt again.

Kurt was tired and lost in his thoughts, sitting quietly and looking at something that wasn't really even there, Blaine could tell. Blaine sneaked quietly behind Kurt to put his hands on boy's shoulders and massage gently. Kurt startled at first, he probably wasn't expecting that, but then he groaned and started enjoying that. Blaine continued for another five minutes with that, until he felt Kurt completely relaxed under him.

"Better?"

"Hmm." Blaine took it as a yes and slipped his arms around Kurt. He moved closer, hugging him tightly from the back. Kurt leaned against Blaine's body and let his head fell back on Blaine's shoulder, when he nuzzled against Kurt's shoulder and put his arms on Blaine's.

This moment was perfect in so many ways. Kurt seemed more than fine with that: he wasn't uncomfortable or tensed. They could finally be close to each other after another long day and that's really all they needed then. Blaine could even smell the soap of Kurt's clothes. And of course, Blaine didn't feel unconscious because of his lack of height since Kurt was sitting..

They stayed like that for a while, Blaine couldn't tell for how long exactly. It could have been just a few minutes, but it also could have been few hours before Blaine decided speak.

"I've noticed that you are really tensed and spent in school.."

Kurt shrugged. "I still don't feel safe there."

Blaine felt a little confused. "But Karofsky's gone.."

"But the feeling like someone is haunting me, is still there."

Blaine straightened himself a little and tightened his grip. He wondered if Kurt should talk about that with a professional but as he remembered his first dinner at Hummel-Hudson's he decided not to mention that right now.

"I would never, _ever_ let anyone hurt you, remember that," Blaine said instead and planted a kiss on Kurt's neck. He could feel Kurt smiling.

"I can't ask you that.." Kurt tried to say, but Blaine cut him off.

"You're not asking.."

With that, Kurt tensed again. Feeling more confused, Blaine removed his arms around Kurt and moved away, immediately missing the warmth of the boy's body.

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked as Kurt turned around on his seat to face Blaine. He felt bad as he saw that his serious tone had made Kurt unconscious and a little shaky. He cupped Kurt's face, somehow trying to make it better. "You know you can tell me anything," Blaine added with much warmer tone when Kurt didn't answer. "Please, just don't shut me down."

Kurt nodded to that and Blaine could see how Kurt melted, feeling slightly safer now.

"Remember when I told you about Rachel and we talked about.. you being a spy.." he spoke quietly, even sadly maybe.

Blaine nodded. He wasn't really thrilled to hear that they would have to talk about _that_ again.

"Well.. you said that you would go back to Dalton if I don't feel comfortable with you being here."

Blaine's hands fell down to Kurt's shoulders. _Oh god, no, please no_.

Kurt didn't continue. He stopped talking, just watching into Blaine's eyes like he would have to guess. A tear ran down on Kurt's cheek when Blaine finally understood what Kurt was trying to say.

"D-do you.. want me to go?" Blaine asked but he thought that he already knew the answer. He could feel how his heart raced and almost brought tears into his eyes too.

Kurt swallowed. "I.. don't know," he answered. Kurt was close to breaking down and for some wicked reason Blaine felt responsible. "Maybe.."

Blaine sighed heavily and turned away from Kurt. So was that it? He really had to transfer back although he didn't want to. How did this perfect moment turned into _this _at the first place? Damn, it was Blaine's fault, he realized.

"You know, I could just quit the New Directions," Blaine uttered quietly as he walked to the other side of courtier.

Kurt turned to look at him and Blaine tried his best ignore Kurt's gaze.

"I don't think that this is the problem actually," Kurt said then.

Blaine stared at Kurt for a long time, before he understood the meaning of Kurt's words. These words didn't make sense anyway. "Wha - what?"

"I'm not uncomfortable with you being in New Directions." Kurt explained with shaky voice. "I don't think that you're a spy. But when you said that you would go.. my first thought was if I could lie and make you go back to Dalton this way and keep you safe."

"Oh god." Now Blaine understood. Now he understood, although he had hoped that they wouldn't have to discuss it anymore. "Kurt, we've been through this. I don't care about the bullying," he uttered as leaned on the courtier. He needed to lean on something because of the rush of fear and sadness that had just been in his body. He couldn't blame Kurt of course, he could never mad at him.

"ButIcare about _you_," Kurt stated then with the strongest voice he had. Blaine stilled. "Call me crazy but I care about you too much, so that's why I wanted to lie to you and make you go back to Dalton."

But he didn't lie, because the idea of Blaine leaving hurt too much, Blaine concluded remembering what else Kurt told him that day. Blaine didn't say anything, just simply looked into Kurt's blue eyes. This moment felt kind of surreal, because Blaine hadn't really believed Kurt when he said that he loved him for the first time. Blaine had wondered if maybe Kurt had just answered him without really meaning these words. But now.. he didn'tquestion that anymore.

"I won't call you crazy," Blaine said after the silence and took Kurt's right hand tightly into his, holding it safely on the courtier that kept their bodies apart. "I won't call you crazy, because I know the feeling.."

Kurt didn't seem to understand what Blaine had exactly meant with that and smiled. This time it was Kurt, who stood up and moved closer to Blaine. He pulled Blaine into a tight and loving hug . _Ah, why am I still so short?_

"I love you," Blaine breathed feeling so the weight of the world disappearing from his shoulders. Maybe these little arguments they had were meant to be like that: solving the problems that they didn't know they were having..

"I love you too," Kurt answered.

"I know."

* * *

"You know you could fight those bullies," Blaine said later that night when they were pressed closed to each other at the living room's sofa.

Kurt shot him a confused look.

"You would have the power for that as the class president."

"Hah, I don't think so," Kurt answered with his usual sarcastic tone. Blaine was too used with that to take it personally.

"Why not? You have what it takes.." Blaine continued.

"Blaine." It was enough to have Blaine's full attention. "It's a great idea, but I don't think I can do this."

"You wouldn't be alone..."

Kurt smiled at that, moved closer to kiss gently and turned his head back to the TV. _He'll think about it._


	19. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Blaine looked at the musical's auditioning list next day. Rachel had signed up, with a golden star next to her name, so had Mercedes. There was Mike's name, but it was written with girl's handwriting, probably Tina's. Blaine had learned quickly that Mike and Tina were really close as a couple and he really wanted to compare himself and Kurt with them. It was difficult though and Blaine knew that he shouldn't take this personally. Kurt had too any ghosts haunting him to completely open up for everything and it wasn't safe for them in public anyway.

"Are you going to audition?" a girls voice almost gave Blaine a heart attack.

Rachel pried him with curiosity, not really trying to hide it.

"Uhm, I don't know," Blaine answered when he finally got over the shock. Why was she talking with him? "Maybe.." Blaine started walking towards to his next class, but he could feel Rachel following him.

"And what role do you have in mind?" Rachel asked as she stepped next to him. Blaine couldn't help but be surprised about Rachel's height. She was kind of a hobbit too, why hadn't he noticed it before?

"Tony."

Rachel hummed and bit her lip with a concerned look on her face. They walked like that for a little while, not saying a word, which was weird, because Rachel was always talking..

She was probably auditioning for the role of Mariah so Blaine understood Rachel's concern: Tony and Mariah are the main characters, so it would be a little weird for them to work together so much. Another reason for Blaine not audition..

"But like I said," Blaine said then. "I'm not sure, I have a lot in my mind right now and I don't know if I will have time for this." This was a completely true actually. Blaine just didn't want to do a musical when Kurt wasn't in it.

Rachel's face changed immediately, Blaine could tell although he didn't couldn't see her expression completely.

"Oh, I'm sure," she sighed sarcastically. Remembering what Kurt had told him about Rachel, Blaine knew, what was behind that sigh. But then Blaine remembered other things that Kurt had talked about, and it finally hit Blaine:

"Hey, Rachel, do you know what colleges you will apply for?"

Rachel stilled and stopped, looking at Blaine with questioning wide eyes.

"It's just that I know that you and Kurt have the same kind of dreams, but it seems that Kurt has now future plans.." he tried to explain. Blaine hadn't talked with Kurt about that anymore. The previous evening had been full of emotions for both of them, so Blaine didn't want to go there.

"Oh," Rachel mumbled and continued walking. "Well, I've been thinking about NYADA in New York, but it's not easy to get in there, so I'm not sure.."

They were almost by the classroom, where Blaine headed. He knew that Kurt should be here any second too.

"Okay, Rachel," Blaine stopped them this time few seconds later with a serious tone. "I know that it's going to sound weird since you think that I'm using Kurt to spy on New Directions," Rachel's eyes narrowed with surprise. "And you and Kurt don't really get along, but could you please but it all beside for a second and help Kurt."

"Why the hell should I do _that_?"

"Because Kurt is terribly sorry and feeling guilty for the things he said to you in New York but he has too many bumps in the road to apologize right now."

"What are you talking abo-"

"He doesn't want to apologize because you don't like me. But that's not important right now," Blaine's voice was rushing. He wasn't sure, how Kurt would react if he saw him talking with Rachel. "I want you to tell Kurt about NYADA and maybe even.. convince him to apply."

Rachel looked surprised, exactly like Blaine expected, but not shocked. Just _very_ surprised.

"You really do love him, don't you?" she mumbled after an awkward silence, her eyes still on Blaine who barely heard her.

"What?"

"You really love him," Rachel stated with surprised tone, like she wasn't sure if she could believe herself. "You really love him and you're not a spy."

Blaine swallowed and nodded, not sure how to response to that. For a second he wondered if she was trying to test him or she really understood that now.

"Okay, I'll do it," Rachel agreed then. "But I can't promise anything."

"Good, I don't expect you to.."

"I would be glad, if you were my Tony," Rachel smiled lightly before turning around and walking away. Blaine watched her go, until Kurt's quiet voice called him.

* * *

Blaine wasn't how, but somehow the glee club started discussion about this year's class president race in the lunch table. He could feel Kurt tensing up next to him and he felt little guilty.

"Kurt should totally run for class president," Brittany stated out of nowhere. Kurt froze and swallowed. Slowly he turned his head to Blaine and then to Brittany. Blaine shot a secretive and winking look at Tina, who just shrugged.

"That's a great idea," Rachel answered when no one else didn't know how to react. It was often like that: everybody stilled when somebody said something about Kurt, as if they would be afraid to say something wrong.

"I think so too," Tina agreed, but Blaine already knew that.

Kurt pressed his lips together and blushed, trying to ignore everybody's glances.

"Have you thought about it?" Blaine asked quietly and carefully.

Kurt wrinkled and shook his head. He clearly felt uncomfortable about this situation and Blaine wondered if his question had made it worse.

"Why Kurt, Birttany?" Santana asked then.

"Kurt is special, he is an unicorn. It would be totally awesome if an unicorn could run the school."

Even though Brittany's words were kind of nuts, it made sense to Blaine. He found it even beautiful and he couldn't agree with her more. Kurt blushed even more next to him, so Blaine put his hand on top of his, squeezing it a little and smiled when Kurt found his eyes at looked right into them. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to hold hands in the lunch room, where jocks were constantly glancing at them, but Blaine really didn't care.

Everybody dropped the Kurt topic after that when Santana said that Brittany should run for the president and Kurt relaxed.

"Have you thought about it?" Blaine asked again after lunch when he walked with Kurt down the hall to their next class.

"A little," Kurt answered. "But it's a big decision."

They walked by the bulletin board and Kurt's eyes narrowed instantly to the musical's audition list as he stopped.

"Why haven't you signed up?" he inquired and looked at Blaine with confusion, his right hand pointing at the paper.

Blaine stilled. He wasn't sure if the truth was something that Kurt actually wanted to hear.

"Uhm.." Blaine mumbled and bit his lip. "I'm not sure if I really want it.."

"I thought you wanted the role of Tony's.."

"I'm still thinking about it.."

"What's there to think? You would be perfect for the role!"

Blaine sighed and didn't response, just looked at his boyfriend, trying to make him to just drop it.

"Blaine, please," Kurt begged with kind of whining voice. "I know that you're not telling me something. Just tell me why don't want to sign up right now?"

Blaine thought about Kurt's question for a moment as he almost walked over and wrote his name to the audition list so he wouldn't have to answer to that question.

"I don't want to be part of musical if you're not," he answered anyways, regretting it instantly, because Kurt's face softened with wide eyes. Kurt didn't react right away, just let his hand fall down.

"Wha- that's insane, Blaine! You can't let go of this opportunity just because of me.."

"I'm not," Blaine assured. "I'm doing this for myself. I just want to be with you as much as I can and the musical would take the time away."

"Then I'll audition too.."

"No, Kurt, you can't!" Blaine almost exhaled. Kurt turned to look at him with a frown. "I mean, you've got a lot going on and I can't ask you that."

Kurt stood there for a second and seemed to think about Blaine's words. Then sighed, dropped it and started walking again.

* * *

It wasn't until later this week, when Rachel talked with Kurt. Blaine didn't blame Rachel, he had heard that her life wasn't exactly easy at the moment too as her birthmother who had abandoned her when she was just born was now one of the teacher at this school because of some rich girl, who couldn't cope with rejection. Blaine watched how Rachel walked over Kurt after another glee club practice and said something. He couldn't hear them.

They talked for a while and Blaine waited. He really tried not to watch them too much because Kurt could easily figure out that Blaine was behind this but he still saw Kurt's surprise and Rachel's nervous face as she talked and how she relaxed later. But Blaine could tell that Kurt figured out it anyway him when Kurt's kind of surprised, kind of mad looking face turned to Blaine after a while. Kurt shot a final light smile at Rachel, before nodding and turning his back to the girl to walk towards Blaine.

"Kurt.." Blaine tried to apologize carefully, because Kurt seemed upset. Boy ignored his voice and rushed by him. Blaine followed him quickly through the halls. Kurt's direction was weird: the classes were over but he walked quite opposite of the school's exit. "Kurt, wait!"

Kurt didn't stop until the bulletin board, where he quickly pulled out a pen and wrote a name to the musicals audition list.

"What are you doing?" Blaine asked. "We talked about this, I don't want you to audition.."

He stepped closer and saw that instead of just Kurt's name: there was also Blaine's name too.

"Well I want to," Kurt said and put the pent away.

"Kurt.." Blaine got really used with repeating that name.

Kurt didn't let him speak though: "Look Blaine, you've been looking after me from the start and I can't find enough words to explain how much you've helped me although you don't even know everything about me yet. I mean, you're not only here for me, but you also worry about my _future _just because I can't. So this is me trying to _show_you how much you've helped me over these few months and looking after _you_."

Blaine stilled, thinking about Kurt's words unable to say anything back. He was speechless.

"Now if it's okay with you, I want you to audition for the musical with me, because I'm quite sure that this is something that you could write to your own college application," Kurt continued and that was enough for Blaine to convince him and make him kiss his boyfriend lovingly, trying to express all his emotions with a this.

The kiss was unexpected for both of them, but especially for Kurt who squealed. Yes, they tried not to show too much affection in public, but school was almost empty anyways and Blaine was beyond caring for that that moment.


	20. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

"So have you thought about NYADA?" Rachel asked before another booty camp when October started to roll around. Kurt startled at her voice. It just came out of nowhere and it was still a little weird to talk with her.

"I have," Kurt answered and he didn't even lie. He really had with those last few weeks. "And I'm extremely thankful for you but I don't believe that I'm good enough to get in.."

"You're ridiculous," Rachel stated with the strong voice. "You're amazing and you know that."

Kurt stilled at her words. "I never thought I would hear _this_ coming from Rachel Berry."

Rachel shrugged. "Well, you made sure I'd know that in our sophomore year."

Kurt swallowed, feeling quilt building up in his chest along with kind of funny memory. This reminded him that he and Rachel still weren't exactly friends. Sure, they could talk more freely now but Kurt hadn't even apologized for yelling at her in New York. He really wanted to apologize, he did, but he couldn't find any right moment for that. Was there even a right moment for apologizing?

"Thank you Rachel, but let's face it," Kurt said then and turned to look into her eyes. It wasn't easy, looking directly at Rachel was rather tense. "I would have nothing to write into my application. I mean, for example, you'll have the lead of school's musical, but I have _nothing_."

Rachel nodded and Kurt assumed that it was the end of their discussion when he turned away from her but Rachel's voice echoed behind him again.

"You know, it doesn't have to _stay_ for nothing," she uttered. "You could still run for the class president."

Kurt groaned and stopped to turn at her again. He didn't like talking about this, not even with Blaine who was chatting with Mike few meters away from them.

"And run against Brittany, who happens to be one of the most popular girls in the school?" he inquired. "It would be fighting for the battle that I already lost."

"But why do you assume, that it's the end of the war, Kurt?" Rachel exhaled in frustration which made Blaine shot them a worried look.

Kurt watched girl in shock but Rachel just breathed and closed her eyes for a moment before speaking again. "This is the saddest part of you. You don't fight anymore, you're not _the _Kurt Hummel, you're just.. Kurt."

For some reason these words made Kurt ache in pain. For some reason these hurt him.

"Brittany is just a very popular but not so smart blonde girl, who probably won't even graduate," Rachel continued with lowered voice as she made sure that no one could hear her. "You can do so much better that her."

Kurt blinked twice before he realized that Rachel had finished and Mike started with the camp. It was an awful morning to hear Mr. Shuester yelling at Mercedes, but all that Kurt could remember was Rachel and her words.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked later that day when Kurt had stopped in front of Brittany's poster on the wall. "You've been really quiet today and now you're.. staring at Brittany's poster. Plus, I'm pretty sure I saw you staring at it before."

Kurt shook his head and started walking again Blaine by his side.

"I want to run for the class president, I really do," Kurt admitted then with a heavy sigh.

"But..?"

"But I don't think that I can beat Brittany, she's too amazing. And there's the thing that Rachel said that I'm just Kurt now and even though I know I've changed, it still hurt and.."

"Kurt, stop," Blaine said. "Stop and listen to me."

Kurt stopped the rambling and tried to breathe as Blaine turned to put his hands on Kurt's shoulders.

"Kurt Hummel, for the start: _you_ are amazing too. You. Are. Amazing. You hear me?"

Kurt smiled. "You're the boyfriend so it's kind of your job to tell me that."

Blaine smiled back but didn't pull his hands away. He just lowered those and stilled them at Kurt's arms.

"Well, it's not the only reason I'm saying that. You really _are_ amazing. And you can beat Brittany if _you_ want. I mean, don't give me wrong, but she's performing songs to girls to get their votes. If you ask me.. she's fighting for void reasons. And what's that with you not being Kurt? What the hell did Rachel say?"

"Nothing," Kurt shrugged and Blaine let him go as they started walking again. "Basically the same old cramp of how much I've changed and how I don't fight for stuff anymore.."

Blaine didn't respond, just nodded. They walked in silence and Kurt couldn't help but wonder if he and Blaine would still be together if Kurt hadn't changed. Would Blaine still think that he's amazing if he still was a snarky diva?

* * *

While Rachel and Mercedes auditioned for the role of Maria, Kurt tried to make a decision about running for the class president. Days were tough and tense because Mercedes got upset and tight about the audition as she wanted to do everything she could to get the role and Kurt started to run out of time with the decision making. It still doesn't stop him from stopping by the florist one day before the school when Blaine can't pick him up in the morning and buy some roses. Blaine smiles brightly through the rest of the day.

"Mr. Shue, if I may?" Kurt says when the teacher enters the choir room that day. "I have an announcement to make."

Mr. Shuester nodded and gave his permission with that. Kurt stood up while Blaine giave him a confused look.

"So I just wanted to let you guys know, that I've decided to run for the class president," Kurt stated nervously. "I've been thinking about it for weeks and I'm going to stop by coach Beiste office later."

A happy cheer follows his words so he doesn't have to say anything else.

"I'm so happy for you!" Tina smiled and clapped merrily revealing the small girl inside of her.

"Good for you," Rachel said with fulfilled countenance. Kurt knew what she was thinking about.

"I'm proud of you," Blaine sighed with relief and stood to hug him tightly.

Kurt didn't sit, when the cheers ended.

"And I would also like to wish good luck to Brittany," he uttered and shot her a brief smile. "I really hope that it's going to be a fair fight and the best will win."

Although Kurt was still nervous when he sat, he also felt so much better when Blaine's hand rested on his knee, encouraging him like that.

* * *

Things changed somehow better, Kurt felt better. Blaine had already helped him with some campaign ideas and it felt nice but he was still a little bothered by Rachel. He didn't feel exactly hurt or offended but he was still just as guilty.

"Hey can you do something for me?" Kurt asked Blaine the next day.

"Of course, anything," Blaine replied. It was actually a little scary how much Blaine would have agreed to do for him but Kurt started to get used with it.

"Can you tell Rachel to come to auditorium in like.. twenty minutes or so?"

Blaine looked surprised but he didn't question. He knew that he'll hear about it later.

"Sure," Blaine simply said and smiled.

* * *

Twenty minutes later Rachel entered the auditorium with suspicious and confused face.

"Hey," she greeted when she noticed Kurt sitting and waiting her by the stage. "You wanted me to meet me here..?"

Kurt shot a smile at her and showed him a broom. He didn't realize until later how weird it had probably seemed to Rachel at first. It's doesn't happen every day when someone waits for you in auditorium with a broom in his hands after all.

"Do you mind singing with me?" he asked and winked.

"Wicked?"

"Wicked," Kurt assured and gave him a broom and a hat.

So they sing. And dance like they've been best friends for a long time, like they aren't enemies. Like there wasn't anything between them that could prevent their friendship.

"So I'm assuming that you will be applying for NYADA with me?" Rachel asked carefully when the song ends.

Kurt shrugged and bit his lip. "I don't know about that for sure, that depends on if I'll win the race for the class president or not."

"Then why did you want to meet me here?"

Kurt took a deep breath before answering.

"Because I wanted to apologize. I've been wanting to do this for weeks for now, but I couldn't find any good moment for that and then I figured that there isn't any great time for that so I just decided to.."

"Make that moment by yourself," Rachel finished his sentence and nodded understandably.

"Yeah, well, that was the closest I could get to the Broadway stage we sang in New York and I felt like I should try to take back some time for that," Kurt continued and tried his best to look into her eyes. Although he didn't felt exactly comfortable with that, it wasn't so hard anymore. "So I'm sorry for pushing you away last year, when you were there for the way that nobody was. And I'm sorry for yelling at you in New York. The fact we lost wasn't your fault. Or Finn's."

The corners of Rachel's mouth lifted up to a small but cute smile.

"Well, it's not like you're the only one who didn't want to do anything with me," she said then and Kurt couldn't help but laugh lightly. It was true, most people really avoided her in her sophomore year.

Rachel walked over to him and pulled Kurt to a hug.

"So you don't hate me anymore?" Kurt guessed. He could feel how Rachel's body laughed against his.

"I never hated you, Kurt."

* * *

"Hey Kurt have you heard?" Coach Beiste called over the hall the next day when he started with putting the posters up. "You have one more competitior."

Kurt felt a shudder in his stomach. _Well, that shouldn't be something too shocking,_ he told himself. After all, this was a race.

"Who?"

"Rachel Berry," coach answered and kept walking. She didn't even see how Kurt stilled and how his eyes widened with shock.

_WHAT?_Kurt heard Blaine groan next to him and felt his worrying look. He tried to say something but Kurt wasn't listening.

He couldn't believe it He just couldn't! How she even dared? And what game was she playing? Kurt felt confused and more hurt than at the start of the week.

Without really knowing what he did, Kurt walked away from Blaine and found Rachel's locker, Rachel standing right there.

"When were you going to tell me?" he asked when he walked over there.

"Ku-Kurt," Rachel stuttered but Kurt didn't really let her talk.

"You know, for a second I thought you actually _wanted_ me to apply for NYADA with you," Kurt rambled with anger and confusion, "I actually thought that even though Blaine was the one who asked you do this, you actually cared enough. I thought that that was the reason why you convinced me to run for this damn class president."

"I did, I do, but Kurt, you don't understand.."

"Then what the hell Rachel?"

"You don't understand, _I _need this for NYADA too! This will be the way to Broadway.."

"Don't you realize that I'm not doing it for NYADA? I'm not just doing it for my own good, for my own dreams. I'm doing it because I want to change things around here. I _could _change things around here! Do you realize that ten years down the track, you will realize what you've done and what friends you've left behind? Do you realize that _then_ you won't give a crap if you're standing in the middle of the Broadway stage or not!"

With that Kurt finished. He was panting because he didn't exactly breath during his furious speech. He didn't even exactly understand his words until he was finished.

He is too angry to let Rachel talk again so he turn his back to Rachel and walk back to Blaine.


	21. Chapter 20

**AN: AREN'T WE ALL HAPPY FOR THE BOX SCENE?! I literally cried when I saw that Ryan Murphy had actually uploaded it! :)**

* * *

Chapter 20

October turned out crazy and really tiring. Mercedes had quit the New Directions, the musical was almost canceled, Burt had decided to run against Sue, things were complicated between Kurt and Rachel and Blaine had more attacks from Finn and Santana. Kurt had expected slushies and mean names when Blaine transferred to McKinley but he hadn't expected this kind of meanness from the members of the glee club. GLEE CLUB! The club where everybody should have been accepted!

They both were also busy with musical's rehearsals and Blaine did his best to help Kurt with his campaigns to what Kurt was really grateful for. After school they would almost always go to Kurt's house to do their homework together and cuddle or just watch TV afterwards. Sometimes it was Blaine's house instead, so Kurt had to face his fears and meet more Blaine's parents. After few dinners with them it became easier and Kurt had to admit that they were actually really nice people.

So while everything else in Kurt's life was quite messy and busy, he and Blaine grew much stronger with that month. They showed more affection to each other, even in public although they both knew how dangerous it could turn out. Kurt started to feel more comfortable with that and kissing with Blaine felt much more enjoyable. Not that he didn't enjoy it before, now he could just drown into this without worries or second thoughts. Now and then, when they had privacy (Burt had finally given up with the open door thing when Kurt had simply hinted to him, that they can't get pregnant), the usual cuddling would often turn into some kind of make out session. It wasn't something too big in Kurt's mind: it wasn't hot or steamy, it was mostly just sweet kissing in bed and they would _always _stop before things started heading up.

But now, Kurt couldn't help but wonder what would happen if they wouldn't stop. More and more he started to notice Blaine's body: his strong hands (boxing had shaped those well), his hips and neck what Kurt would like to kiss (or suck). Also Blaine's thighs and legs and of course his ass. It wasn't exactly easy to miss those things when they both had to change clothes before and after the gym class _in the same room_: although they both respected each other's privacy Kurt still couldn't help but look at least _something_.

So sometimes after another long evening with Blaine's kisses when Kurt was safely tucked in his bed, everybody else in the house already asleep, he would let his mind.. go_ there_. It was a little weird at first and he even felt kind of guilty but he really couldn't help it. And Kurt had to admit to himself that he really wanted Blaine to be his first. And he wanted to be Blaine's first. Kurt knew that it was still early to think about it so seriously because they had been dating less than four months and they were already moving a little too fast. After all, they were each other's firsts boyfriends and both of them inexperienced with the whole dating thing. But Kurt couldn't help but wonder what they would be if he had transferred to Dalton last year. Or at least if he had gone to spy after Warblers like Puck wanted him to. Where would they be now, if they had met earlier?

"Do you think I'm boring?" Kurt spoke up finally on the first week of November when watching Blaine dance like that in front of him made him think about.. things again.

"Are you kidding me? You're the single most interesting kid in _all _of Ohio," Blaine answered.

Kurt sat up, feeling a little nervous about this but said it anyways: "I mean like.. sexually." With one single word, he has Blaine's attention. "I mean we're playing it very safe by not granting our hands visas to travel south of the equator."

Blaine's dancing changed but he didn't stop, just looked at Kurt with curiosity, obviously feeling confused.

„But I thought, that's what we wanted. I mean, we've been together like.. four months, isn't it like a little early for that?" he asked

„It is what we wanted," Kurt assured then. „And it probably is early but I'm just wondering, don't you ever have the urge just to rip off each other's clothes and get dirty? I mean, after all we both know that we are just like other teenagers with.. hormones."

Blaine chuckled light to that as he said: "Yeah, well that's why they invented masturbation."

Kurt felt the blood in his face boiling up and he was sure that Blaine noticed it. "It's so hot in here. Can we open up a window, it's—"

"Hey, I'm serious!" Blaine stated then and started crawling to bed next to Kurt. "I mean we're young. Yeah, we have urges. But whatever we do, I just want to make sure that you're comfortable… so I can be comfortable," Blaine looked down on Kurt with sincerity, his hand on Kurt's back. It felt comfortable, this moment really felt perfect and his words were so sweet. "But yeah, you're kind of right. I don't think that the time of us dating will be the factor since the hormones are doing their work and we are in a healthy relationship, so don't take this personally or something but I know that it might be more.. difficult for you that it is for me."

Kurt swallowed hard, understanding exactly Blaine's words. He felt his heart sinking as the guilt and embarrassment overflowed, making him regret he brought it up at the first place.

* * *

Kurt remembered their awkward conversation but he didn't have much time to think about it because of his currently busy life. He was actually glad he was busy, because he didn't want to remember. Sometimes Kurt hated how much Blaine knew him, he knew how ignorant Kurt had been about sex. But this was _months ago!_ And it wasn't like he didn't know anything then neither, he just wasn't thinking about it.

Blaine had almost said himself that Kurt wasn't ready. Blaine thought that Kurt wasn't ready because he had made Burt talk to Kurt about sex and even though Kurt knew that Blaine was just as virgin as he was, now he felt even more inexperienced.

Kurt felt a little hurt and crashed when he saw Blaine sitting in Lima Bean with this guy, _Sebastian_, later that week. The guy wore Dalton uniform, probably also a Warbler so Kurt couldn't blame Blaine wanting to chat with him. But yes, Kurt admitted to himself, he was jealous because this guy was hot _and_ gay and obviously interested in Blaine, so Kurt felt like he didn't deserve Blaine. Not when Sebastian wanted Blaine like that. And Sebastian looked a lot more experienced so why wouldn't Blaine want him back? Kurt was nobody, just a lady boy who still couldn't bring himself to wear something more fashionable because of some bullies.

Kurt sat next to Blaine, feeling nervous as hell. He agreed on going to Scandals because of Blaine, really trying not to regret it. With just this one day, they grew distant again, Kurt could feel it. Blaine didn't seem to notice it since he was busy with talking about Sebastian and Sebasitan's fabulous life.

"Is that your boyfriend?" a deep, a little scary voice asked when Kurt was sitting alone by the bar and watched painfully how Blaine and Sebastian were dancing.

Kurt smiled when he understood whose voice it was. It's a little weird to smile to David Karofsky but in that moment, he couldn't care less. It actually felt kind of nice to talk with him. To know, that David is fine, still in the closet but taking baby steps. It was kind of comforting to have somebody to talk with him when Kurt felt so down.

So he didn't get up immediately to press himself between Sebastian and Blaine but he did eventually.

* * *

Everything turned into worse and Kurt almost cried himself to sleep that night. _Blaine had actually wanted to have sex with him_ but Kurt turned him down. And god, he felt horrible. What if Blaine never wanted him again? What if Blaine wants to leave Kurt and go to Sebastian's?

Kurt knew that he couldn't take the break up now. He was still too weak for that and Blaine was his spine that held him up every day. He barely slept that night which is why it was very difficult to make through the opening night of West Side Story.

They didn't talk, both of them were too busy with last minute's rehearsals and dressing and make up. Kurt ignored looking at Blaine because he couldn't take this now. He had to make through the musical with his performance before he could fall apart again. They didn't even wish good luck to each other..

He knew Blaine was there, when everybody else had left. He could hear how Blaine practiced some dance steps. He tried to find all of his courage and walked by the stage, feeling really nervous. It felt like the end and Kurt had to know if it's official so he could just get it over with.

"Shouldn't you be out celebrating?"

"Going over this move. I messed it up tonight. I know I can do better," Blaine answered, avoiding the eye contact and that made Kurt even more hurt.

"Beauty of the stage. You get to do it all over again tomorrow night…" Kurt said with a shaky voice. He was really close to crying again but he did his best to manage the brave face. "I personally thought both you guys were perfect."

"Thank you," Blaine stopped and looked at him, "Your officer Krupke killed. Brought the house down."

"Well, I can't help but pull focus. Sorry," he tried to joke, although he didn't feel like joking at all.

"Don't apologize…It was great."

Silence. They didn't say anything for a moment, just looked at each other, so Kurt decided to brought it up himself.

"All your friends were here tonight," he started. "the Warblers.. Sebastian."

Blaine's expression was kind of worried and sad.

"Come here," he almost commanded to that and Kurt obligated slowly. "Give me your hand; hold it to your heart."

_Wait, what?!_

"Like the song?" Kurt questioned, feeling slightly confused.

"Like the song," Blaine repeated. "Sebastian doesn't mean _anything_ to me," he started, unequivocal, "and you were right. Our first time shouldn't be like that. I was drunk… And I'm sorry. You're not ready and I understand that."

Kurt gulped, feeling more and more bewildered.

"Wait, you're _not_ breaking up with me?!" he managed to say with a whisper. That's when Blaine abashed.

"Why the hell should _I_ want to break up with you?!" he asked. "I'd understand if _you_ wanted to, but.."

"Because of Sebastian," Kurt cut him off. "Because he is hot and fabulous and _experienced_ and I'm still just a wreck.."

Kurt didn't have a chance to continue because Blaine covered his mouth with lips. Kurt forgot everything he wanted to say for a moment.

"Oh, Kurt," Blaine cried and tried to pull Kurt closer when the kiss ended. "I'm _so_ sorry, I didn't have no idea," he said. "I never meant.. Kurt _I love you_ and Sebastian really means nothing to me. _You_ are my everything and god I'm not even sure if I want to know what else you thought."

Kurt shrugged, feeling a little better now but still unsure. "Oh god, I thought you were going to break up with me."

And Blaine kissed him again, longer this time and somehow Kurt understood what Blaine tried to say. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck and kissed him back with passion.

"You take my breath away," he whispered when they broke off. They held each other close for a long time, words unnecessary before Blaine spoke again.

"Artie is having an after party at Breadstix," he said quietly. "Will you accompany me?"

Kurt swallowed and bit his lip, trying to decide what to answer.

"Actually," he started little nervously. He had to take a deep breath before he could continue. "Actually I was hoping if we could.. go to your house tonight. Your parents are away, right?" Kurt remembered something what Blaine had said few days earlier.

Blaine pressed his lips together, thinking about it for a moment before he answered.

"Okay."

* * *

**AN: I know the last part of this chapter is kind of weird and unrealistic but I promise to clear that in the next chapter. **

**Thank you all for reading! :)  
**


	22. Chapter 21

**AN: I'm sorry, it's quite late (again). I must say, I'm rather busy these days because I was in this music camp kind of thing and I tried to post it before that but I just couldn't finish it proparately plus I also have some babysitting duties. I had a reallly bad day today (mostly because of these spoilers that came out, I literally cried) so I'm really proud of myself right now for getting it done tonight.. Also: it will probably take some time to also get the next one up because I have two more music camps with the next 2 weeks and the school starts to roll around again etc..  
**

**Alert for some seriously sickening fluff but I think that everyone who had seen/heard the spoilers need it..  
**

* * *

Chapter 21

They drove to Blaine's house separately, just like they had arrived to the musical earlier that day. Blaine wasn't sure why he felt nervous. Maybe it was because Kurt had just suggested a quiet night and that confused Blaine a little.

Blaine wanted to ask if Kurt was planning to stay the night. He wanted to know why Kurt had suggested this arrangement at the first place but he didn't ask. Blaine didn't have the nerve to ask yet and that actually made him even more nervous.

Blaine waited until Kurt parked his car, then opened the door for him. Kurt simply smiled and let Blaine to lock their hands together once he was out of the car.

"You want something to eat.. or drink?" Blaine asked because he almost always asked that when they arrived to his house.

Kurt shook his head and that's when Blaine noticed that he wasn't the only one who was nervous for some reason. But Kurt wasn't just nervous, he looked more like someone who could have a panic attack.

"Hey, you okay?" Blaine worried and step closer to him. He took his face between his two hands to look straightly into the blue eyes. Kurt closed those eyes for a second, looking a little shaky now and took a deep breath before he smiled again.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he answered. "Could we just.. lie down or something?"

Blaine hesitated for a second, but agreed anyway. "Yeah, sure. I'm going to get a class of water for myself. Meet you upstairs?"

Kurt nodded quite blankly and turned to walk upstairs while Blaine stepped into the kitchen. He poured some water into the class and took a few sips.

Something was weird, different between them. He wondered if it was because of him: because of his behavior or because of Sebastian. Blaine felt guilty for not noticing the problem before and he couldn't stop beating himself up for what he had done to Kurt.

Kurt had already lied down to bed when Blaine got there. Blaine could've sworn that he saw a tear coming out of his boyfriend's eye but he wiped it away as soon as he noticed Blaine's presence.

"Are you sure you're fine?" Blaine questioned again, really carefully this time and removed his vest and shirt before crawling into the bed next to Kurt, feeling much more comfortable with just an undershirt.

"Yeah, I'm just.. getting over a shock," Kurt said when Blaine lied down. "You know, since I was prepared for the worst..

"Kurt," Blaine sighed and curled his hand around other boy's waist to pull him closer. "I don't.. know how to say how sorry I am, I di-didn't mean to.."

"I know you didn't," Kurt interrupted. "I know, it was just me and insecurity, so don't worry."

Blaine nodded but he certainly couldn't stop worrying.

"I love you, I just want you to know that."

"Love you too," Kurt smiled and leaned closer. Blaine quickly closed the gap between them for a sweet and simple kiss.

They stayed like that for a while: faces really close but not really connected, something like eskimo kiss. Blaine took Kurt's wrist to hold and their knees touched lightly.

"Your eyes are so beautiful," Blaine breathed suddenly really quietly before he could even control his own words. There was no way that Kurt didn't hear that: they were too close for that.

Kurt smiled brightly again since his previous smile had died down and blushed. Blaine thought that he could stay there for forever. He could just lie there with his boyfriend on his bed while Kurt smiles and just watch him. They were both relaxed, without any kind of tension in the air.

"Blaine?" Kurt mumbled little later into the silence.

"Hm?"

"Would you kiss me again?"

Kurt's request surprised Blaine but he was more than happy to obligate. They kissed again, a little longer this time but just as lightly as before because of the position until Kurt leaned closer with the rest of his body and deepened the kiss. Blaine could feel this different kind of desire from Kurt's body when the boy stood a little and crawled over Blaine. It was unusual for Kurt to be on the top and when Kurt grew more eager Blaine started to lose control. The kisses were messier and sloppier and they barely broke for air.

"Kurt," Blaine whined then, trying to pull away but it wasn't so easy. "Kurt, we need to stop."

Kurt froze and stopped but stayed close. Blaine thought that he noticed some kind of hurt in Kurt's eyes.

"Wha-what if I said that we don't?" Kurt stuttered then. "What if I said that I would be fine if we didn't stop?"

Now was Blaine the one who didn't know how to move. Kurt's words echoed in his ears.

Did Kurt just.. Had Kurt just said that? Did Kurt requested.. _sex_? Because as sudden as it sounded, that's what it was. Kurt had just said that he was ready for more. And the fact that Blaine was ready as well and Kurt knew it was a little scary.

"Look," Kurt said when Blaine didn't react. "I'm not saying that we should start.. doing stuff right away, I'm just saying that if you want we can at least.. discuss it."

Blaine stood to sit. Kurt tried to shift himself to get off of him but Blaine pulled him back so he stayed on Blaine's lap.

"Kurt are you-"

"Yes I'm sure. If you don't want to go there yet then just say so, I understand."

"No, that's not it," Blaine gulped feeling his heart racing once again. He could barely make himself to watch directly into Kurt's eyes. "I just.. I'm just _really _confused, I mean I thought you needed time or something.."

"Yeah, I got that," Kurt said and put his arms on Blaine's shoulders. "I've been thinking about it.. for a while and er.. when my dad gave me _the talk__,_" Blaine felt his muscles sizing up to that. "He mostly just wanted to say that I'd used sex for connecting with somebody and at the time it didn't make much sense, but now.."

Blaine gazed Kurt's eyes for a long time, trying to address Kurt's words. Kurt didn't move or try to say anything and let the silence sink in so that Blaine could slowly ponder the situation. He snuggled against Blaine's neck and they fell back on the pillows for much more comfortable position.

"This is really sudden," Blaine stated then as he stroked Kurt's arm and turned to look into his blue eyes.

"I know," Kurt answered. "We don't have to do anything, we have all the time in the world."

"I really want to though," Blaine admitted. This confession affected them both: Blaine was surprised to find courage to say it and something like realization flicked in Kurt's eyes when his pupils widened.

"Me too," Kurt smiled and Blaine took a moment to look at that. He didn't even realize when Kurt had shifted closer again until his lips were on Blaine's and that was all that mattered.

It didn't take long before the kiss turned into desperate mess. It was hard to tell who was on top of who because of the rolling and giggling and questions like: "Are we really going to do this?" "And what do you want?". The answers game without any doubt: "Yes," and "I want everything."

They kissed like that for a while, messily and worthlessly, not even trying to stop it until Kurt pulled away with a suggestion to breath.

_Right, breath._ Blaine reminded himself that it was something they both needed to do for sake of living. They fell back on the pillows and breathed until Blaine turned again to Kurt and stroke his hair. It felt nice to let his hands through Kurt's soft hair because that was something he almost always did when they both were lying down.

"Are you sure?" Blaine asked again panting, just in case.

Kurt nodded shyly. "Are you?"

"Yeah," Blaine replied. "Yes I'm sure."

They let their lips touch again and deepened the kiss instantly. It was still eager but it wasn't messy, they weren't in hurry this time. They had all the time in the world.

"Kurt," Blaine whispered and pulled away one last time.

"Mh?" Kurt mumbled and tried to protest. "I swear to god, if you ask me one more time if I'm re-"

"I love you."

Kurt stilled with a silence and smiled, looking directly into Blaine's eyes. "I love you too."

Blaine pulled Kurt back to a kiss as they stood on their knees. They kept on with kissing while their slow movements and shy hands slipped beyond the lines that they had created with last month.

Before falling asleep later that night, Blaine let himself to look at the beauty of the boy in his arms.

* * *

Something was really okay. Like _really_ okay and nice and comfortable and warm. Slowly opening his eyes, Blaine realized that he wasn't alone in the bed. He was so _not_ alone.

There was Kurt, curled right next to him, both of them without any layers. That scared Blaine for a second but he calmed as he started to remember the previous night. He sighed happily at the memory and tried to get even closer to Kurt who was still very much asleep.

Kurt didn't wake up until the next half an hour. His eyelashes flickered when he opened his eyes. Blaine moved away a little, preparing himself for some kind of Kurt's panic attack what never came. Instead of that Kurt shifted up and smiled.

"Morning," Blaine simply said.

"Thank god," Kurt groaned lightly.

"What?"

"I wasn't dreaming."

Blaine laughed a little when Kurt kissed Blaine's left cheek. Blaine wondered for a second what Kurt exactly meant with that but it didn't really matter because soon enough their lips were connected again as they both reminded to each other the previous night.

* * *

**Okay, so I decided not to write the smut. Why? Because 1) as you might probably understand by now, english is still not my native language and I think that the smut would be really weird and awkward because of that.. 2) I simply can't ruin the mood of their first time with "he slide his dick in". I don't plan writing smut in the future but who knows, maybe I'll try to write at least _something_..**

**Some of you may think that maybe they are moving a little too fast, but in my head they have this really special relationship where they need to be as close to each other as possible and that makes Kurt stronger..  
**

**The last scene ("Morning" "Thank god" "What?" "I wasn't dreaming") of this is actually from some kind of movie/series etc. I don't know the title, I just saw gifs on tumblr. If anyone knows it, please let me know!  
**

**Thank you all again for sticking with me and for your lovely reviews! :)**


	23. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Blaine found it quite strange how quickly next weeks flew by in McKinley. He had learned by now that there was almost always some kind of drama in New Directions which was probably the reason why Blaine didn't notice those weeks. For example, it was quite shocking to hear about Santana's sexuality.

"Oh, I knew it before," Kurt said when Blaine had stated the news. "She and Karofsky dated last year, so I figured that there was something wrong. I mean, Santana is smart enough to see that Karofsky isn't exactly _dateable_."

Blaine couldn't help but feel surprised. Kurt had told him a lot of stories about people in New Directions but this was probably the most shocking so far.

Kurt suggested singing to her later that week, which was something new. Kurt rarely sang out loud in the glee club and that's when Blaine realized that they actually had never sung a duet together, at least not in public. Their mini duets usually stayed safely between their bedroom walls or in their cars.

Blaine could tell that Kurt had grown more confident and stronger since their first night together. He couldn't help but feel a little proud of himself and he had to remind himself that he should be more proud of Kurt. As wonderful and special it was for them as a couple, Blaine had to admit that intimacy had affected Kurt more. Something had changed in his boyfriend, somehow it had helped him with his issues.

And Kurt didn't even let himself down when Santana didn't hold back with sarcasm after their performance. Kurt simply stayed graceful and acted reasonably. He even had courage to protect Rory, the new exchange student, in the touch ball fight between The Troubletones and New Directions.

The voting for the class president drifted closer with those weeks and Kurt prepared the perfect speech for debating. His relationship with Rachel was still on the rocks, which why it was so surprising for Blaine to hear Rachel's speech. Blaine felt even more proud when Kurt went to Rachel to talk and saw them hugging later.

* * *

"So what were you and Rachel talking about?" Blaine dared to ask later, when they were lying down on Kurt's bed, just resting a little before starting with their homework. Even though they had had sex for quite a couple of times for now, they still needed those simple moments with each other after school where clothes stayed on.

"NYADA," Kurt answered shortly with quite weak voice. "About getting into NYADA.."

"So is it your plan now or..?"

"Yeah, maybe."

It was clear that Kurt wasn't exactly thrilled to talk about that. Blaine wasn't neither, both of them tried to avoid talking about the future but Blaine knew than in Kurt's case, it was kind of necessary..

"You know you can at least try," Blaine stated. "To get in, I mean. I think you would be amazing.."

Kurt sighed and opened his eyes that he had held closed as he turned his body to Blaine's.

"I'm trying to be realistic.." Kurt murmured and Blaine turned himself closer too.

"So am I."

Kurt swallowed and gave him a blunt smile. The silence sank in again and Blaine did what liked to do the most: he started stroking Kurt's soft hair.

"What about you?" Kurt asked then.

"What about me?" Blaine really didn't understand immediately since he had almost lost the track of their conversation in silence.

"What about your plans? For the future?"

"Oh." Blaine stopped playing with Kurt's hair and pulled away a little. Something heavy landed on the air between them. "Well, I'm planning to just.. apply for different collages. Mostly for singing or dancing specialty but maybe I'll even try acting.."

"Acting, really?" Kurt sounded.. amused?

"Yeah, well I do know a little about that, don't I? I mean, I got into school's musical and everything.."

"Of course you do, you're amazing," Kurt rushed to say. "I just.. didn't expect that I guess. I mean, to be honest I've imagined you going to LA or something to get recording contract.."

"So have I, but I'm trying to be realistic," Blaine smiled and Kurt's worried face also melted.

"It would be realistic," Kurt spoke then. "You rocked the Warblers and you could easily get all Finn's solos in New Directions if you wanted."

"Considering my relationship with Finn, I don't think that stealing solos from him would be the best option," Blaine laughed lightly although it wasn't really funny.

"You know what I mean."

Blaine didn't react, just simply smiled a little and looked at his beautiful boyfriend. He didn't say anything for a moment because his own future plans were also quite indistinct before he leaned closer to Kurt again.

"Is that why you don't like talking about future?" he questioned then. "Because you think that I'm planning to go to Los Angeles?"

Kurt bit his lips and tensed.

"Maybe," he shrugged unsurely.

"It scares me too but we'll figure it out, I promise," Blaine granted with a simple kiss before they had to return to the reality and start doing their homework.

* * *

Kurt's emotional roll on voting day was quite overwhelming and Blaine did his best to keep him calm.

"Come what may, I'll be here for you, remember that," Blaine assured him and kissed him. Kurt nodded and closed his eyes for a second.

Things got weird when Kurt was asked to go to principal's office and Blaine didn't see him for a long time.

"Blaine!" Kurt's painfully sad voice came out of nowhere. Blaine had barely turned to see him, when Kurt ran into him, so his weight shifted Blaine's body.

Something was wrong, really wrong and Blaine knew that it was something about election. He curled his arms around another boy's torso as Kurt's sobs blocked Blaine's track of thoughts.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Blaine tried to ask really quietly and gently.

"I'm sorry, I'm just really confused right now.." Kurt mumbled and tried to pull away.

"Don't be sorry." Blaine pulled Kurt back to his embrace, ignoring the glances from other students. Kurt let Blaine hold him until he calmed and breathed normally again.

"Can we just.. find an empty classroom or something?" Kurt said then and Blaine simply nodded.

They pulled away from each other and walked to find a quiet place so Kurt could tell him what had happened.

* * *

"Come here," Blaine said later that day when they were lying on Kurt's bed again and pulled him closer to cuddle. "I can go if you want to be alone," he also added when Kurt didn't attempt to make much moving.

"No, don't go," Kurt uttered quickly with a shaky voice and curled closer. "I don't want to be alone right now."

Blaine gently kissed his temple and that made Kurt smile. And yawn.

"You can sleep, you know," Blaine spoke then. "It's been a long day."

"Yeah, it is," Kurt agreed but didn't close his eyes. "I can't believe that Rachel would do something like that."

"Are you mad at her?" Blaine had been wondering about that for hours but didn't dare to ask sooner.

"I wish," the boy answered with a swallowed laugh. "But no, I'm not. I can't be."

"She meant well."

"I know."

They didn't say anything for a moment while Blaine tried to find a way to ask another question that was in his head.

"Will you still apply for NYADA?"

Kurt swallowed and slowly dragged his eyes up to meet Blaine's.

"No," he stated then. "I won't apply for NYADA."

Blaine felt his heart sink. He had to fought with himself to not argue or talk about that with Kurt right away. Instead of that he just let out a deep sigh and pulled Kurt closer to smell his shampoo.

He thought about Kurt and his dreams and his future. He thought about things that had changed Kurt so much and he thought about their relationship, THEIR future. When Kurt drifted to sleep, Blaine decided to _do_ something about Kurt's future, not just to talk.


	24. Chapter 23

**AN: I** **felt like writing after yesterday's chapter and I thought about this one for the whole night.. Worked on this for the whole day: yup I officaly have no life.**** Also: I'm sending my "special love" to Nurse Kate because of her lovely reviews. It's so great to read this kind of feedback and to know what you liked! :) And by the way, Kate, I think you're guessing right ;)**

* * *

Chapter 23

Blaine didn't mention NYADA again. Kurt found it a little weird but it suited for him. He didn't want to talk about his future; he didn't want THINK about _their _future and he knew that denial wasn't the best option but it just hurt too much no matter what Blaine's promises were.

It was a little hard at first to get by his lost but Kurt knew how to manage a brave face so the only one who actually saw him down, was Blaine. But it became easier when he heard the news that his father had won the congressional election against Sue and Blaine did also his best to sheer him up.

Kurt let himself enjoy kissing Blaine and he couldn't be more thankful for the fact that Blaine's parents drove away for the weekend again. It was a quiet Sunday in Blaine's empty house, mostly consisting kissing and roaming hands and cuddling and no clothes and it didn't even matter that Kurt couldn't spend the night: they had the whole day instead.

"You spend a lot of time in Blaine's house lately," Burt said over the dinner on Sunday. Kurt felt the blush rising on his cheeks. "What's up with that?"

Kurt pressed his lips together and tightened his hold on the fork without even noticing it.

"Just hanging out," he shrugged as carelessly as he could. Acting wasn't so easy around his father because Burt was quite observant person.

Burt narrowed his eyes on Kurt, trying to study his son. Kurt was ready for more questions and awkward answers but that never came.

"Well, you seem a shit load happier," Burt commented instead and Kurt almost choke on his food. Carole shot a disapproving but smiley look to her husband but didn't say anything.

* * *

"Good morning Kurt," Rachel smiled on Monday morning before their first class. Blaine and Mike were busy with discussing football and Kurt felt quite bored so he didn't really mind talking with Rachel. After all, they had just mended their.. friendship or whatever it was.

"Hi," Kurt answered but realized then that he didn't have any idea what to start a conversation with.

"So did you send your application for NYADA?" she inquired. Of course _that_ is something to start a conversation with. For second it seemed to Kurt that Blaine raised his eyebrows and moved a little closer. Like he was trying to hear them while listening Mike.

"Uhm, no," Kurt gulped and tensed.

"What? Kurt!" Rachel hissed hysterically to that. "Do you know how close the deadline is? What are you waiting for?!"

"Rachel," Kurt mumbled then and turned to look straightly into her eyes. "I'm not going to apply for NYADA."

"Why not?!"

"I'm not going to get in!"

"Is it about the class president thing because I'm sorry and I'm quite sure it would-"

Kurt shook his head, losing the track of Rachel's words and didn't let Rachel finish:

"Rachel, stop. I'm not blaming you. I wouldn't have gotten in anyway. It doesn't matter.."

Rachel stopped, to Kurt's surprise but kept looking at him with intensity.

"So you're not applying for your NYADA, not because you don't want it but because you think you can't get in?" she questioned then. That question hit him and made Kurt speechless because yes, maybe it was true..

"Rachel, please leave it," Kurt sighed. He didn't miss the strange look that Rachel and Blaine shared for a moment.

* * *

"It's so crazy. I'm sitting over there, checking out this guy, and all of a sudden I'm like, "Wait a second.. I know this hair"!" _Are you kidding me?!_ "What's up buddy, haven't seen you online! Hi, Kurt."

Kurt would have gladly rather talk about his idiotic brother than talk with.. _him_.

"We've been really busy with glee club-"

"-practicing for sectionals. Together." Kurt placed his hand on Blaine's. He had never cared less about disapproving looks they can get for this.

Kurt didn't know where his courage for sassiness came from. He knew now, that there was nothing between Blaine and Sebastian but he couldn't help but feel protective. He almost scared himself with saying all these things to Sebastian when Blaine went for the refill. It's like he put on this mask he didn't even know he had.

„Let's get a few things straight." Sebastian stated. „Blaine's too good for you, New Directions is a joke, and one of us has a hard luck case of the 'gay face', and it ain't me. Odds are by the end of the school year, I'll have Blaine and a Nationals trophy, and you'll have khakis and a Lima Bean apron, and that gay face." Even though Kurt wore that mask, he still felt like something had hit his stomach. He felt like bleeding.

"You smell like craigslist," he muttered just before Blaine returned and held on on that cramped smirk.

"What are you talking about?" Blaine asked as he sat down again.

"Duh, next time we're going out drinking, killer!" Sebastian answered and, _thank god__, _stood up again. "You take care of that Warbler, Kurt."

Blaine just frowned when Sebastian left and took a sip of his refilled cup. Kurt let the mask fall down, relaxing his muscles from that smile but didn't let himself fall apart. He decided not to mention that chat with Sebastian to Blaine, hoping he can just forget it.

* * *

New Directions were a mess that week and while everybody else tried to figure out what to do in Sectionals without Rachel, Kurt didn't get his mind off of Sebastian. Everything was happening so fast and suddenly Finn came out with this idea of Sam moving in with them.

"Let me get this straight," Blaine said over the phone one night after Kurt had told him about Sam. "The guy, you used have _crush_ on, is moving in with you?"

Kurt chuckled.

"Do I hear jealousy?" he mumbled with a huge smile. Something warm flushed in his stomach. It was a good thing that they were talking over the phone and Blaine didn't saw him that moment: Kurt was sure, he's grin was weird. And he also had to admit to himself that he was a little sensitive with talking about jealousy so it was a little easier to ask it over the phone, without Blaine looking into his eyes.

"Maybe..?" Blaine answered carefully. Maybe even too carefully.

"Blaine, the guy is straight," Kurt argued.

"We all have had feelings for straight guys.."

"Oh, really?" Kurt smirked. _Now_he was interested. He really wanted to ask what was behind that statement but Blaine didn't really give him a chance to do that.

"Tha- That's not the point right now.." Blaine stuttered quickly then and Kurt could almost feel his boyfriend's blush through the phone. "My point is that the he is moving in with you. And straight or not, there can be.. feelings."

"Okay, first of all," Kurt sighed heavily as he dropped down to his bed. "Sam's not _moving in with me._" Kurt also had to admit that it _was_a little weird, especially when he said it out loud. "He just needs a place to stay because he's family is living in Kentucky and we need him in New Directions. He will be living in the guest's room. Secondly, there weren't any _feelings_and there won't be. I was just lonely and I thought he was gay because he died his hair. Sam's a great guy, he was probably the most protective one when the shit with Karofsky started.."

Blaine didn't respond right away, but he was still there: Kurt could hear his breathing.

"Oh, wow," Blaine finally breathed. "I didn't know _that_. I mean, I was just trying to be cute and funny but.. oh wow.."

Kurt let out a shaky laugh.

"Don't worry, you _are_ cute and funny. You don't have to try."

Kurt's mind drifted back to jealousy and Sebastian. He was scared, of course he was. He loved and needed Blaine and any factor that could break them up made Kurt worry. The thought of that hurt so much that Kurt forgot for a moment that he was still on the phone with Blaine.

"Kurt?" Blaine asked when the silence sink in, both of them taking a moment to process their conversation.

"Hm?"

"I love you," Blaine uttered like he would've had heard Kurt's thinking.

Kurt smiled to that, forgetting about Sebastian for a second.

"I love you too."

* * *

"It _means_ that I'm not for sale!"

_Holy shit did that just happen?!_Kurt's mind was yelling.

"Forget it." Blaine turned around and left the room just before Kurt stood up and opened his mouth.

"WHAT THE HELL GUYS?!" Kurt said, yelling this time out loud. "What is wrong with you?"

Everybody was watching Kurt with wide eyes, including Mr. Shuester. Kurt wanted to say more, _yell _more but he couldn't think of something. He wasn't even sure _why_. This was just a stupid argument between Sam and Blaine and all Kurt wanted to do was scream. Some weird rage appeared in him and Kurt had to fight with himself that moment to not let that out.

He turned to walk after Blaine but somebody stopped him.

"Kurt, I'll go," Finn stated and put his arm on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt immediately shrug it off. He was too angry.

"Oh, _please_, Finn. Don't even try to play the hero here. You've had a problem with him from the day he transferred," Kurt answered with snarky voice.

"What are you-"

"Finn, don't," Kurt cut him off and turned to look into his brother's eyes. "Don't make a fool out of yourself again. You had no problem with working with him in garage over the summer but as soon as he transferred, you became jealous because he can sing twice as good as you and he can actually _dance_."

Everything came out of Kurt so quickly that he didn't even have a chance to think about his words. Finn stared at him blankly, not saying anything. Kurt could hear other's tension and swallowing which reminded him that they were still in the choir room.

Kurt was about to turn away when Finn stopped him again.

"Do you know where he could've gone?"

"Finn.." Kurt sighed heavily.

"Please, Kurt. Let me fix this," Finn begged kind of brokenly.. sincerely?

Kurt was too tired to deal with this. He hesitated before he answered. "I'm guessing he's in the gym, boxing.."

Finn looked at Kurt thankfully before heading to the gym.

* * *

Whatever Finn had said to Blaine, it had worked. The two of them seemed actually too friendly when they arrived to Hummel-Hudson's house that day. Finn and Blaine sat to the kitchen, going on and on about some football game that Kurt didn't understand (_why did it always have to be a football?_) and ate sandwiches that Kurt made. He wasn't sure how it was possible but somehow their discussion smoothly moved from football to fixing cars so Kurt could finally understand what they were talking about.

Blaine stayed for the dinner that night and even though he was mostly too busy with talking to Burt or Finn, Kurt didn't mind. He felt relieved and new kind of happy that this problem had finally resolved.

* * *

It felt amazing: to sing and dance on the stage. It felt so good, he could get lost to it. He loved and enjoyed every second of it, smirking evilly to Sebastian. This was where he felt the most confident, this where he knew how stand without anybody's help.

Kurt was happy about their win, how things worked out but seeing his dear Mercedes, who has been one of the closest friends for him for the longest time, loose the competition made Kurt's heat ache. He missed her: they were still friends but both of them had been too busy to really get to together. So when the Troubletones finally came back to New Directions, Kurt's heart bloomed. It was an amazing end for the day.

Only thing that made him frown was how Blaine looked at Mike and Tina when they were talking to Mike's dad. Kurt couldn't really hear the conversation but it seemed that Blaine could. Something lighted on Blaine's face suddenly even more: his eyes twirled with excitement but Kurt just thought it was because of the winning.

Kurt also didn't miss the moment when Blaine said something to Rachel as they walked away for a moment. He decided not to intrude them right away and made a mental note to ask about that later, if he won't forget..


	25. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Christmas came with a hurry this year and somehow it made Kurt really happy. There was a lot of Christmas shopping and decorating and laughter and even some kisses under the mistletoe.

"Oh, come on guys," Mercedes said before a glee practice and willfully held one by Kurt's and Blaine's head. "Kiss already, it's like a law."

"It's almost against the law for us to kiss around here," Kurt snorted.

"Kurt, you're in the choir room," Mercedes stated with a low and serious tone because no one who cares about two kissing boys would ever walk in here.

"Ah, just come here," Blaine huffed then and pulled Kurt to sweet kiss.

"You see?" Mercedes teased while her smile widened. "_That's _how you do it."

"How about you show us how to do it while I hold it by you and Sam?" Kurt couldn't help but reply to that sarcastically.

Mercedes narrowed her eyes but didn't say anything. She simply turned away from them to walk over to Tina and Mike.

"Well that's a great Christmas spirit, Kurt," Blaine muttered and put his arm around Kurt's waist to slightly massage his boyfriend's hipbone through the shirt with his thumb.

"Sorry," Kurt sighed, resting against Blaine's chest. "It's just that Sam is always asking about her in home and it kills me to see her turning him down."

"Kurt?"

"Hm?"

"I hate to break this to you but this is between them, not you. You can't change her feelings about Sam.."

"Well, hello there, Mr. Christmas Spirit."

"Kurt." Blaine's voice was warning.

"Yeah, I know," Kurt gave up with a little peck onto Blaine's cheek.

* * *

Kurt's Christmas changed even busier during that week. New Directions were asked to create a holiday special for the local PBS station and Artie gave both Kurt and Blaine important parts for this. Kurt's mind was doubtful about this but Artie had talked him into it.

"Kurt, you love performing, you'll be fine. Trust me," Artie had said and Kurt had simply smiled to that.

He did love performing but now, when he had passed the deadline for applying to NYADA, he had officially given up with his dreams. This was it, there was no way anymore..

But it was still his dream, a bright and beautiful dream that he sadly thought about before going to sleep at night. It hurt so much to think about it that he had wondered if he should back off from singing, to end it so it would be easier to just move on. But he couldn't quit the New Directions – that was the only thing that kept him sane, the only place where he had friends and they needed his voice for competitions. And even though Blaine and Rachel had seemed to except Kurt's choice with NYADA, he still wasn't sure what they would think about him cutting off from singing entirely.

Rachel and Blaine really hit off after Sectionals. Kurt often saw them discussing something and Rachel started to use Blaine for duets since Finn didn't bother to learn new songs for her. Kurt knew that he shouldn't be suspicious because these two were perfect duet partners for each other and he grew closer to Rachel himself but he couldn't help but feel a little weird about this.

* * *

"Wait a second," Blaine mumbled to Artie just before their holiday special filming. "Are you seriously saying that we can't introduce ourselves as.. boyfriends?!"

Artie's looked tensed and sorry, Kurt understood. Although he and Artie had never really been close, he still knew him better than Blaine did.

"Yeah," he breathed. "Look guys, I'm sorry but that's just what the channel wants. Most of their audience is really narrow minded and they just ask you to.. keep it down a little."

Blaine was about to argue again but Kurt interrupted.

"It's okay, Artie," he said and put his hand against Blaine's chest to calm him a little. "We get it."

Artie shot a final short smile and left.

"How can you be okay with this?!" Blaine almost hailed in whisper, trying not to draw too much attention.

"I'm not," Kurt admitted. "I just handle it differently." He winked to his boyfriend who just blinked back with confusion.

That's how they came to an idea to change the script a little and play, make a few references to the plans that they didn't really have but eventually came true anyway. In Kurt's mind, Blaine had a little too much fun, but it was funny to see everybody's reaction: Rory's blank expression, Rachel's embarrassment as she shot them an angry look after, Artie's kind of frustrated but kind of proud countenance. In the end, nobody else really cared and maybe didn't even notice the change in the script. That meant more laughing after and forgetting about the things that bought Kurt's mood down.

* * *

"Hey, smile," Blaine's voice came out of nowhere, all cheerful and happy. "Winter break is almost hours away."

"I know," Kurt answered as they walked down the hall next to each other. His voice came out way to high. "And I feel good about the special and what we did at the shelter.. It's just.. the holidays always make me a little melancholy."

It was exactly a lie, but it wasn't actually the only thing in Kurt's mind.

"Really? So you're still going to admit that it has nothing to do with Liz Taylor jewelry auction which ended midnight last night."

Oh, right. That too..

"Well, I was outbid on everything anyway," he sighed kind of sadly.

"Kurt, those things sold for, like, millions of dollars. I mean, how were you supposed to afford-"

"-The Edith Head ivory disc necklace?" It was a little scary to admit that to Blaine because he was right: it was kind of stupid.

"Aah, any of that.."

"Well, I still have Marc Jacobs clothes in my closet although.." Kurt looked around before continuing with lowered voice. "I don't feel like wearing them but I always found a way to afford them."

Kurt hadn't really paid attention to his clothes since summer: his usual designer clothes were mostly replaced with simple shirt and jeans and even some vests. He still admired fashion and often looked through new collections when he was at mall with Mercedes or Tina but didn't buy anything too expensive anymore.

"I know, it's stupid," he stated after a short pause. "It was auction porn. Just a fantasy but it was _so hot_."

Blaine laughed a little to that, Kurt smiled too. With Blaine he couldn't talk about his dreams yet but he could easy compare his not so little obsessions with porn.

"I think, that this year, we should be thankful for what have, not what we don't have." Blaine's voice suddenly changed into lightly nervous, uncertain drabble as he guided Kurt away to the more quiet corner. "I know that this is only our first year together and we've been already moving too fast.." He dug in his bag and pulled out a small, _adorable_, red box to what Kurt's heart beat raced immediately. "Just.. open the box."

Kurt swallowed and opened it. His eyes flickered over the bow tie ring just for a second because he was still unsure what this meant.

"It's a promise ring," Blaine explained to Kurt's confusion. "It's nothing big but I just feel like I need to be a closest I get to you.."

Kurt just stood there smiled, feeling the overwhelming heat inside him rising as he had to hold back the tears. Blaine's nervous look eased to that.

"Just something that I made out of gum-wrappers. Juicy Fruit.." he continued.

"My favorite Wringley's. And.." Kurt looked at the ring closely again. "Is that a little bow-tie?" Blaine looked even more precious as he smiled wider and nodded proudly. "But.. what exactly are you promising?"

"To always love you," Blaine answered with a soft voice. "To defend you even if I know you're wrong. To surprise you. To always pick your call no matter what I'm doing. To bake you cookies at least twice a year and to kiss you whenever and where ever you want. But mostly to make sure that you always remember how perfectly imperfect you are. "If Kurt wasn't blushing before, he was now. "And I know that life has been quite hard on you, but you're still the strongest person I know and I admire that. A lot."

Kurt let out a breath that he didn't even know he was holding and looked at the ring again. It was about the small things: how Blaine knew his favorite gum and for the god's sake he made a ring out of its wrapper.

"I know it's not something that Elizabeth Taylor would have worn, but.." Blaine drabbled again but Kurt didn't let him continue. He had done enough taking.

Kurt pulled him to a tight hug and rested his chin on Blaine's shoulder.

"I love it. I love you," he said quietly but loudly enough for Blaine to hear it. They stayed like that for a while and Kurt hided his face into other boy's soft cardigan, forgetting everything else for a moment. "Merry Christmas, Blaine. It's our first Christmas together."

"First of many," Blaine smiled as they pulled apart. Kurt had to bit the inside of his mouth not to grin like an idiot. This made him ridiculously happy.

They drove to Kurt's house because this was the place where they both felt most comfortable with each other. After they had started with intimacy, they spent most of their free time at Blaine's house because it was almost always empty, but for now they didn't really care about that. It turned out that Kurt's house was empty for at least couple of hours anyway and without a word they decided to use this time wisely.

"I, ah, have a present for you too, actually," Kurt mumbled between the kisses when Blaine pushed him down to the bed.

"Can't it wait?" Blaine asked and Kurt quickly agreed because this moment was perfectly too heated and desperate.

They always shared a desire but no matter how hot it felt, until this day, they had always kept it slow, patient and tender. This time it felt also tender and careful, but a little less patient and little more desperate. Kurt felt more vulnerable but he trusted Blaine. He knew, that for a long time Blaine would probably be the only person who he could trust like that and Kurt hoped that he would never feel the need to trust anybody else.

* * *

**AN: I had quite a block but I feel good with this chapter :P**

**Okay, so 1) The beginning with Mercedes is because I kinda ship Samercedes and I think she's wonderful :)  
**

**2)In the original storyline, I found it kind of weird how Kurt didn't introduce Blaine as his boyfrind in that holiday special thing and it was unlike them to make those references to sex so I had to find a reason why they did it..  
**

**3) THE BOX SCENE: yeh, I'm in love with that scene. Had to change some lines though because of this story's storilines, I hope you get it! :)  
**

**The next chapter will quite likely be up with those next few days or in about an week. I have 2 last free days to write it and then I'll get busy with school and stuff so hopefully I can use those free days for that :)  
**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVELY REVIEWS I APPRECIATE EVERYONE OF THEM, ahh!  
**


	26. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

If Blaine was being completely honest with himself, he had to admit that he was nervous. He was nervous because he had applied to NYADA for Kurt. With Rachel's help he had figured out how to fill the blanks on the application and copied Kurt's signature like Tina had done with Mike's college applications. He hated that he had to do something like this behind his boyfriend's back but like Rachel assured: it was a right thing to do.

He didn't talk with Kurt about their future, neither of them mentioned it. He didn't ask if Kurt still wanted to go to New York, if he was planning to apply to some other colleges. He probably should've had and Blaine was actually worried more about Kurt's future than his own.

He had his doubts about his own future, not sure what exactly he wanted to do. A part of him really did want to go to Los Angeles and sing his way to Hollywood. Another part of him wanted to be with Kurt in New York because he knew that this was the place where Kurt belonged. The idea of being in New York seemed more and more appealing, not only because of Kurt but also because of the city itself. After seeing Kurt's and Rachel's love to New York he had started to see what they saw: the magic that Los Angeles didn't have. Sure, LA was a powerful city with palms and sun, but now when Blaine compared it with New York, it seemed fake.

Blaine didn't know yet which city or which school his heart belonged to, but he knew that it belonged with Kurt Hummel.

* * *

Blaine wasn't sure how, but somehow he found himself texting with Sebastian again. It was fun, Sebastian was an interesting guy and he couldn't stop himself. It started out with Sebastian's random texts about Warblers and Dalton and turned into stories about Sebastian's life in Paris. They chatted on Facebook sometimes, even called but never something more.

He didn't tell about it to Kurt, he couldn't. Blaine knew how Sebastian could affect Kurt and to be honest, he didn't feel like he was doing something wrong, or at least that's what he kept saying to himself. Sebastian was a friend, a gay friend, sure, but maybe that was something he needed: a different kind of friend but still someone, who understood him the way that his straight friends didn't. In the back of his mind, he did feel a little guilty but the guilt was already there before Sebastian's texts.

The weeks after winter break flew by rapidly. Things were tensed between Sam and Mercedes and Kurt didn't stop talking about them, meanwhile Mr. Schuester planned proposing to Ms. Pillsbury. Things with Sebastian got out of hands in the end of the January when Blaine accidentally talks with Sebastian about New Direction's plans with Michael Jackson music.

"How often do you talk?" Kurt's snarky and mad voice asked when Sebastian appeared to Lima Bean. It wasn't the question that made Blaine's heart sank; it was the tone how Kurt asked it.

He didn't really care if other members of New Direction were mad at him, he only cared about Kurt, who seemed to be ignoring him. Blaine almost missed the part where Sebastian announces that he is the Captain of the Warblers and no longer wants to play nice. This is where Blaine realizes how stupid he has been with believing that Sebastian could actually be his friend.

"Kurt, can we talk about it?" Blaine asked when they left the coffee shop.

"Well, you can go and talk to Sebastian, I'm going to have to rethink a lot of things," Kurt answered, clearly mad as he sat in Rachel's car. Guilt flushed through every part of Blaine's body, he hadn't felt crappier ever before.

* * *

Next days were torture. Puck slipped out that he didn't feel comfortable with Blaine in New Directions and Blaine understood. He even thought about quitting for a second but Finn's always opportunistic and fighting mood saved him.

"Kurt, can you please at least let me explain?" Blaine begged after the glee club meeting when they walked over to the parking lot. "It's not what you think, _I love you_."

"It's not what I think, huh?" Kurt's voice is still snarky and sarcastic. "Do you want to know what I actually think?" He paused and stopped talking, looking around before continuing with sharp hurting tone. "I absolutely hate the fact that you didn't tell me you're still talking with him. It hurts to know, that even if you know, how insecure Sebastian made me feel about us, you still don't bother to tell me that you two are friends. It hurts to know that even if we can talk about _everything_, we can't talk about Sebastian."

"Really, Kurt, can we really talk about everything? Because for some reason I don't feel safe with asking about your future!" He almost told Kurt, he really wanted to say that he had sent Kurt's application to NYADA, but he didn't. Words came out of Blaine's mouth before he could even understand the true meaning.

Kurt turned blank, blinking a few times before he could say anything again.

"Well, if you want to know so badly: I have no future. I'll probably end up taking over my father's auto shop, alone, while you're dancing on the background on MTV."

Kurt voice was almost a whisper now, creaking and weak, his eyes were close to tears as he turned around to walk over to his car.

"Kurt, wait!" Blaine yelled, feeling a weird weakness in his bones as well. "I'm sorry."

Kurt ignored that, sat into his car and turned to engine on to drive away from the parking lot.

* * *

So Blaine had fucked it really up. He hated to put it like this, but this was how it was. He was in pain with quilt, trying to call to Kurt but he didn't answer the phone. Blaine sent apologizes through text but hated it. He wanted to talk to Kurt; he wanted to see him or at least heard him.

He remembered how he had ignored Kurt's calls and texts in the summer, when he had misunderstood Kurt's conversation with Burt. Now Blaine understood why Kurt didn't want to explain it through texts back then, why he had wanted to talk about it, not just type. This made his heart clench even tighter with guilt and it ached.

Blaine hoped that once Kurt had calmed down a little, he would eventually talk with him. But he didn't. The next two days Kurt ignored him completely, not even looking into his eyes and pretending like he didn't hear Blaine's voice. He felt hopeless and didn't know what to do. He was becoming worried and even checked if Kurt had changed his Facebook relationship status. It killed Blaine. Not only because he couldn't find a way to express his regret but also because he really missed the warmth of Kurt's body and his company. He would've sang to Kurt, in Glee club, but the rest of the club was busy with preparing for the Warbler meeting to have time for that.

The Warbler meeting didn't make it even better. Blaine did want to fight with Sebastian, god knew he wanted but he was out of strength. He studied Sebastian smirking face and observed his every move. Blaine didn't miss the slushie cup that was suddenly in Sebastian's hands and reached out in Kurt's direction. Without even thinking he jumped, trying to push Kurt away and feeling the wet smack in his skin and burning ache in his eyes.

* * *

What happened next was a bit blurry. There was wailing and.. crying? Somebody pulled Blaine up, he didn't really see who, and dragged him to someone's car. He heard Kurt sobbing and Quinn demanding for silence.

"Blaine, tell me, what's wrong?" she asked when the car started moving.

"It hurts, ah, burns," Blaine tried to answer through the pain, rubbing his eyes, holding them closed.

"Okay, don't worry, we get you to the hospital," Quinn said then.

Another sob came from the first seat again. Kurt's, Blaine could tell even if he was in panic.

"Oh, god, Blaine, I'm _so sorry_," Kurt cried. "I don't know what happened, this was meant for mean, oh god.."

Blaine wanted to say that it wasn't his fault, that it was okay even if it didn't feel okay but he couldn't get the words out of himself.

"Hummel, it's not your fault," Puck muttered and Blaine was thankful. "It's Sebastian's fault, not yours."

When they arrived to the hospital, Quinn guided Blaine out of the car and inside of the building because Blaine still couldn't open his eyes. There were doctors and rushing and before Blaine couldn't really understood what happened, he was shifted to some kind of bed while doctors and nurses run around him, asking questions and asking him to open his eyes.

It was painful and he felt scared. Kurt and Quinn weren't there anymore although Blaine was sure that they both came into the building with him. He guessed they were somewhere outside and weren't allowed to come inside but he couldn't help but feel lonely and cold without them, especially when he couldn't see anything.

It felt like hours, before everything calmed down a little. There was some kind of fabric on his eyes and he couldn't open his eyes. Not his left eye at least. Somebody mentioned something about operation, which drove Blaine into the panic again. They decided to talk about that when his parents arrive and left Blaine into the silence. He knew that he wasn't alone in the room; he could hear someone moving and dealing with some kind of machines.

"Your parents should be here soon," a woman's voice, probably one of the nurse's, said quietly. "That boy who has been waiting outside for the whole time, called them. I think that the girl left at some point, but the boy stayed here."

"Kurt?" Blaine swallowed. He remembered the quilt he had with hearing this name.

"Yeah, I think so. He's been asking to see you but only relatives are allowed in."

"Are you- Can you please? He's my boyfriend," Blaine found himself begging.

"I'm sorry, but no. It's against the hospital rules."

Blaine breathed heavily, a hopeless and miserable feeling sinking in again. For a second he wondered if they would've let his girlfriend in but he was too tired to worry about homophobic people.

"Can you at least.. tell him that I'm fine?" he asked then.

"I think the doctor already talked with him and told him everything. You should stop worrying, you should get some rest."

Blaine nodded, knowing that he won't get any rest tonight.

"Do you want me to send him home maybe? He looked quite a wreck himself."

Blaine nodded again. "Yeah, that would be nice, thanks."

* * *

Blaine could open his right eye the next morning but the left one needed a surgery. He was glad to hear that he was allowed home then. He held his phone and watched the screen blankly. He wanted to text or call to Kurt but he didn't know how. Blaine wasn't sure what to say.

He planned to get to home and figure it out then but it turned out that it wasn't necessary. As soon as mother turned the car to their street, Blaine noticed a black navigator standing there by the driveway.

"Kurt," Blaine whimpered when he quickly crawled out of the car. Navigator's door opened as well and Kurt stood for second, before running towards Blaine and falling into his arms.

"I'm _so_ sorry Blaine, I don't know how to make it up to you, I can't believe you did it," he sputtered against Blaine's chest. "I'm so sorry, I've been like this, I'm so sorry I said those things and blamed you, oh god, I'm _so_ sorry."

Wait, _Kurt_ was sorry? Blaine couldn't really figure out why.

"Kurt, shut up," Blaine mumbled and pulled away. "It's okay, it's not your fault._ I'm_ sorry."

Kurt didn't say anything anymore but still looked worried and.. tired. His eyes were red and swollen.

"Come on, boys," Blaine heard his mom calling then. "Let's get you inside. You can talk then."

Kurt sobbed and Blaine just tugged him into the hug again, hushing him and trying to convince that everything is fine.

"Let's go inside," Blaine said then. "You look like you could use some rest and to be perfectly honest, so could I."

Kurt nodded and pulled away from Blaine's arms as they walked to the house.

* * *

**AN: It's not the end of the angst but it gets closer to the end of the story :) The next one is also half ready, I'll try to update as much as possible before my life gets busy again..**


	27. Chapter 26

**AN: Holymother of god. 2888 words, my biggest chapter so far. It's not just long, it's also *big***

* * *

Chapter 26

They walked to Blaine's room in silence. His mom didn't say anything when Blaine closed the bedroom door, just nodded understandingly.

Kurt stood there, by the bed unsurely, obviously not sure what to do or how to act, eyes still dripping from tears.

"Come, let's just lie down for a while," Blaine said and crawled into the bed while Kurt lied down as well with insecure moves.

Blaine reached out and pulled him closer, Kurt didn't protest.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt," Blaine said then and ran his thumb over Kurt's cheek to wipe away the teardrop. "I'm so sorry for not telling you about Sebastian, I'm so sorry for yelling at you, I-"

"Wait, no," Kurt cut him off. "No, no, don't be sorry, you did nothing wrong. _I'm_ sorry, you're because of me. _I'm_ sorry for not letting you explain, for ignoring you.."

"We agree to disagree," Blaine huffed after the moment of hesitation because he felt like sleeping a little. It was warm and there was Kurt, forgiving him everything and everything was so much lighter again.

Kurt swallowed and smiled then lightly, probably because he was tired himself. They stayed like that for a while, just looking into each other's eyes while Blaine stroked his boyfriend's cheek and Kurt his arm.

"You just have so much in your plate, you know," Blaine said after a long moment of silence. "And I didn't want to add anything there. That's why I didn't tell you about Sebastian."

Kurt pressed his lips together and nodded briefly.

"I know, I get it," he assured. "It's okay."

Blaine smiled back and leaned a little closer to Kurt's face. Kurt did that too and their lips met to a gentle kiss. Blaine wanted to cry, let the tears out that he had been holding back but he knew that crying could be a little painful.

"I love you, and trust you by the way," Kurt muttered. "You can text to whoever you want."

_He trusts you_, an inner voice said to Blaine in his head. A quilt flushed over again as he thought about NYADA. He thought he should just confess what he had done because the next letter should arrive soon.

_Not now_, Blaine told himself then because to be perfectly honest, he didn't even know what the letter will say or if it will come at all.

* * *

"I love you too," he said instead and tucked closer to Kurt as they drifted to sleep.

They slept until three o'clock, that's when Blaine's mom woke them up and prepared some lunch.

Without a word they crawled back to the bed after that, between the sheets this time and started to watch a movie in Blaine's laptop.

It turned out that Blaine couldn't look at the screen for a long time though because his eyes started to ache again so Kurt shoved the computer away and pulled him into the hungry kiss instead.

Blaine knew where this kiss would lead up to and for a second he thought about his mother who was downstairs and who could easily come in any time. But Blaine gave in, hoping that his mother wouldn't bother them or at least knock before coming in, and let Kurt to undress him.

They passed time with showing how much they had missed each other with those last days. Before they even knew it, it was almost time for dinner and Blaine could hear his father's car pulling in the driveway.

"Do you think you could stay the night?" Blaine asked when they got dressed again. "I'd really like to sleep next to you tonight."

Kurt froze to that and tensed a little.

"Would your parents be okay with that? With me sleeping in the same bed with you?" he questioned but Blaine just shrugged.

"Kurt, we've been here all day, all alone with closed door. How would the night be any different?"

Kurt thought about it while he pulled his jeans up.

"I don't know, I have to call my dad."

"I could do the talking, if you want," Blaine suggested. He knew that Burt trusted him so talking with him wouldn't be a problem.

"No, it's okay. I'll talk myself. I think it's better this way," Kurt said then.

Blaine left Kurt alone to call his dad while he carefully walked downstairs.

"Are you even allowed to be out of bed?" his father asked when he arrived to the kitchen.

"Your father is right, you know," his mother uttered and took the dinner out of the stove. "You should be in bed, resting not dancing around the house or moving."

Blaine swallowed. He felt his ears turning red because he was quite sure this previous activities with Kurt weren't exactly something that would've belonged to the not-moving category.

"I'm fine. I'm a little blind not an invalid, thank you very much," Blaine replied and sat next to his father by the courter. "Is it okay, if Kurt will stay the night?" he asked just in case anyway.

His father coughed to that, and Blaine didn't miss the frown he sent to his wife.

"Of course it's okay, honey," his mother smiled then and ignored his husband.

Blaine looked at his father who looked a little worried but decided not to mention that. He had his rough path with him but his father had improved a lot and really tried.

"The dinner will be served in any minute, Blaine. Where is Kurt anyway?"

"Talking to his dad," Blaine explained before turning away from the kitchen to go and call him.

They had dinner and talked with Blaine's parents about school, about Sebastian and what was going on. Then Blaine found pajamas for Kurt to wear as they tucked under the blanket again.

"I can't believe my father was actually okay with it!" Kurt said when Blaine turned the lights off. "I mean, I even told him that we're going to sleep in the same bed and all he said that he appreciated my honesty."

"Well, let's be thankful for the guy and get him some cheeseburger someday," Blaine teased because he knew how strict Kurt was being with Burt's menu.

"Do that, and you'll see what happens," Kurt warned and rested his chin on Blaine's chest.

Blaine laughed lightly and nuzzled his nose against Kurt hair.

"I won't take that risk. Love you too much for that."

"Love you too," Kurt sighed. "Goodnight."

"Oh, it's definitely a good night."

* * *

Kurt had to return to school the next day so he left early to stop by his house. He almost considered begging his dad if he could stay home for the rest of the week but he knew that this wasn't an option, no matter how generous Burt had been with Kurt's and Blaine's relationship. The day passed slowly in agony as he couldn't stop worrying about Blaine. The anger accumulated in him when he thought about Sebastian and even though he had a great night sleep without worries, Kurt still felt tired and exhausted.

Talking to Santana helped a little, Rachel and Mercedes were also by his side for the whole day but he sure didn't expect his father to show up at school during his Spanish class.

"Dad, what's going on? Is Blaine okay?" he asked when he followed his father's fasts steps towards the choir room.

"This," his father answered, showing some kind of letter in envelope. "came with mail. From some school NYADA.. Kurt why haven't you told me that you were applying?"

Everything went quiet. Everything stilled for a second to Kurt. He watched his father's surprised gaze but he couldn't answer to the question.

"Wha-what?" Kurt stuttered.

"I just realized that we haven't even discussed your plans after high school, I know I've been busy and everything but I still don't understand why you haven't said a word about this school. Why haven't you told me that you're _applying_ for this school?" Burt asked again. His voice wasn't exactly mad or disappointed, more worried and surprised.

"Because I don't," Kurt breathed and carefully took the letter from his father's hands. He watched it, making sure that he thought about the same thing that Burt was talking about.

"You're not?" Burt was confused, so was Kurt. So, _so_ confused that it made his hands shake. "Bu-but it has your name and everything.."

Burt was right: there was Kurt's name spelled on the envelope with his correct address.

"I thought about applying, but I didn't send my application or anything," Kurt mumbled quietly, more to himself than to his father. He just couldn't wrap his head around it.

They stood there for a good minute in silence while Kurt stared at the envelope and Burt sat down to one of the chairs.

"What does this mean?" he asked then but Kurt didn't react. He didn't have an answer really. "Someone applied _for_ you or what?"

That's when it slowly started to clear. That's when Kurt remembered Blaine's expression when they heard Tina's and Mike's conversation with Mike's father. That's when he remembered how Blaine and Rachel talked after that. That's when everything started to make sense: Blaine's and Rachel's blooming friendship and their lack of interest for Kurt's future plans.

"Oh god Blaine," Kurt growled and let his hands fall, barely holding the envelope. He walked over his father and sat next to him.

"Blaine?" Kurt heard his dad questioning. "You, you think Blaine sent it?"

Kurt simply nodded.

"Aren't you going to open it?"

Kurt shook his head. He wasn't able to form words right away.

"So, what are you going to do?"

It took a moment before Kurt dared to open his mouth again.

"I'm going back to Spanish," he said. Burt looked more shocked than before. "I'm going to stay here until the end of the day and then I'll figure out what I'll do with.. that."

"Are you sure?" Burt inquired. In any other circumstance, Kurt would've used that chance but right now, he couldn't go home. He knew that if he would just disappear in the middle of the day, a lot of worried questions would come to his and probably also Blaine's way.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Kurt sighed and hid the envelope into his bag. He thought about asking about this from Rachel but quickly decided not to: he needed to talk with Blaine first.

Burt left the school, Kurt ignored Mr. Schuester's and everybody else's questions about his father's sudden appearance, saying that it was nothing important, just a brief family meeting and tried to get over with his day. He was even quieter, even more thoughtful.

* * *

Kurt found himself in front of the Blaine's house after school. His heart was beating rapidly and he felt nervous. But he had to do it: he had to go into this house because he needed to give Blaine some notes and assignments from school.

Front door wasn't locked so he let himself in. The house was quiet: Ms. Anderson's car wasn't in front of the house so Kurt assumed that she had returned to work. He heard some quiet Roxy music coming from Blaine's room, so he followed it.

Blaine was sitting on his bed when Kurt opened the door. He was still in the same pajamas that he was in the morning, an eye patch on his left eye, reading a magazine.

"Hey," Kurt said softly. Blaine almost jerked off the bed to Kurt's voice and tensed but as soon as he noticed Kurt he relaxed.

"Jeez, you scared me," a boy breathed.

"The front door wasn't locked so I let myself in. Is okay?"

"Yeah, of course."

A silence followed which Kurt didn't really know how to fill. Blaine followed him with his eyes when Kurt walked over to the bed and sat by the edge.

"I don't think you should be reading," Kurt noted and waved towards to the magazine.

"I discovered that there isn't much I can do without using my eyes so I figured that least a little reading wouldn't hurt."

"So it doesn't?"

"It kind of does.." Blaine laughed, Kurt smiled too, feeling how the tension he had bought in slowly started to fade.

"Let me read it for you," Kurt said then, tensing immediately at his own choice of words. Blaine frowned lightly but let Kurt to take the magazine anyway.

Kurt read some articles to Blaine as he felt his boyfriend's gaze on him. When he was finished, he put the magazine aside and pulled his bag up on the bed. He took out the notes he had written down for Blaine but his moving tensed when he noticed the envelope. Kurt had almost forgot about it. He hesitated but took it out anyway and added it to the pile of Blaine's notes.

Blaine took the notes and started to briefly read them, flipping the pages carelessly until he noticed it. He froze, stopped flipping and took the letter between his fingers.

"It came today with the mail," Kurt uttered quietly when he saw Blaine's reaction. The boy dragged his watery eyes from the letter to Kurt slowly.

"Kurt.." Blaine said with half pleading, half groaning tone.

"I just.. can't wrap my head around it. Want to explain?"

"I- I," he stuttered but that didn't help. New kind of rage mumbled under Kurt's skin and he just wanted to let it out.

"I was like.. sitting on Spanish class and my father came in and asked me to go with him and he gave me the letter and started asking why I haven't told him that I was planning to apply for this school and I just looked up to him and," Kurt's voice was close to broking, so was he. "and said that I wasn't. Like.. I thought about it but never applied because I knew that I wouldn't get in and Blaine,_I can't handle another rejection_."

Kurt stopped and looked at Blaine, who's eyes flickered with sorry and understanding before his hands took the envelope again and tore it open before Kurt couldn't protest.

"You're a finalist," Blaine said as soon as his eyes landed on the letter. "You're a finalist, Kurt."

"What?" Kurt mumbled because he really wasn't sure if he was hearing right.

"You become a finalist," Blaine repeated, a small smile on his face.

Kurt thought about Blaine's words for a moment but shook himself out of it then.

"That doesn't mean anything," he said and started to walk back and forth.

"What?!" Blaine exhaled like he didn't believe his ears. "Of course it does! It means that you're a good enough to be one of the finalists. Don't you see, Kurt? You're almost in!"

"No, I'm not!" Kurt stated with a harsh, not so happy tone and stopped walking. "It just means that I'm one of the hundred students who will get the change to audition. It's almost luck."

"_Why_ are you being like this?" Blaine whined. "Why are you pushing away the chance for your dream? Why can't you just accept it?"

"Because," Kurt said with the deep breath and closed his eyes for second. "Because it's too hard and I'm not strong enough to make it! I can't even take the rejection and _you_ should know it! You saw me after the class president voting! I can't take it." Kurt's breathing went heavier with every word, his chest rising up and down. His own words stabbed it and it hurt, a lot. "I just.. don't understand why you bothered to send it at the first place," he said then and sat by the edge of the bed again.

"Look," Blaine said then and reached out for Kurt's hand. "I'm sorry, if it upsets you. I hated to do it behind your back but I love you and I care too much about you to see you giving up your dreams."

Kurt looked into Blaine's sincere eyes. He believed him, he really did. He just didn't understand it.

"But I'm not sorry for sending it because you're finalist and that really means something, you know? You need to audition and at least give this dream a chance before your give up, okay?"

Kurt thought about his words and he had to admit that these did make sense.

"I don't know, Blaine," Kurt sighed finally when his breathing slowed down again. "I'm too.. mad and tired right now. I don't know what I want to do."

Blaine nodded but didn't say anything else, not even when Kurt stood up and took his bag.

"I.. have to go.. uhm. I need some time to.. wrap my head around it. Could you please ask Mike or Finn to bring you notes?"

Blaine blinked a few times, before he answered.

"Yeah, of course."

"I'm sorry, I love you."

Kurt leaned to lightly kiss Blaine's lips.

"I love you too," Blaine replied with sad eyes and let his hand slide over Kurt's arm.

Kurt left, feeling the need to cry but trying to hold himself back until he was safe between his bedroom's walls. It felt like the beginning of summer again, when this was the only place he felt safe. It hurt and he knew that it was no one else's fault but his.

* * *

**AN: Sorry, I probably won't be able to update for a while. I leave tomorrow so I probably won't have the computer to write for 4 days (or even if I do, I probably won't have much time) and then the schools starts and I leave home again for some kind of sick school camp and yeh.. life gets busy, sorry. I try to update on Sunday but I can't promise anything..**


	28. Chapter 27

**AN: Sorry** **it took me so long. My first year of high school started (no worries, the school system is really different here from the rest of the world, so I'm not 14 or something..) and around here it's basically the preperation for university/college which means A LOT of work and a lot of stupid traditions. Also, I know that story might get confusing for you because I can't really expalin everything in the story the way I'd like to because of my poor english but I welcome questions in the comments and also on tumblr (lightsandleaves).  
**

**Thanks for reading! :)  
**

* * *

Chapter 27

"Kurt, what are you doing?"

Kurt startled at girl's voice and pulled his eyes away from the letter that he had been reading again for the last half an hour. Rachel stood there, by the door of Kurt's room and watched him with kind of red eyes.

"Right question would be," Kurt said and quickly folded the letter. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Me and Finn just got back from Blaine's house," she answered as she walked into the room but didn't explain more. Instead she sighed. "What are you doing, Kurt?"

"Nothing, I'm doing.. nothing."

He tried to hide the letter but it was clearly too late.

"I mean with Blaine," Rachel whimpered. She came closer and sat on the bed next to Kurt. "What are you doing with Blaine?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You are pulling away from him again. You're shutting down."

"Rachel I'm not.. shutting down," Kurt argued with a shaky fake laugh because he knew that Rachel was probably right. The last days had been quite the same as the last time Kurt had pulled away from people. "I'm taking my time to.. think."

"About NYADA?"

Something tensed between them and Kurt didn't miss the sad wink in Rachel's eyes.

"I can't believe he did this for me," Kurt admitted then and took the letter between his fingers again. "I can't believe that you two did something like this behind my back."

Rachel looked at the letter and reached out to take it. Kurt gave it, immediately feeling weirdly unsure, wishing he could just hold it again. She touched the paper like it was made of gold and read it carefully every word.

"What did your letter say?" Kurt inquired when she put the letter down.

"I.. haven't got one."

"Oh, Rachel," Kurt sighed, now realizing why Rachel's eyes looked so sad. "You know, that doesn't mean anything."

"I don't want to talk about it," she stated then. "I came here to talk to you, about Blaine. Whatever you're doing, you have to stop walking away like this."

"Rachel, I didn't break up with him, I just said that I needed some time to think about.. _this_," Kurt uttered and gestured to the letter that was lying between them now. "I'm kind of mad at you two too, but it's not just that. I.. don't think that I can do that audition."

"Of course you can." Rachel's voice was sure and deep, kind of mad and strong. "You _have_ to audition. You are the finalist of school that you didn't even apply for. But right now, you have to talk to Blaine."

"Rachel, I can't.." he tried to explain but Rachel didn't let him.

"Kurt, Blaine has a surgery next week and he's terrified. He's afraid of losing you and he's afraid of that surgery where he's going because he protected you. Stop being selfish and go see Blaine."

Kurt couldn't say anything more, neither did Rachel. They looked at each other for a long time until she stood up and walked towards the door again.

"And start practicing for that damn audition," he heard Rachel mumble before she left.

* * *

Kurt didn't go to see Blaine. They didn't call, they didn't text to each other and Kurt was a little afraid to do that. Honestly, Kurt didn't know what he was doing or how the felt about NYADA anymore. He missed Blaine, he did but it felt a little too much to talk with him.

Blaine had to wear the eye patch because of Kurt. He had sent the NYADA application for Kurt and he had been talking with Sebastian. It was just a lot to take in and now Kurt had that letter and he had to decide if he was going to audition.

Kurt didn't go to see Blaine until the previous evening of his surgery.

"Kurt," Ms. Anderson smiled as she opened the door and let Kurt to walk in. "How lovely to see you again," she said obviously frowning a little, judging Kurt for not being around lately.

"Hey," Kurt simply answered because he couldn't say anything else. He didn't have an excuse for not being there when Blaine probably needed him the most.

"Kurt," another, deeper, voice came behind Blaine's mother. Ms. Anderson turned around to look at his son, whose eyes were clued on Kurt. She left then, saying something that they obviously needed to talk.

Kurt became more and more nervous with just standing there, Blaine's mother's word didn't exactly help. For a second Kurt wondered if she knew anything, if maybe she and Blaine had been discussing their relationship, if Blaine wanted to break up.

But as soon as Ms. Anderson disappeared into the kitchen, Blaine took a few quick steps, closer to Kurt and reached out to pull him to a hug.

"Hey," Kurt sighed with relieve. He felt Blaine laughing against him.

"Hey," Blaine mumbled. "How are you?"

"I'm.. fine," Kurt replied although it wasn't exactly true. "Yourself?"

"A lot better now."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." They pulled away from each other; Kurt immediately missed the warmth of Blaine's body. Blaine took Kurt's slender hands into his big ones and just simply held them there. "You said you needed time alone, I get that, I do."

"I still need to.. think," Kurt uttered quietly but Blaine just nodded.

"It's okay," he said and moved closer to Kurt's face again.

"I just.. wanted to make sure you're okay before.. your surgery."

"Thanks," Blaine responded but Kurt wasn't even sure if Blaine knew he was talking because they were even closer: their noses snuggled and lips just few millimeters away. Finally, Kurt let their lips to touch and move together until it turned into a heated and needy kiss, Kurt hands on Blaine's hair, Blaine hands on Kurt's back, pulling him closer. They didn't stop until they needed air. Only then they pulled their lips apart to breathe but not moving another step away from each other's embrace.

"Did they tell how long you're going to have to recover? When can you return to school?" Kurt asked then with a slight whisper.

"No, it depends how the surgery will go." Something broken echoed in Blaine's voice and Kurt could feel him tensing a little.

"It will be fine, you'll be fine," Kurt tried to assure and took Blaine's upper lip between his own lips again for a second. "You _have_ to get fine."

"I love you."

A warm heat boiled in Kurt when he heard that. He could believe it and it felt wonderful.

"I love you too."

They kissed one more time, slower this time, trying to make it last as long as possible

"You should probably get some rest before tomorrow," Kurt said then, hating himself for it. Blaine didn't respond, just let Kurt go and pulled away. "Call me if you need me, okay? I don't know if they are going to let me in after the surgery.. but let me know if you're at least back home, okay?"

Blaine nodded, his eyes glanced over Kurt's face unsurely.

"See you then?" he asked and Kurt smiled.

"See you then. Go and try to get some rest."

Kurt leaned a little closer again just to peck Blaine's cheek, then opened the front door and walked out.

Although things were still heavy and difficult, Kurt could feel a lot better. It was easier to walk and breathe. Although Kurt wasn't okay, he knew that at least Blaine was okay before his surgery.

* * *

Kurt did get to see Blaine tight after his surgery. He went there with flowers and placed them next to Blaine's bed. He sat by the edge of the bed and they talked and discussed life in McKinley and Kurt announced that Rachel got the letter from NYADA too.

"Will you do the audition?" Blaine asked and looked at their hands that were linked together.

Kurt hesitated before responding. "Do you want me do audition?"

"Of course I want you to audition, you know it. I sent this application for reason."

"Then I'll audition," Kurt stated quietly.

"I don't want you to do this for me; I want you to this for yourself."

"I don't know if I can do this," Kurt admitted. Blaine looked at him sadly and stroked his hand but didn't say anything. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Have you sent any of your own college application?"

Blaine swallowed. "Uhm.. I applied for NYU and some other schools."

"All of them in New York?" Kurt was surprised.

"Most of them in New York," Blaine corrected and although it made perfect sense, it also made Kurt's heart sank a little. He tensed and he knew that Blaine saw that, but he couldn't really help it. "I have an audition too.. soon after yours I think."

"Really? What audition?"

"To this Actor's Studio in New York.."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm still unsure about this, but I feel good about it.."

"I'm glad," Kurt said and he really was. He would've asked more about it but that's when the nurse came in and asked him to leave. Kurt kissed Blaine goodbye and left, promising to call later.

* * *

Kurt was quite busy with school that week so he didn't get to see Blaine the next days. Ms. Anderson had also demanded Blaine to rest as much as possible, so it turned almost impossible to see him. They did send texts and called, but that didn't feel enough for Kurt. Although he still needed time alone, he also couldn't help but miss his boyfriend. This is how he ended up at Rachel's sleepover with Mercedes.

"What would you do if Blaine asked you to marry him?" Rachel asked him and Kurt went silent.

He honestly didn't know. Kurt loved Blaine and if it was up to him, he would spend the rest of his life with Blaine. He loved the idea of them two living together in New York, he did dream about their future and, yes, about their marriage, but Kurt tried to limit his dreams as much as possible, he tried to be realistic. He knew that high school relationship almost always end. This was how things were; there was nothing he could do about it.

"Finn asked Rachel to marry him!" Kurt exhaled over the phone next day. "I should tell Carole and dad, right? Right?!"

"Wait, what?!" Blaine mumbled, probably not really awake yet since it was quite early in the morning. "Finn did _what?_"

"Oh! I should talk to Finn!" Kurt stated. "Of course! He is just moping around because he can't figure out his future! _That's_ why he did it."

"Wait a minute Kurt! Are you serious right now?"

"I'm dead serious," Kurt sighed then and sat down. "Finn asked Rachel to marry him and Rachel said yes."

"Oh, wow." Kurt could almost see Blaine through the phone, scratching his own head. "Well, that's a little.. unexpected."

"That's the dumbest decision they have ever made."

"Aren't you being a little too.. harsh?" Blaine asked carefully.

Kurt frowned and bit his lip so tightly, it almost started to bleed.

"Are you seriously saying that this isn't bad?!" he inquired madly.

"I'm not saying, that this is their brightest idea, I'm simply saying that I get that.. The reason why they want to get married I mean. I get why they want to be together for the rest of their lives and I know how it feels."

Kurt was speechless, a high pressure in his chest didn't let the voice out of him and his brain couldn't form any words.

"Kurt? You still there?"

"Uhm, yeah," Kurt coughed to that, trying to get his speech back. "Yeah, I get that too," he admitted discreetly. "But you don't need ring for that right away. If you're going to be together with someone for the rest of your life, you can also do it without the ring. Or without papers that just say that you're together with someone."

"So who are we talking about exactly?" Blaine asked. Kurt stilled, feeling speechless again.

"I.. honestly don't know," Kurt answered with a light smile. He felt a blush in his own cheeks, it was the good thing that they talked over the phone. Kurt was also sure, that Blaine smiled a little, something about his voice and maybe even something his breathing gave it away.

"So what are you going to do?" Blaine questioned then. Kurt felt this weird moment between them suddenly fading away.

"I don't know exactly," Kurt admitted. "But I'm going to have to talk with Finn."


	29. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

It wasn't until the next week when Blaine could finally see his boyfriend again. His mother had been very strict with guests after the surgery and Kurt still held the distance. They called each other every evening and texted once in a while, but that was it. The Valentine's day rolled around and it became physically hard to stay away from Kurt. Finally, the doctor allowed him to return to school and Blaine appeared to Sugar's party.

The distance was gone immediately, everything felt normal between them again, or maybe even better than normal. They danced together for the whole night; no one even seemed to have a problem with them sharing some light kisses.

"How's your eye?" Kurt finally asked while they danced slowly on the mostly empty dance floor.

"Doctor said it's fine now, nothing to worry about."

Blaine could see a relief in Kurt's smile, but still something sad in his eyes.

"You okay?" Blaine decided to ask carefully after a short silence.

Kurt bit his lip and nodded but didn't look really convincing.

"I, uhm.." the boy mumbled then. "received some.. cards. From secret admirer." Blaine's heart skipped a beat to that. They stopped the slow swinging; Blaine looked at Kurt with confusion, probably also with a fear. "They were from Karofsky."

"Karofsky?!" Blaine almost exhaled with disbelieve and took a step back. "The same guy who bullied you and then attacked you with a.. _kiss_?!"

"Yeah," Kurt sighed and pulled Blaine close again so they started to rock with the slow melody again. "He came here before the party and told me that he loves me but I told him that I'm with you and god, he looked so broken when he walked out.." Kurt's voice broke and few tears ran down his cheek. "He got rejected and I know exactly how it feels like, but now I'm the one who did this to him.."

Blaine didn't let him continue and pulled him to his arms, squeezing his thin body probably a little too tightly.

"Kurt, you didn't do anything wrong," he said quietly into Kurt's ear. "We all go through some broken hearts, we can't help it."

"Yeah, but.."

"No 'but's, Kurt. It's another part of life and you did the right thing." Blaine let go of Kurt then, realizing something that terrified him the most. "Unless.. your feelings with Karofsky are mutual.."

"What? No!" Kurt answered quickly and Blaine breathed out the breath he didn't even know he was holding. "No, Blaine, I love _you_. Karofsky doesn't change that."

Blaine simply nodded and linked their hands as he moved closer to his face.

"Then you did nothing wrong, don't beat yourself up for this, okay?"

Kurt nodded back and smiled lightly once again. They stayed like this for a while: standing in the middle of the empty dance floor, holding each other's hands and faces so close, not so far away from the kiss that didn't happen.

"I've decided to audition," Kurt stated then. It took a second for Blaine to react.

"You're not doing this for me, aren't you?" he questioned.

Kurt paused for a second and looked at Blaine thoughtfully. For a second, Blaine got scared, but then Kurt answered with full confident: "No, I'm doing this for myself."

"Then I'm happy for you."

A bright smile appeared on Blaine's face and he finally leaned to kiss tenderly his boyfriend's lips.

* * *

No one could've expected what came next week. No one couldn't expect Karofsky's suicide attempt. And no one wasn't so upset as Kurt.

Blaine held him for hours that day after they had heard the news. He rocked him and stroked his back while bitter tears ran down his own cheeks as well. He didn't even know Karofsky, Blaine had never met the guy but it was horrible in so many levels. It hurt because people had taken Karofsky to this far because of his sexuality. It hurt because Blaine couldn't imagine the agony that Karodsky was probably in. It hurt because it hurt Kurt so badly that he couldn't stop weeping and crying for hours until he got tired and fell asleep on Blaine's arms.

"Do you think, you could stay the night?" Burt asked when Blaine had tucked Kurt in between soft sheets. "Kurt needs you right now."

Blaine couldn't really believe Burt's words at first but eventually it made sense, he didn't want to leave Kurt neither. He called to his mother, explained the situation and asked her to bring some clothes. He woke Kurt up for a light dinner, then they both changed into pajamas and quietly crawled under the blanket.

Just when Blaine thought that Kurt had fallen asleep again, he felt a silent mumble against his chest where Kurt's head was resting.

"I thought about it," Kurt uttered. Blaine was confused at first but then Kurt continued: "About suicide, just before I met you."

Blaine swallowed, hard, feeling his chest getting heavier and heavier under Kurt's head. He was just about to open his mouth to say anything, not even sure what, when Kurt's voice cut him off again.

"I never really thought about attempting but I thought about how it would feel like. I thought about cutting and harming and suicide but I stopped myself with thinking about my dad and what it would do to him.."

"Kurt," Blaine growled because that was the only thing he could get out of his lungs. "Oh god, Kurt."

Kurt shifted himself off from Blaine's chest and put his head right next to Blaine's, so Blaine could see the hurt in his eyes.

"I haven't told it to anybody," he confessed with a weep and Blaine could feel his own tears building up. "And right now, it seems stupid, because I still had my family and friends but I was the one who pushed _them_ away."

"Stop, stop it right now," Blaine ordered then. "It's not stupid, you were broken. Stop blaming yourself." He almost pleaded, he couldn't really say why. Maybe it was because he was tired, maybe he just felt hopeless because he didn't know how to help Kurt anymore. For a second he imagined what it would've done to Burt, what would his own life be without Kurt but he quickly forbid himself to think about it. So he did what he knew that almost always helped: he pulled Kurt closer again and tried to show how much he cared about him, that he wasn't alone with actions.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said then like he had been hearing Blaine's thoughts. "I'm a wreck."

"It's okay, not your fault."

"Thank you," he sighed to that. "For staying, for being here."

"I could never leave," Blaine answered shakily and stroked Kurt's right cheek. They just looked at each other silently while few other tears tripped down from both of their eyes before falling asleep for a while.

Kurt woke up twice in that night and Blaine calmed his weeps down. In the morning, Kurt insisted on going to school although Burt had suggested staying home. The rest of the week was hard as well, especially when Blaine couldn't stay with Kurt for the night anymore. Even though Kurt assured him that he was better now, Blaine still couldn't help but worry.

They were busy with Regional practice and the drama that Rachel and Finn's marriage had brought in. Kurt visited Karofsky in the hospital while Blaine waited outside. Kurt's eyes were still swallowed and red but he looked stronger, more peaceful after the visit. Blaine also had to face Sebastian again which made a week even more tiring.

No one expected the news that Rachel and Finn are going to marry right after the competition. And no one expected Quinn's car accident that cut the their plans.

* * *

Their lives calmed down when March rolled around. Although everybody were sad and confused about Quinn, Blaine could see the rest in Kurt's actions: he had stopped crying after few weeks and it seemed that he finally got some sleep. They even went to a lovely date on Blaine's birthday to Breadstix and Burt and Blaine's parents were fine with Kurt staying the night. The spent the whole night kissing and making love because they both had missed the closeness: it had been weeks since they got to do that. These were rough weeks that were finally over now.

There was another rough week for Blaine in April when Cooper visited him. Blaine couldn't get a picture of Kurt's face out of his head when he first saw Cooper and although this week was mostly about him and Cooper, he couldn't help but feel a little rusty around Kurt.

"So, tell me, we've been dating for a while now. Why did you never mentioned the fact that your brother is Cooper Anderson?" Kurt asked at the end of the week when Cooper had flown back to Los Angeles and they could finally have Blaine's house to themselves again. It was a quiet and comfortable evening where they just enjoyed each other's company.

Blaine didn't answer right away, simply because he didn't know what to say. He just raised his head and looked into his boyfriend's eyes.

"I'm jealous, I guess," he confessed then.

"Jealous of what exactly?" Kurt inquired with a frown.

"Jealous of Cooper's life, his fame and great looks. I mean, you got all this smitten face when you saw him and I can't even blame you."

Kurt blinked blankly few times and then snorted. He actually snorted and laughed.

"Okay, first of all, as wonderful as his life seems, I'm pretty sure it isn't twice as great as he claims it to be," Kurt said. "Secondly, his so called _fame_ is there only because of his smile. And yes, he looks handsome but _so do you_. I wasn't smitten, you idiot."

A warm and soft feeling weighted down on Blaine's stomach. He missed it: he didn't just miss the intimacy with Kurt in those rough weeks but he also missed the laugh and lightness between them.

"You so were smitten; admit it," Blaine uttered and shifted himself on the top of Kurt. "He looks better than me, we both know it."

"What the hell makes you think that?" Kurt asked.

"Well, first of all, he isn't a _hobbit_ like me," Blaine answered but couldn't get to continue because Kurt started laughing even harder than before. "What?! Stop it!" he pleaded with a high voice.

"Oh, god, you're adorable," Kurt sighed when he calmed down just a little.

"Well, it bothers me sometimes that you are shorter than me, okay?" he confessed with a blush.

"You're ridiculous," Kurt spoke and shifted himself up. With one simple move, Blaine was back on his back and Kurt on top of him instead. "You're so ridiculous that it makes me fall in love with you even more."

They grinned to each other widely, looking more smitten to each other than ever before.

"I love you too," was all that Blaine could say before Kurt leaned into the soft and simple kiss that quickly turned into something more.


	30. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

April flew by quite quickly for Kurt. It was filled with a lot of homework, long glee practices and some drama. He and Mercedes had helped Wade, a guy from the Vocal Adreline while Mercedes figured out her future and things with Sam. He and Rachel were prepared for their audition for NYADA, Blaine always by his side. Little things mattered a lot and Kurt and Blaine both spent their free time with their friends. Graduation wasn't so far away, Kurt realized. He knew he'd soon have to say goodbye to Mercedes and Tina and to other people in New Directions. Even though he had decided to audition for NYADA, he was still unsure about his future and nervous about his _and Blaine__'s_ future.

Blaine was the one who really brought it up for the first time.

"You know, we should talk about New York," he said randomly into the silence when they were at the music shop, looking for Whitney Huston's sheet music.

It mentally hit Kurt into the face quite suddenly and he looked at his boyfriend with a frown.

"We can't postpone this discussion for forever," Blaine added then.

Kurt shrugged and looked back on the sheet music he was looking at.

"We can't even be sure if I can get into NYADA. I don't even know for sure if you want to go to New York."

"Well I do, I've decided," Blaine stated with full confidence. "And I don't mean that we should discuss colleges. I mean we should agree on.. us. What does it mean for us, if we both go to New York."

Kurt got more and more confused. "That means that we don't have to break up..?" he asked carefully because that's something that has been in his mind a lot. That's when he realized what Blaine might have wondered about. He realized that they haven't even talked about being in New York _together_.

"Yes, but uhm.. " Blaine stuttered and looked down to the book he was holding like trying to find right words or courage to say something. "Would you like to.. live.. with me? Would you like us to live together?"

Kurt swallowed and looked at Blaine, who finally looked up to him again. A wide smile spread over his face and then over Blaine's too.

"That would be wonderful," he said and they both took a small step closer to each other to hug and share just a small, almost invisible kiss because there are people who could see and not approve.

..or there are people who are actually watching, Kurt noticed then over Blaine's shoulder. They pulled away from each other and the boy who has been staring glanced back to his own sheet music. While Blaine returned to the books, Kurt studied the boy. There was something different about the boy: he was utterly similar to Kurt, or at least to the old Kurt who used to wore expensive outfits instead of simple dark jeans and shirts. It hits him like a struck by lightning that the boy is just as gay as he is. And that's why the boy was watching him and Blaine so fondly, almost smiling. That's why he didn't look at them with disgust like most of the people.

Kurt wondered if he should go and talk with the boy, but in Blaine's presence, it seemed like a bad idea. So he didn't say hello to the boy but simply bought the sheet music and left the store with Blaine's arm around his torso, pulling him closer.

"Don't think I didn't notice that," Blaine hissed teasingly. "That guy totally checked you out."

"You're being ridiculous," Kurt laughed.

"I'm not, but it's okay because few months from now, we will live together."

"I love you."

"I know, I love you too."

* * *

The statement that Kurt was nervous about the audition was underestimated. He spent long hours in the auditorium, always trying different songs. There was always Rachel or Blaine or even Mercedes or Tina there to say their opinion. That's when Kurt felt most loved: they all cared about him.

Mercedes has always been one of his closest friends and even though they never became just as close again as they used to be after the summer, she was still there.

Same thing was with Tina. Their friendship started when they were so different from each other: while he loved Marc Jackobs and everything from the fashion world, she was all about the dark and gothy kind of things, but despite that, she'd always been one of the closest friends from the start. She was always there, even after Kurt had pushed everyone away and she was always really caring. And now she had agreed on singing back for him on the audition and helped him with dancing.

Even though Kurt and Rachel had been kind of enemies for a long time, she was the closest friend he had now. She was his best friend. If anybody would have told Kurt in his sophomore year, that he and Rachel will be best friends in the end of their senior year, he probably would've laughed out loud.

And then, of course, there was Blaine. Blaine, who assured every single day that he loves him and wanted to live with him in _New York_. Blaine, his handsome, perfect and understanding _boyfriend,_ who saved Kurt from this whole he was in before they met. And the thought of them living together.. was fabulous, perfect, a dream.

But as perfect as the dream wasn't, Kurt had to admit, he was still a little skeptical when it came to dreams. It still felt surreal that someone like Blaine could love someone like Kurt: a wreck and worn off guy who needs to be saved all the time.

And what the New York thing mean anyway? That they could just live together happily even after? Could love, even high school love, last forever?

Kurt found himself wondering about that question far too many times..

* * *

Even though Kurt changed the song just before the start, the audition went by wonderfully. He loved performing, that's where he belongs and he knew it. Although he still wasn't glowing so much in his everyday life, he could still glow on stage.

What happened with Rachel audition was still confusing for Kurt. It simply didn't make any sense.

"I know that we are all shocked about Rachel's audition, but I'm still going to say this," Blaine said when they drove over to Kurt's house later that day. "You were amazing. You _are _amazing and I know for sure that this is where you belong. This has to be your future, Kurt."

Kurt listened carefully and smiled then. "I know," he confessed with a sigh. "I felt that too, on the stage."

"I'm glad."

They drove in silence for a few minutes when Kurt decided to speak up again.

"What about you?" he asked. "Where do you belong?"

Blaine's fingers tightened around the wheel. "What do you mean?"

"Are you sure you belong to New York? I mean, you're not going there just because of me, aren't you?"

Blaine pressed his lips together and glanced over to him. That scared Kurt. _Are you even sure you want to come to New York with me? Is it worth it when love maybe can't last forever?_ Million other questions went through his head but he didn't dare to ask any of them.

"I like acting," Blaine uttered. "I can't explain it, I just feel like I have to go for it, but.. uhm.. I don't know where I belong."

Kurt relaxed a bit. It didn't took him long to get Blaine's situation.

"Or maybe you're just afraid of going for it because of your brother," he suddenly said then. Yes, that made perfect sense. "Have you even told Cooper that you want to audition for that Actors Studio?"

"No, he wouldn't approve it. That's why he's in LA and never went to college."

Kurt laughed, Blaine was probably right.

"Well, I believe that maybe, acting is where you belong, but just not in the same way as Cooper," he mumbled when Blaine pulled on the driveway. Blaine stilled and smiled after a while and just when Kurt was about to ask, if everything is okay, Blaine pulled him into a hug.

"God, I struggle around this question for _weeks_ and you can figure out it with seconds. I don't know what I would do without you," he said with a thankful tone into Kurt's ear.

"I'm pretty sure that's my line," Kurt answered and they both laughed again.

It was a shocking and confusing day, but they still got this: simple moments with each other when they could understand each other more than they understood themselves.

_Can love last forever?_

* * *

"I can't remember if I ever told you about my prom last year.." Kurt mumbled after an eventful evening of prom.

Blaine dared his eyes away from the small mirror he was holding. He had been staring at it for the last few minutes. His soft curls touched Kurt's skin as they were laying next to each other on Blaine's bed. It felt a little unusual because there had been a while since he saw Blaine like this: without any hair gel in his curls.

"I don't think you did," he said as shifted himself onto his stomach and held his upper body up with his hands to look into Kurt's eyes. "But Mercedes did."

"She.. what?!" Kurt exhaled. "She had no right to!"

"Kurt, it was a long time ago, in the summer. Don't worry about it."

Kurt didn't want to let it go, because he felt like he should be the one to tell this stuff to Blaine, but he was tired. He was tired and he was in Blaine's bed and Blaine's parents weren't even home and his dad had asked himself if Kurt would like to spend the night after prom with Blaine. It was a wonderful idea, Kurt had decided because who knows, when things would change between him and Blaine. Who knows when he won't get to feel Blaine's curls against his skin again..

Suddenly he wasn't so tired after all and leaned down to kiss Blaine, deeply and surely.

* * *

After some drama but the win of Nationals, it was the last chance to say goodbye. When Blaine was on his audition with Finn, Kurt took a trip to the music store to find a song to sing for the glee club for goodbye.

As soon as he took a step into the store, he noticed him again: the blonde, kind of cute boy flipping through some books. Kurt found him interesting, wishing he could talk with him. Yes, he loved Blaine, but something, some kind of weird feeling made him want talk to that boy. He didn't want a new boyfriend, no. He just felt like he needed to know some other gay person, who wasn't his boyfriend or Sebastian or Karofsky. A friend maybe, Kurt wasn't sure.

_Can love last forever?_

The boy glanced over to him and smiled lightly, Kurt smiled back. But then he realized that he shouldn't be afraid of talking with him: after all, Kurt didn't look for a date and it was allowed to make new.. friends.. right?

"Hey," Kurt said as he took a step closer to the boy. The boy's eyebrows rose as the surprise spread all over his face.

"Hey," the boy said back.

"I'm Kurt Hummel."

"Chandler."

They shook hands and smiled.

"I noticed you," Kurt uttered. "The last time I was here with my.. with Blaine." Kurt scared himself in that moment. For some reason, he couldn't say 'boyfriend' instead of Blaine. "You were.. uhm.. kind of drooling."

The boy, Chandler, blushed.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I didn't mean to be creepy.. You two just make a lovely couple.."

Something clenched in Kurt's heart to that. He didn't really want to talk or think about Blaine even though Chander's comment was cute

"So uhm.. what are you looking for?" Kurt inquired then and nodded to the songbook that Chandler was holding, ignoring the guilt that flooded him over.

"Actually the same thing that I looked the last time.. but I don't need it anymore," Chandler answered.

"Then.. why are you still here?" Kurt's confused.

"To be perfectly honest.." A blush creeps around Chandler's neck even more. "I just hoped to see you around here again."

"Oh." _Oh._ It felt awkward and Kurt turned away a little with a smile. He had to remindhimself that he wasn't doing anything wrong. If anything, then maybe Chandler had crossed the line a bit, but where was that line anyway? "What did you needed it for then?" Kurt asked, trying to make the awkwardness in the situation fade.

"Uhm.. well I looked something for my audition for NYU."

"Oh, really, New York?"

"Yeah.. It's still kind of strange to think that in a few months I will leave this town for the big apple. I mean, it hasn't been easy around here, but I'll miss my family and friends."

"Tell me about it," Kurt sighed. That's when he remembered why he came here at the first place. "I'm trying to get away too.. I auditioned for NYADA, I should get my acceptance letter in a few days I think."

"Oh, yeah, I heard you two talking about it.." Another rock hit Kurt's heart when Chandler kind of mentioned Blaine. "Oh, well good luck with that.."

"Thank you."

They fell into the silence again until Chandler busted out a question with a very enthusiastic tone:

"Could I get your phone number?"

Kurt froze, his heart probably skipped a beat. He turned to look at the boy: he was smiling, more brightly and he seemed to feel comfortable with the energy that now surrounded him.

"I know you have a boyfriend, just.. we newyorkers should keep together, you know?"

Kurt hesitated before answering.

"Sure."

* * *

**AN: Oh woah, there's like.. 2 or so chapters left plus a little epilogue o.O**


	31. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Kurt stared at his NYADA letter, reading those words that hurt him so badly all over again and again.

_I didn't get in_. _I didn't get in even after all this hell that people went through for this._

It hurt, it felt like his heart was on fire. He wanted to break down, he wanted to let himself go and just.. cry in front of his step brother, who looked almost just as devastated as he, Rachel, who had some kind of sparkle of hope or happiness her eyes, because _she got it_ and Blaine who hadn't opened his letter yet.

Kurt walked out of the choir room, slowly with shaky legs. He ignored every smiley face that passed him in the halls and thanked god, who he didn't even believe in, because there wasn't.. Blaine. Blaine didn't follow him, just simply let him go.

No, he couldn't face Blaine right now. He couldn't talk with him.

So he just walked until he found himself in the parking lot. He didn't let himself cry before he was in his car. He didn't let the tears run before he could hide his face and lean his head against the wheel. He cried because it hurt and burned and everything fell into pieces. Every little fear that he had, was coming true now. Every little hope of future was gone.

* * *

Blaine wasn't exactly thinking when he let Kurt walk out of the choir room. He still held his envelope and he didn't know what the letter meant for him. He was confused and a weird shiver went over his spine. Watching Kurt shake as he walked almost broke Blaine's heart.

It took quite a few minutes before it really hit Blaine. He almost had to slap himself before he could understand what he has to do. With one shift move, he turned around and ran after Kurt. When he got out of the choir room he realized that he didn't know where to look. Choir room was the one safe room where Blaine would look in any other situation; this school didn't have any other connections to Kurt.

"Hey, have you seen Kurt?" Blaine asked from Tina and Mike who walked by him. They both shook their heads and frowned.

Then there was Mercedes and Puck, but neither of them didn't know anything neither. Santana, who was standing by his locker, was also clueless. Blaine even ran over to Mr. Schuester's History class and Ms. Pillsbury office but nothing. The parking lot was the last place he checked.

And there he was, sitting in his car, completely broken down and crying, weeping sharp tears that could have easily harm his eyes. If Blaine's heart wasn't broken before, it sure was now. He could feel Kurt's pain so easily.

Blaine slowly walked over to the car, holding back the tears of his own. He knocked on the window.

Kurt startled, his head raised from the wheel and his red eyes looked outside.

"Go away," he mouthed.

Blaine simply couldn't except this answer and he walked to the other side and sat to the passenger seat.

"Please," Kurt pleaded. "Leave me alone."

"Kurt," Blaine said with a sore throat. "Please don't shut me down because of it, I beg you."

Kurt didn't say anything for while so Blaine thought that it's a good thing.

"You haven't opened your letter," he noticed then. Blaine could feel the heaviness of that envelope when he heard him saying it. "You should do it."

"I don't.."

"Open it." Kurt's voice was demanding and deep so Blaine took the envelope between his two hands. Slowly, really really slowly he opened it and released the letter inside. He couldn't read it though.

It was like a silent agreement when Kurt took the letter from Blaine's hands and unfolded it. Seconds passed like hours of pain and agony, not mystery or hope. Just pain.

"You got in," Kurt stated then, his eyes still on the letter. "Congratulations, you got in." He handed the letter back. "You're going to New York."

"Kurt, that doesn't mean.."

"You are going to New York." Another hiccup echoed from Kurt's voice. "Could you please leave me alone now?" he asked then. Blaine's heart ached even more. "Please, Blaine?"

Blaine couldn't find any other words to say so he did. He left the car and watched as Kurt rode away.

* * *

Kurt locked himself into his room when he got home. He shoot away Carole's and Burt's questions that echoed behind his door. He didn't leave the room for the dinner and no one invited him either. He figured that Finn had done the same when he got home so the usual family dinner wouldn't happen this night.

His phone vibrated and he knew that he had quite a many texts, but he didn't read them. He could hear Rachel's voice from the living room, who was probably explaining the situation to Carole and Burt. He also wasn't surprised to hear Blaine's voice. After all, he has been almost part of the family since the summer.

Kurt recognized Blaine knock. Door opened slowly.

"Can I come in?" the boy asked politely. Kurt didn't answer. He could feel Blaine's glare at as he was lying on his bed and stared the ceiling. "How are you?"

It took a moment before the question sink in. Then Kurt snorted.

"How am I?" he mumbled sarcastically. He shifted himself to a sitting position and looked at Blaine for the first time. Kurt could see a wink of worry in boy's eyes, but he couldn't really wonder about it. "Honestly? I'm hurt, I'm in pain. I'm angry and in fire."

"Kurt, I'm.." Blaine tried to say but now when he could manage his words again, Kurt couldn't stop.

"I feel like throwing everything away and smashing it." Kurt's tone changed angrier and words came out faster. "I feel like punching somebody until he can't walk. I feel disappointed and tired. I'm angry because this is exactly why I didn't want to apply for this damned school. And here I am!" he blurted out

Silence continued for a second, either of them didn't speak. The air was thick with tension and that Kurt felt like there was no air left to breathe.

"Kurt, I.. don't know what to say," Blaine finally murmured so quietly that Kurt barely heard it.

"Please, just leave me alone," Kurt pleaded and laid back again, tears running down his cheeks.

Blaine left.

* * *

Blaine didn't come over or call or even text in the next days. In fact, Kurt didn't see him until the day that Finn decided to send Rachel off to New York.

It was a tearful goodbye. For Kurt it was even more painful to see her go when he couldn't go with her. He had to fake a smile as he stood there, Blaine right next to him as they said their goodbyes and hugged her.

"You should've gone with her," Kurt said when the train had finally left and everybody started going to different directions. Kurt walked towards to his car, Blaine followed.

"I can't go without you," Blaine answered and to that, Kurt froze. They stopped walking and Kurt slowly turned around to face Blaine.

"You have to go, you belong there," Kurt stated although these words made him want to cry even more.

"So do you!" Blaine whined. He was tired, Kurt could see. "Kurt, don't.. don't push me away. Don't start your summer the same way that you did last time."

"It's too late for that," Kurt mumbled and turned his back to Blaine again started walking to his car again, Blaine still following him.

"Don't say that, please, let me help you!"

"It's too much!" Kurt exhaled brokenly then and stopped again. His breathing was shaky and painful because the tears were on his throat too. He had to take a moment before continuing and Blaine waited. "It's too much, Blaine, I can't take it anymore. I couldn't win the Student Class President election, then there was Sebastian and now I lost NYADA. It's too much; I can't deal with it anymore."

Blaine stared at him, blankly, probably in confusion. Kurt couldn't say anything else either, he was confused too. He didn't know what he wanted, he didn't know why he couldn't let Blaine close, he just couldn't. He was too hurt and that held him back.

Blaine was a wreck. His mother kept reminding him that, but he knew it anyway. He was a wreck because he couldn't sleep, he didn't want to eat and he couldn't find anything to live for. He slowly turned into a ghost.

Blaine was struggling in guilt that kept him up every night. He was in pain, because it had been weeks since he and Kurt talked. He was confused because he didn't know where it leaves them. Were they broken up? Was this it? Blaine wanted to know but he couldn't dare to speak with Kurt again, he couldn't find courage to call or even text him because he simply didn't want to hear anything about the break up, he didn't want to make it final.

"Blaine, honey, you need to eat something," his mother said on the dinner when Blaine had started to play with his food again.

"Sorry, I have no appetite."

"Blaine, you haven't been eating for weeks," his father made a notice. "Is this still about Kurt? Are you two okay?"

The concern and worry in his father's tone made Blaine's heart flicker a little. His father has always been accepting, even though he didn't take it well at first, but he hadn't really shown up the interest to Blaine's and Kurt's relationship.

"You didn't broke up, didn't you?" his mother inquired carefully.

"I.. uhm, honestly, don't know," Blaine confessed. "It's.. messy and I haven't talked with him for weeks."

His parents didn't speak for a while; they chewed their food and exchanged worried glances with each other. Finally, his mother spoke up again.

"Blaine, honey, I think you should just go and talk with him."

Blaine sighed. He knew that.

"I can't do that, I.. don't want to do that."

"Everybody's going to have to deal with their first heartbreak, Blaine," his father uttered. That almost made Blaine want to hate him again. "Not every couple can.. make it, especially in this age."

Blaine wanted to cry, tears started to build up again but he couldn't let himself fall apart in front of his father.

"It's.. complicated," Blaine uttered then. "I'm sorry, I.. have to get out."ˇ

Blaine stood up and walked out of the house, not even knowing where he's going, leaving his parents more confused and concerned than ever.

* * *

Kurt didn't know how but somehow he found himself eating dinner with Chandler. Blaine hadn't called, or texted and he missed him. He missed him like crazy and he didn't know where they were standing. He was sad and broken, totally shut down again, just like year ago. Rachel was in New York and even if she called, Kurt couldn't make himself to pick up the phone even if he wanted to. Mercedes had tried to talk, so had Tina and even Santana, but Kurt didn't let them in. They didn't know what was going on exactly but they knew enough.

It started out quite innocently and sweetly when Kurt was bored and all sad again as he was lying in his bed all day long and held the pillow, wishing it was Blaine. Chandler had called to ask some advice on sheet music. They had texted a few times before that but this was the first time for them to really talk. Chandler understood immediately from Kurt's voice that something was wrong, so he tried to get the problem out of him, but Kurt refused to talk about it. So instead he had asked Kurt out, saying that Kurt needs a fresh air and some good time. Kurt was hesitant at first, but agreed then in condition to not talk about New York.

"It's a date," Chandler had said before hanging up.

Kurt froze when he heard that because of obvious reasons. Because Kurt had a boyfriend.. or did he? Maybe Chandler had somehow just.. known that he and Blaine weren't good anymore. Maybe that was a sign.. That he and Blaine weren't boyfriends anymore. Maybe this really was final now.

So Kurt went with, he was on a date with Chandler and so far it was wonderful. He had great time with him, he was a fun guy. They went to a movie and then walked around the city towards to the Breadstix while talking about the movie. It wasn't the same as it was with Blaine, but it was alright because Kurt needed somebody. He needed to know that somebody cared and was willing to make him better with caring touches and hugs, just like Blaine did. They didn't really touch, just walked really closely, but the idea that Chandler could be the next one to hold him like Blaine, was enough. That was enough, even though Kurt knew that Chandler was about to move to New York, just like Blaine.

Finally, Kurt took the step and reached out for Chandler's warm hand. It wasn't just as warm as Blaine's and it was a lot smaller hand, but it was alright. Kurt thought, he couldn't get used to this, he could be fine with this less warmer, smaller hand even if it wasn't Blaine's.

It was wonderful because Kurt could almost forget the feeling that made him want to cry. He hadn't forgotten Blaine completely, but he wasn't the only thing in Kurt's mind anymore. It was wonderful before he heard a familiar voice behind them.

* * *

"Kurt?" Blaine mumbled because he wasn't even sure if he saw right. When both boys turned around to the voice, Blaine knew immediately that yes, he saw right.

There he was: Kurt, walking down the street with this blonde guy they saw in music store a while ago, their fingers laced together. That was enough for Blaine to understand, what kind of evening it was for them.

"Blaine," Kurt breathed with surprise and some kind of fear in his eyes. He quickly pulled away from the boy's hand.

"I..ca-can't believe this," Blaine stuttered because talking was extra hard now. His heart sank down as he saw them and that made his head spin. "We haven't even.. we're not.. I can't believe this."

"Blaine," Kurt said again with whining tone as the tear ran down his cheek. That tear meant nothing to Blaine then.

"I mean, I don't want to jump on conclusions, but.. god Kurt." His voice broke. This was it, this was final, he knew it. "I just.. can't believe you."

"Blaine, don't.. please," Kurt whimpered but this time Blaine decided not to go with it. Kurt had been the one leave Blaine for too many times, now was Blaine's turn.

He breathed out and simply shook his head as he turned around to walk away. Kurt didn't even follow.

"You were right," Blaine stated to his parents when walked back into the house. "Not everyone can make it."

His parents watched as he walked upstairs to his room but didn't say a word.

* * *

**AN: I'm quite sure that the next one will be the last one. Let me know what you think! :)  
**


	32. Chapter 31

**AN: DUNDUNdun Last chapter. Sorry, it took me so long, my life is crazy busy but here it is and I hope you like it! Also, before you read it, you should know that I actually kind of liked that Chandler character ;)**

* * *

Chapter 31

"Chandler, I.. I don't know what to say," Kurt stuttered after he had watched Blaine walking away. He wanted run after him, but he couldn't. His legs just didn't move.

"Don't say anything," Chandler answered and Kurt could hear a pain in other boy's voice. With slow moves, Kurt sat down on the street and leaned by the house's wall, like a homeless person. He started crying , he cried so much it hurt and he felt like he didn't want to live anymore.

"I'm so sorry," he cried. Bitter tears ran down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry," he said again.

"No, come on," Chandler sighed and fell down to his knees next to Kurt too. "It's okay."

"I'm so sorry," Kurt repeated again, his crying turned even worse. A few people, who passed them, glanced curiously.

"Hey, shh." With that, he was on Chandler's chest as the boy pressed him closer and rocked him. Chandler knew. Chandler knew that it wasn't him, who Kurt said sorry to.

"Let's get you home," Chandler finally said when Kurt's cries calmed down a little. He stood up and pulled Kurt with him.

They walked in silence to Kurt's car by the cinema. Neither of them didn't say a word. The atmosphere between them was tensed, unlike before. They both held their distance.

"Why are you so nice to me?" Kurt inquired later into the silence. "I mean, I.. we were on a.. uhm.. date and my boyfr- Blaine showed up and.."

"Do you remember the day when I first saw you guys in the shop?" Chandler asked him.

Kurt swallowed and nodded.

"From that day on, I've known that he loves you very, _very_ deeply," the boy stated. "And I also knew from the start that you love him back just as dearly. And he's lucky, I'm jealous of him but he is _so _lucky to have you. And so are you."

"Then why.. why are we even here?" Kurt hesitated but questioned.

"Because you two are the first couple I've met with so much love. And I admire it. But when you came back to the store, I just knew.. that there was something off. I guess I was right, wasn't I?"

Kurt was about to open his mouth to say anything but he couldn't. He simply couldn't find anything to say.

"When I texted you for the first time.. I guess I hoped I was right. I hoped that you and Blaine aren't so in love and I figured that it at least it's okay to get to know you little better. But when I first called you, I could hear that things weren't the same. So I guess I just made myself forget and ignore the fact that the last time I saw you, you had a boyfriend and asked you out, hoping that whatever heartbreak or pain you're going through, I can at least make it a little better."

Kurt smiled weakly. "It worked a little, if it makes you feel any better. At least before.. before you know what."

"Kurt," Chandler said then with his lowest voice and stopped walking. It was then when Kurt noticed that they had made it back to his car. "I don't know what it is between you two exactly, but there's one thing I know: you two are made for each other. You two deserve eternity."

Another tear came out of the corner of Kurt's eyes.

"You deserve the best guy in New York," Kurt uttered. Chandler smiled weakly.

"I'm pretty sure you already have him."

Kurt sighed.

"I'm not so sure anymore," he said quietly before sitting into his car. "Thank you Chandler."

"You are very welcome."

With that, Kurt started the engine of his car and drove home.

* * *

Kurt didn't know what to do. He was helplessly stuck in that whole and he couldn't get out of there anymore. He could see his father's frustration and worry and he wanted to explain him everything, he did, but he couldn't. At least not now. His father had too many questions that Kurt didn't know the answer for.

What does he planning to do with his future? What's going on with Blaine? Why is Kurt hiding in his room again, just like the last summer?

"That's it, Kurt!" Burt spurted one night when Kurt refused to come out of his room for dinner. "I know that you're going to through something bad again and if you're not telling me what it is, I'm going to Blaine's."

Kurt sighed heavily as his father sat down to the edge of his bed. He didn't have much choice and the last thing he needed now was a conversation between his father and his.. ex-boyfriend. So he told him. He told him everything starting from the NYADA letter and ending with the date with Chandler. His father listened him carefully and didn't cut him off, just let him talk.

"Then why the hell have you been in your bed for the whole week?!" Burt asked once Kurt finished talking "Why aren't you at Blaine's house, glaring up this mess?!"

"And tell him what? 'Sorry I went to date with another guy while we were still technically together'?"

"Yes!"

"Dad," Kurt groaned. "It's not that simple."

"Well it certainly wouldn't hurt!"

Kurt went silent. He knew that his dad was right, but no, he couldn't just do it.

"I can't do it," he confessed quietly. "I can't do this because what if we do get together again? What if we get together and then we break up again? He's going to New York, I'm stuck in here!"

"Then you go with him! Just like you guys planned at the first place!" his dad said. God, Kurt thought, they were both _so_ stubborn.

"This is crazy!"

"Love _is_ crazy!"

"What if love isn't enough?" Kurt spurt out then, feeling frustrated himself. He stopped for a second and thought about his question. The question that made him act the way he did at the first place. Burt stared at him with confusion. "What if love isn't enough, dad? I mean, what if it's supposed to be a high school thing? We're going to break up eventually, it's not like we're going to marry with each other, we're too young for that. And then I will be broken and alone again and I don't want to go through that again. I don't want to stay hanging there, with him, waiting the time when things go south."

"Oh my god," Burt groaned after a second. "I should've seen it coming when you told us about Finn and Rachel's engagement."

"What?" Kurt was the one confused now.

"Look, kiddo, there's one thing that Finn and Rachel understood better than you do: it's the crazy things that love makes you do. You're _supposed_ to act on those crazy things. You're young and in love and it's not something that you can just throw away."

"I don't follow."

"Do you know how old I was when I first met your mother?"

Kurt did know, he realized then. He just hadn't thought about it.

"Eighteen," Burt continued. "I was eighteen and your mother was seventeen. We got married few years later and we didn't regret _a thing_."

Kurt didn't say anything, Burt stopped talking for second, letting his son think about what he had just said to him.

"Kurt, you need stop this crazy wreck thing. You love Blaine, I can see it. And I also know for sure that Blaine loves you, don't ruin this."

"That doesn't mean anything," Kurt mumbled, trying to hold back his tears. "Just because it worked out for you and mom, doesn't mean it will work out for me and Blaine."

Burt didn't answer immediately.

"That boy made you smile after all that crap you went through after that year," Burt mumbled thoughtfully. "That boy was there for you for the crap you went through this year. And still, every time I saw him, I could see in his eyes, how his love to you grows. It's powerful and real. Believe me when I say that it's not just the high school fling. This is something _so much bigger_. And I can't think of anyone else who deserves it more than you do."

Kurt cried again, he cried in his father's arms because now it felt even worse. He wanted to believe him, but now it was ruined anyway.

"I don't know what to do," he cried while his father was the one to rock him this time. "I really screwed it up."

* * *

Blaine was sorting out his things for New York, when his father stepped into his room.

"Blaine what are you doing?" he asked with a serious tone and frowned. It was actually a little unusual of him to come to Blaine's room.

"Planning my move, I told you guys two weeks ago."

Mr. Anderson stared at his son blankly for a moment before opening his mouth again. "Oh god I didn't even understood that you were serious," he mumbled then and took a step closer to Blaine.

"Well, I got into the Acting Studio, that was the plan, wasn't it? Me going to New York after the graduation."

"Yes, but what about Kurt?"

Blaine stopped the sorting and blinked at the man. He wasn't sure if he had heard correctly "You really haven't been listening what I've said to you, have you? We broke up."

"Really, so you're just going to let things stay like this?" his father spoke in.. shock?

"Dad, please, it's not like you care anyway," Blaine answered and turned his back to him again. His dad had never shown up much interest to his and Kurt's relationship and Blaine was used with it. He didn't even miss it.

"Of course I care! You're my son!" his father exhaled to that.

"Your _gay_ son," Blaine corrected stolidly.

His father went silent for a second, before groaning and burying his face into his hands.

"Blaine, look at me," he said then. His father made him turn back around as he grabbed Blaine's shoulders. "I know that I haven't been the perfect father to you since you came out and I'm sorry, but that doesn't mean that I stopped loving you, stopped caring about."

"I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable," Blaine confessed.

"You're not. You're making feel sad, because you are sad and I don't know what to do."

Blaine swallowed and bit his lip, feeling more confused about his father than ever.

"I just.. need to sort my stuff for New York," he uttered reluctantly and pulled away from his father's arms.

"No, Blaine, don't push me away, tell me what is going on," his father begged.

Blaine shrugged. He had been crying so much that he was out of tears for now and he couldn't feel anything. He just existed without feelings, just with bittersweet and painful memories.

"We didn't talk for weeks and then I saw him walking down the street holding hands with another guy. So here I am. I really don't want talk about this."

"Oh," his father sighed.

Blaine continued with going through his shelves while his dad let the information sink in. He could see some kind of worry in his father's eyes; he wasn't sure what kind of.

"Have you talked with him?"

"Why the hell do you care?!" Blaine spurted out angrily then. "Just two weeks ago you were telling me that I should let this go and move on and now.. now you're so surprised to see me packing up my stuff without Kurt?! What the hell dad?"

"I didn't realize how much you love this boy!"

Blaine took a step back and looked directly into his father's eyes. It took a moment, before he realized that his father was telling the truth.

"I didn't realize how serious you guys were. I just.. thought that maybe you were together because of the loneliness and I'm sorry."

"So you thought that I was dating because he's the only gay guy in the town?" Blaine asked, still feeling quite angry. "I hate to break this is a really naïve thing to believe in."

"I wasn't exactly thinking, okay?! I haven't been exactly the biggest part of your life for a while now and I'm sorry but I'm trying to make it right."

Blaine sighed. God, he wanted to box, he wanted to ramble and hit something. His sadness had turned into an anger that he couldn't control.

"I'm sorry too," he finally said, trying to calm down. Maybe it was time to make peace with his father, he figured. "I hadn't let you in my life neither, so it's not entirely your fault."

It wasn't until then when Blaine realized that that's how Kurt had probably felt the whole year. That's how Kurt had felt when they first met and that's how hard it was to make things okay again. Except, Blaine only had his father to make things okay to, Kurt had a lot more people. Kurt had to let everyone else in again, he had to deal with the life that he hated and he had to figure out his future. It wasn't until then when Blaine truly understood how hard it must have been for Kurt. And he, Blaine, had made it worse with NYADA. Kurt just wasn't ready to figure every out yet. He was still making peace with everything else in his life.

It wasn't just Kurt's fault that they were what they were now. Although Blaine still couldn't understand why Kurt would go on a date with _another guy__, _he realized that it wasn't Kurt's fault.

A pain of guilt ached in his heart. What was he supposed to do now?

* * *

Kurt couldn't make himself to call to Blaine. All he knew was that he was still in town, but planning his move to New York. He knew it because of Tina. Weeks went by and Kurt just did nothing, trying to figure something out. Suddenly he realized that there had been exactly a year since the day that Blaine had kissed him in the Lima Bean. It was just another beautiful morning, just like it had been a year ago.

Kurt hesitated, but decided to get out of the house then. He found himself in the coffee shop, unable to remember how he got there. He stood there, in the middle of the Lima Bean and watched how the morning crowd formed a line. He watched how Blaine Anderson stepped inside with puppy kind of sad eyes and looked around the shop.

Their eyes met.

* * *

Blaine wasn't sure if he saw correctly or if it was just his imagination. He had to convince himself that it wasn't just an hallucination.

"Hi," he said, stepping closer to Kurt. He looked so tired, so fragile and thin like hadn't been eating for months.

"Hey," Kurt said back. For a second it seemed to Blaine that the corners of his mouth twisted up a little. It was weird, seeing him after so many weeks he couldn't even count.

"How are you?" Blaine asked awkwardly, trying to make at least some kind of conversation.

"I.. uhm," Kurt swallowed. He was nervous for some reason, Blaine could see. "I've been wanting to call you, but.. I couldn't," he rambled. "I miss you," sighed then, his eyes tearing up. "I miss you and I'm sorry, I know it's my fault and I understand that you probably don't want to do anything to do with me, but I miss you."

Kurt went silent again; Blaine didn't say anything for while neither.

"You miss me?" Blaine broke the silence then, feeling his heartbeat quickening to that, his voice breaking. It felt too good to be true.

"Yeah," Kurt answered with some kind of hope his eyes. That made Blaine think about hope. "I'm sorry, it's okay if you just want to leave. It's not your fault."

Blaine shook his head.

"Kurt, do you know what day it is?" he asked then. "Do you know what happened, right here, _exactly _a year ago."

Blaine could've sworn that he saw a light blush on Kurt's pale cheeks.

"You kissed me," Kurt uttered and nodded. "I remember, that's why I'm here."

Blaine smiled lightly. _That's why he's here._Yes, hope was something that Blaine had for the first time after those miserable weeks. That hope grew bigger and bigger and Blaine could feel the unfamiliar warmth inside of him that was only there when Kurt was around.

"Me too," he confessed then and with that he decided to do the same thing he did exactly a year ago.

He stepped closer to Kurt, filled the gap between them and pressed his lips lightly onto Kurt's. Tears started to fall down of his cheeks because it felt _so good_ and he had missed it _so much_and he just didn't want this to end.

"I miss you too," he said then when their lips were still against each other but technically they weren't kissing anymore. "God, I miss you so much, Kurt." Their hands linked and Kurt let out a sharp cry of relief.

* * *

They walked, hand in hand in the same park where they had continued their kissing exactly a year ago. They walked in silence because just being there together, was enough for now. They needed to talk, Kurt knew that, but it seemed like neither of them couldn't get himself to start that conversation. That conversation could've meant something really good or the exact opposite. It either they'll get back together or they break things off for good.

God knew that Kurt wanted to be with that boy.

"I'm sorry," he said into the silence although he had probably used that phrase for too many times for now.

"I'm sorry too," Blaine answered but that made Kurt frown.

"For what?" he couldn't understand.

Blaine stopped walking and turned to face Kurt completely. He took Kurt's hands safely between his own and for a second all Kurt could think about was how soft and warm Blaine's hands felt.

"I'm sorry for making you go through what you did because of me. I didn't even realize how hard it could've been for you deal with NYADA and that stupid election and god.. Sebastian. I didn't even realize until couple weeks back after this.. talk with my father and I wanted to call you or something, but I couldn't."

"Oh, Blaine.." Kurt forgot New York, he forgot the reason why he still should be afraid.

"You had so much in your plate because of your past and you were still healing from the wounds."

"Blaine, it's okay," Kurt tried to say, but Blaine cut him off.

"No, don't say that it's okay, because it's not! It was selfish of me and I'm _so sorry_."

"I'm the one who's supposed to be sorry!" Kurt hailed. "I'm the one who cut you off and went on that stupid date with Chandler, I'm not even sure why I did it, god, I'm such a mess."

"Honey, it's okay, relax," Blaine mumbled at kissed Kurt's lips gently. "You'll be alright, you'll see."

Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then nodded. All he wanted to do, was trust Blaine and that actually came quite easily for him.

"Why don't we go to my house?" Blaine suggested then. "My parents aren't home, we can just sit and talk, okay?"

"Okay," Kurt nodded and let Blaine tug him closer.

* * *

They drove to Blaine's house separately because of the cars. Blaine found that maybe it was good thing: he needed this time to order his thoughts, questions and feelings. Once they both stepped out of their cars, they headed inside and without a question the walked to Blaine's room. He didn't realize that maybe it wasn't the greatest idea before they both got in and Kurt's eyes grew wide with fear because of the mess. It wasn't just a mess – it was Blaine packing up his stuff for New York.

"So, you're going," Kurt said without any significant emotions in his voice.

"Yeah," Blaine swallowed but didn't have chance to explain the whole situation.

"When?" Kurt inquired.

"Next week," Blaine answered and he could see something dying in Kurt. "I didn't want to leave before today," he quickly added. Kurt looked up at him with confusion. "Kurt, I want you to come with me."

"Blaine," Kurt groaned, but Blaine didn't let him talk.

"Listen to me, _I love you_, okay? _I love you_ and I want you to come to New York with me so you could keep following your dreams, but I _swear _that I'm not going to push you like this anymore. We'll figure something out, I promise. Kurt, please," Blaine was begging so badly that he didn't even realize that that was what he wanted the most: to be in New York with Kurt. The acting wasn't his dream, being with Kurt was.

"Blaine," Kurt groaned again, another tears running down his cheeks. God, they both had been crying so much that day but it still broke Blaine's heart to see Kurt crying and weeping. "You don't understand why I shut down at the first place. It's not that I don't love you, I do. And I do want to come with you, but I don't know if I can believe in the future. I know that we're stronger than just a high school fling, my dad told me this, but I don't know if love can still be forever? Is love enough? I can't bare another break up, Blaine but I need you. I mean, I think that that was the reason why I went out with Chandler at the first place, so that somebody would hold my hand, like you do."

"Oh, Kurt." It made sense now. Now Blaine could see everything much more clearly.

"And I'm still such a wreck and I'm broken. You shouldn't be with someone who's like this, you deserve _so much more_."

"Don't you get it?" Blaine cut him off then and stepped closer to take Kurt's face between his hands, just like he always did to look directly into Kurt's eyes and make him believe something deeper. "Don't you get it, Kurt? You're the love of my life and I couldn't love anybody else. _You're_ not the one who's broken. Your wings are."

"What?" Kurt spurted in confusion like he couldn't believe that he heard correctly.

"Yes, Kurt, your wings. I know it sounds.. cheesy, but that's what it is. You have to take your broken wings and learn to fly and I want to help you. But you can't do it here, in Ohio. There's not enough room for that, that's why you should come to New York too, not just because of me."

Blaine wept away Kurt's tears from his cheek.

"You still love me?" Kurt asked then with a shivering voice.

"Of course I love you, I never stopped loving you," Blaine answered with a smile and kissed the corner of his mouth. "You're the love of my life, Kurt Hummel and I want to spend it with you. Love _can_ be forever and even though I know that this won't always be easy, I also know that we'll make it Love maybe won't be enough but it's all we'll need."

"I love you too," Kurt sighed and smiled back. "I'll love you too."

With that, Kurt agreed on going to New York with Blaine. With that, Kurt stated that he'll love Blaine forever.

* * *

**AN: YAYA HAPPY ENDING. KLAINE IS ENDGAME, JUST REMEMBER THAT OKAY!  
**

**Thank you all SO MUCH for your lovely feedback, I love you all! There's still a little epilogue coming up, I was planning to post it right after the last chapter but I'm too tired to write it right now, so hopefully it will be sometime tomorrow or maybe sometime next week..  
**


	33. Epilogue

**AN: ****This is it guys, I woke up earily on Sunday morning just to write this and I'm super proud of myself.**

* * *

Epilogue

Burt watched his son rumbling through the house, packing some stuff at the last minute, trying to fit everything in this one small suitcase. He was frustrated, Burt could see, and.. nervous?

"Hey, hey, kiddo, calm down a little," Burt finally said and grabbed his son by shoulders. "Take a deep breath and let it out, everything's going to be okay."

"Dad, I'm going to New York without _any_ kind of plan. It can't be just okay," Kurt said. Burt could almost hear his heartbeat beating.

"Why are you so nervous?" he asked and Kurt sighed. "You're going to New York with the plan to finally really _live_ and to be with the man you love."

Some kind of hiccup released from Kurt's lungs when he said that. His son stared at him with wide eyes like he wouldn't believe what he had just heard.

"What?" Burt asked in confusion.

"You.. you s-said 'man'," Kurt stuttered. "You said I'm going to be with the _man_ I love. Not guy.. or a boy."

It took a moment before Burt could understand what Kurt was saying. When he did, however, he couldn't help but let out a tiny laugh and pull him into his arms.

"God, Kurt, of course he's a man. And so are you, you stopped being a boy or a.. _kiddo_ a long time ago, even though I hate to admit it."

Kurt laughed shakily too as they hugged. Now Burt could _feel_ the heartbeat beating rapidly in Kurt's chest.

"You gotta, calm down," Burt continued once they pulled away. "You'll be fine. You'll love New York, I know it and besides, I know for sure that you're going to be safe.." Kurt blinked. "Because of Blaine. He'll keep you safe."

They smiled and looked into each other's eyes for a moment until Kurt remembered that he'll be leaving any minute to New York and started running around the house again.

* * *

Of course it was hard for Burt. It was painful to drive his son to the airport and walk him in, where Blaine already waited him with his own parents.

"Hey," Blaine smiled lightly when Kurt showed up. It seemed like Blaine had already had some kind of doubts, if Kurt is really going to show up.

"Hi," Kurt answered and planted a tiniest kiss on Blaine's lips. God, they were adorable. "You ready?"

Blaine pressed his lips together and glanced over to Burt. That made Burt frown suspiciously. Something was off, Burt could see because Blaine looked even more nervous, than Kurt.

"Yeah, I just.. want to have a word with you r father."

Kurt blinked at him with confusion a few times but nodded then. While Blaine walked over to Burt, Blaine's parents walked over to Kurt to say their last goodbyes.

"Hey," Burt said to Blaine. God, was he really shaking? "You okay? You look like you're going to explode."

"It's because maybe I am," Blaine mumbled quietly.

"You're not having any second thoughts about living with Kurt, are you?" Burt couldn't help but ask. "Because it's really not the best time to tell me this.."

"No, no," Blaine answered quickly. "It's actually quite an opposite. "

"Oh?" Burt was confused. What was he talking about?

Blaine took a look over to his shoulder and glanced at Kurt who didn't even notice because he was too busy with talking to Blaine's parents. With the moment of preparation, Blaine pulled out of his pocket a small velvet box. Burt swallowed, hard.

"Mr. Hummel," Blaine said with a very nervous tone and opened the box. "I'm asking your permission to marry your son."

There was a ring: golden, with a.. bow tie statuette? Burt looked at Blaine like he'd want to ask if he had lost his marbles.

"Not right now," Blaine added quickly once he saw Burt's expression. "But like in.. a few years from now or so. I don't know exactly when, but I want to give this to Kurt, when it's time. And I'm asking your permission for that." Blaine was rambling, words came out barely.

"Oh, wow, okay, first of all," Burt uttered once he got his speech back. "Since when am I Mr. Hummel to you? As long as I remember, you've always called me by my name, which Burt by the way, and I'm more than fine with that."

Blaine blushed but relaxed a little.

"Secondly," Burt continued. "What's with the bow tie?"

Blaine just stood there and stared at him, saying nothing until he slowly understood the meaning of Burt's words.

"Wha- are you serious?" Blaine asked with very surprised tone. "You're giving me you permission to marry your son?"

"Well, that's what you asked, didn't you?

"Of course, yeah, that's what I asked," the boy answered with disbelief. "Oh, woah, I didn't think I could get it so easily though.."

"Don't be ridiculous," Burt said to that. "As long as you keep making him smile the way you do, I'm more than fine with you marring him, you don't need my permission for that."

A light shade of smile crept down to Blaine's scared face.

"Now, I'm still curious, what's up with that bow tie.. I mean, where the hell do you get all those bow tie rings from?"

"Well.." Blaine mumbled and took a look at the ring, like admiring it. "It's Marc Jacobs, I bought it with the most of the money I earned in the garage last summer, I hope you don't mind. I figured that maybe, if Kurt will turn back to fashion one day, he would appreciate it. And he.. knows the meaning of a bow tie. It's cheesy but.. I love him," he finally confessed with a confident smile. "And I want to spend the rest of my life proving him that."

It was a little weird to hear him saying that, it was the first time that he had confessed that to Burt, but it only made his heart fill joy and warmth. And with that, Burt knew in full confident that the next time he'll see his son, he'll be wearing a lot more Marc Jacob's clothes.

"Good," Burt smiled back. "Now put that away, so Kurt wouldn't see it and give me the last hug."

Blaine laughed and obligated, sliding a box back to his pocket and leaning for the last hug.

"Thank you Burt," Blaine said then. "Thank you for everything."

"You're welcome, son," Burt answered and they finally pulled away from each other.

Then came Kurt to give a last hug before Blaine took his hand and they walked happily towards to the gates. Before Burt lost the sight of them, he could notice them mounting 'I love you's to each other.

* * *

**AN: It's done, it's the end. The ring that I wrote about: post/33065986827 **

**Oh woah, I didn't think it would come to this but it did and I don't regret a thing. I feel like I've really improved my english and my writing skills with this story. I don't think that I've written something so big even in my native language, geez. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH, I can't tell enough how much I loved writing this and how much I appreciate you. Thank you for putting up with my poor english and for your lovely feeback, it kept me going! Shoutout to DancingintheRayne, jememj, ComeWhatMay-NOH8, Nurse Kate, god I adore you 3.  
**

**Uhm, if you care, then I'd like to write some headcanons or oneshots for this story, so keep following. I'll also 'promote' my stories on tumblr, so follow me there (ligthsandleaves) for more information. I also have this supermegafox good idea for new story, for one Klaine AU, but since my life is a b*tch to me right now, I don't know when I'll have to to write this -.- .  
**

**Also, I got this email from someone asking if she can translate this story to chinese. I can't reply to this email, but yes, whoever you are, you can translate it as long as you don't take the credit of this story :).  
**

**THANK YOU FOR READING I LOVE YOU!  
**


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